13 minutes a day with VeRoN....

The day of my first surgery in my life

2011-01-09T06:06:00.004+11:00

Before the surgery....

Got awaken by a nurse at 5.30am today.

Brushed my teeth and took a shower.

Put on the patients gown which took me ages to figure out. Whoever designed it must be an idiot who likes to see bare asses.

Got prepped for surgery on my tooth abscess which has caused a major infection that requires surgery. Got my blood pressure recorded, temperature checked and face sterylized. Now I really look like an idiot with my face wrapped like a wonton.

Said a little prayer but felt a little guilty and speechless coz it's been a while since i last spoke to Him.

Played a little Tommy Emmanuel on my ipod touch and started typing on the notepad.

As much as I'd love to post what I wrote on the notepad, I think I might just keep it between me and my dead body. Those things are way too personal and I'll probably take it to my grave.

During the surgery....

Was knocked out before I even saw the surgeon. But the feeling of getting drowsy before I went totally out was amazing. It's like everything was so beautiful and peaceful...lol. I was so damn highh.

The doctor performed what he called an abscess drainage as well as the extraction of the tooth. Also, he mentioned to me before that he is going to remove some cysts that he saw from the xray. Apparently it was just a half an hour procedure...sure felt like forever.

Post surgery....

Was out for about an hour in the recovery room and when I woke up, I felt groggy, drowsy, numb, weak, clueless and most of all, super uncomfortable. It's like getting up from a rough night of drinking and partying, except that I didn't get a hangover and an ugly naked guy/girl next to me. ;P

Got pushed back into my room as soon as they cleared everything and from then on, it was just snoozeville for me. Kept falling asleep and getting awaken by the constant blood pressure and temperature checks conducted by the nurse.

The numbness on my left cheek and tongue was absolutely uncomfortable and I kept trying to sleep it off to make it go away. But in the end, it took about 14 hours to go away completely.

There was no pain whatsoever after the numbness wore off, however as a precaution, the nurse just gave me some panadol.

Got hooked up to a couple of anti biotics thru my IV line every 6 hours...and damn..it was sooo uncomfortable. A little painful at first but it was more of the discomfort that bothers me. The feeling of fluids going thru your veins. Hate it.

I'm gonna be discharged some time today and I can't let you know how relieved I am. The doctor kinda called me a badass coz I actually drove myself to the hospital for admission and I'm gonna drive back home myself after I get discharged. Yeah...I agree that it's kinda badass too! LOL. Well what can I do right? My friends either don't drive or they're working on weekends.

Anyway,I'm super hungry now...when's my breakfast gonna be sent to me? Mmm...im having cheese omelette, baked beans, toast and juice today...can't wait after 2 days of not being able to eat properly.

Thanks for tuning in guys..I'll catch up with you guys later! If anyone is even reading this...lol. I know I haven't blogged in about 2 years...lol..

It's been a while...

2010-03-24T00:12:00.002+11:00

Hey guys, how's it going? I know I haven't exactly been updating my blog...but here I am trying to blog again. I had one of the worst days of work tonight and I got really mad. Mad as in....angry mad...not mad mad. But then again, maybe just a li'l mad mad too. To start with this story, I have to first tell you that I have recently been assigned to the entree section, instead of the pastry section. It wasn't really new to me...but still, I haven't really got the hang of being in charge of a bigger section.

So, my boss had been giving me loads of shit ever since I was in charge of the entree section. I have no idea why, but he seems to have a fetish of bullying the entree guy...which is now me...the entree gal. But if you know me well enough, I'm not the type that gets bullied easily. I may be small in size...but I would never let anyone bully or take advantage of me...ever....not even my boss.

So basically what happened was...the previous entree guy showed me how to do this dish..let's call it Dish A. He deep fried the polenta...wrapped it in serrano ham...and garnished it with pickled veges and roasted capsicums. That was how he presented "Dish A". And then when there was an order....I did the exact same thing as he did and my head chef almost blew my head off with his craZY yelling. Well...the funny thing was....the first feeling I felt was "betrayal"....I was like "Why the fuck did this guy showed me the wrong way? Is he trying to sabotage me or something?" And then I explained to my head chef that I was shown this way...so that is why I did it this way. He basically didn't care about my explanation and he accused me of "not giving a fuck about anything". And that is when my anger started to set in. My face turned red..eyes became watery...and hands began to tremble.

I think I did one of the biggest mistakes of my life....I yelled back at my chef. I told him it wasn't my fault...and that "somebody" for which I did not name, showed me the wrong way of presenting Dish A. I yelled back and I threw the first thing I could reach against the wall....and BANG!! No worries...it wasn't a knife...or anything dangerous at all. But it could have easily been. I lost my temper...yet again...for the third time since last week.

Normally after I lose my temper, guilt starts to take over shortly. And that was exactly how I felt. I felt guilty for losing my temper and then I felt depressed. I did not speak a word after that...not to my head chef and not to my colleagues. My head chef tried to engage in a conversation with me...but I totally shut him out with my silent treatment towards him.

After the silent phase was over...which lasted for about 15 minutes...I began to sing...lol!! It's funny how I manage my anger...and my post anger. I began to sing Christian songs and I actually sang it at the top my lungs. Didn't care if I sounded horrible...I just sang my heart out. Even when ppl were trying to talk to me...I ignored them and just sang. I guess that's how I control my anger...what can I say...singing calms me down. And it prevents me from saying things that I would regret saying otherwise. However, my actions still indicated that I was angry...coz I was doing very heavy actions...like banging stuff on the bench...throwing shit at the sink....and making vigorous strokes when wiping off my bench.

Anyway....basically everyone in the kitchen knew that I was angry and nobody dared say a word to me. Not even a close friend of mine....and surprisingly...not even my head chef. I guess I look kinda scary when I'm angry....despite my small sized body. So after I finished cleaning the kitchen, I went straight home, without even saying goodbye to anybody. I just went to my car and drove....I just drove and drove and drove until I ended up at Maroubra Beach. I stopped there and just sat in the car by myself and reflected upon myself and what I did.

Lots of thoughts circled through my mind and I just kept playing back the incident that happened in the kitchen. Like when my boss yelled at me for something that is not entirely my fault...and how I responded to it. I got really emotional...and I don't know why. After lots of thinking...I finally came down to a conclusion. I really care about what my head chef thinks of me. I really care about what he sees of me. And I constantly seek of his approval and attention. This has never happened to me...ever...in my previous jobs. I never really cared what ppl think of me...as long as I do the right thing. But with my current job...I just can't stop being too personal...which leads to my following realization....

I really have no where else to turn to except my work place. Everything in my life is work. Everything in my life has something to do with work. I live with my colleague...one of my closest friends works with me....I talk about work whenever I'm off work....I live 5 minutes away from work....I hang out with ppl at work....finally and most importantly...I've built a family within my work environment. Everyone at my work place is like my family...especially my boss...since he has taught me so much...and I will never ever forget that. He's like a father and teacher to me. That is why I take work so personally sometimes.

Some ppl say it can be a good thing....but I think it tortures me sometimes. Like when I finally realize that everything is actually just a business transaction in the end....I work for them, they pay me. Fair and square. And there's not really such a thing as a family within the work place. Well...I really don't know what to think anymore. Maybe the solution is to find something else to pursue in my life other than work.

Anyway...I think that's enough said for today. Now I'm thinking what face to put on when I go to work tomorrow...lol. Well...good luck to me tomorrow coz I have to work with my head chef side by side since a couple of my colleagues are gonna be off. Alrighty then....have a good night. I'll write again soon.

Bless me Father, for I have sinned....

2009-10-22T23:40:00.006+11:00

Bless me Father for I have sinned...this is my first real confession ever since I got baptized and confirmed. I haven't been in my best behavior recently. Today, I have lost my temper at work and I feel really sorry and guilty about it. Please forgive me for getting angry at my colleague for being such a dickhead. And pls forgive me for calling him a dickhead. I know I shouldn't make excuses but the reason why I got really mad today was becoz he provoked me. He shouldn't have provoked me when I was already at a vulnerable state of mind. However, I should have kept my cool and not lose it. I shouldn't have let my emotions control me....I should've controlled it!!

I made a mistake today in not fulfilling my duties properly and accurately, and thus, it came to bite me in my ass. I did not have enough mango or strawberry sorbet in my stock, and it really bit me in my ass.....big time. I really have to thank my head chef for taking it so calmly and tried to solve it for me. But I was really disappointed with my dickhead colleague, whom I've helped countless times in the past.....he totally broke my confidence and busted my temper when he blamed and accused me for being unorganized. I felt like taking a swing at him....and I actually told him that....but he kept provoking me with his words and it made me even angrier...and finally, I lost it. I threw tantrums by throwing shit around....and all my colleagues knew that I was pissed off. I'm sorry....I really didn't mean for that to happen....it just did.

During the period when I was angry, I tried to calm myself down by counting 1 to 10...like most ppl would tell u to. But I also told myself to control my emotions and not let my emotions control me. I talked myself throughout my anger and it actually calmed me down a bit....but still, I was showing signs of anger through my actions. After my anger has subsided a bit, I felt really awful and guilty....and from then I knew that I had an anger problem. I could feel that this anger did not branch out from my dickhead colleague who pissed me off....the source was not that...but instead...it was accumulated anger that I've kept in my heart for 20 or so years. I am an angry person...whether I admit it or not. I don't exactly know why I'm such an angry person....but I'm sure it's got to do with my past.

When I got home from work today, I just googled "Anger management" and read all the relevant articles. I;m really sincere to overcome my anger issues. I don't know how I went from reading anger management articles to searching for church mass times. For some reason, I believed that my anger issues could be solved by returning to church. Not sure if there's any truth to that...but I would do anything to kill my anger issues and have peace in my heart. Riight now, my heart is just chaos. Or maybe becoz sometimes, I feel that I'm all alone in this world and there's no one around me who understands me. I think the source of my anger is from that.

I am really sincere in solving my anger issues. I really want to be a calm person who can control my emotions. I wanna refresh my heart and renew my soul. Please forgive my Father Lord for all my wrongdoings. I truly regret it from the bottom of my heart and please give me strength to overcome this problem. Thank you Lord for listening to me. Amen.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

2009-08-14T23:24:00.003+10:00

Hey guys....sorry for ignoring my blog yet again...I've just been crazy busy over the past week...I'm so damn busy that it's not even funny!! I go to college every Monday, Wednesday and Friday....and I gotta work from Thursday to Sunday...and they're all freakin' 12 hour shifts. The worst one is Friday...coz I gotta go to college at 8am in the morning and then head straight to work after class and finish work at 11pm. My feet really hurts like hell at the moment....*ouch*

Anyway...this restaurant that I'm currently working at is a brand new restaurant...so all the chefs are not very familiar with the menu, except for my head chef, who is also the owner. So we have an entree chef, breakfast chef, grill chef, dessert chef, sous chef and head chef. And guess which chef am I?? Lol...I still laugh at the fact that I'm the dessert chef (coz I hate desserts...very much!!).

I bet you must be thinking why the hell am I in charge of desserts when I don't even have prior experience in the kitchen. The truth is.....I don't even know why myself. To be honest, I wasn't even sure if I was capable of handling a whole section by myself...especially since I'm just a small potato apprentice. And for the past few days...I have done a very good job in proving that I'm not capable at all in handling a section all by myself...coz I was slow, unsure, unconfident and inexperienced. I could see the look on my chef's face when I asked him how'd I do over the past few days...even though he said he was pretty happy with my performance...but his facial expression contradicted his words. Even the other chefs didn't really have confidence in me...how do I know this? Well...they were basically ignoring me and weren't really trying to include me during service. So I was kinda upset when I got back home last night, thinking that I could never measure up to their standards.

But today when I went to work, I performed soooooo much better...and even I was shocked at my sudden improvement and confidence. Because dessert orders normally comes in a bit later, I had to assist in the entree section. I did pretty well, teaming up with the entree chef in plating up the dishes at a speed and accuracy I'd never thought I could ever achieve after only 2 days of working in the kitchen. On top of that, I still had to make the desserts when the orders comes up. I did quite a few desserts tonight...and all of them went out pretty good! Except maybe for the chocolate fondant...where I still can't really get it right. But other than that, everything was good. Not awesome...but good enough for a person who's never worked in a professional kitchen before until 2 days ago.

I was soooo high with adrenaline...and it felt good. And guess what? My head chef started complimenting me...the other chefs gave me a pat on my back....and I even got a freakin' high five. Well...the thing about the kitchen is that...you gotta do something really MAJOR to gain RESPECT from your fellow chefs...especially if you're the only female in the kitchen. If not, they're just gonna treat you like a small potato for as long as you work there. They would never trust you, unless you've proven to be trustworthy. And THAT, ladies and gentlemen....was what I gained today! RESPECT and TRUST!!

Alright...enough gloating for the time being. Plus, I kinda need to go now...coz I still have a major assignment to complete and I still gotta go to work tomorrow and on Sunday....which gives me only so much time for my assignment. I'll see you guys soon then! Cheers!

Back from the dead

2009-07-26T20:37:00.004+10:00

Hey peepz...I hope there's actually still "peepz" reading my blog...though there hasn't been much to read lately. I guess I've just been really lazy for the past month. But I'm back again...so..what have I been up to for the past month??? Hmm...lemme see...the last time I wrote my blog was about my trial at Pier. Since then, I......

busted my mind thinking whether to take the job at Pier's. attended college as usual, cookin' away with my classmates. did my final practical exam and passed with not so flying colors. received a pasta machine, movie voucher and a birthday card from Zalfa and almost burst into tears. celebrated my b'day with my mates at a teppanyaki place, gelato and karaoke afterwards. received a surprise birthday cake from everyone who came that day. practised my guitar playing and attended lessons. finally decided to give up on the job at Pier's. sent out CVs to random restaurants in sydney. not getting replies from random restaurants in sydney. getting rejected from random restaurants in sydney. made my very first homemade pizza and lasagna from scratch and served it to friends.farewelled my dearest friend/mother/classmate aka Zalfa. took a trip to Hunter Valley with a few friends and planned to get wasted the whole time. got sick throughout the whole trip at Hunter's, so the getting wasted part didn't really happen. practised my guitar again. whinged about getting back to college in the stupid ugly uniform. collected my stupid ugly uniform from the shops. out shopping for my graduation and got myself a black dress. practised my guitar even more. sent out even more CVs to random restaurants. got ignored by even more random restaurants. went back to college on a monday and discovered that it was like high school all over again, except that I might've stumbled upon a Korean high school coz 80% of them are Koreans, so help me God. kept complaining about the dry-ness of the academic content this term. answered every question of the lecturers' because the others wouldn't. stepped on stage, shook the person's hand, received my certificate and GRADUATED from my culinary course. took pictures with my dear classmates and random ppl whom I don't know. took pictures with my favorite chef of all time, Chef Ross. went to star city for the after grad party. saw a pretty good acoustic band at Star City. played a few hands at Star city. won 200 bucks from Star City. attended more boring and repetitive classes. made some friends, and maybe a few enemies. complained more about the classes. wondered how the hell am I gonna last for another 5 months in college. received a call from a random dude who didn't even care to identify himself over the phone but turned out to be a potential employer whom I might be working for in a couple of weeks' time. attended a trial at a pretty crap restaurant and started regretting about giving up on Pier's. thought of moving away from Sydney for my industry placement, possibly Melbourne or Brisbane.

Basically, the gist and highlights of my story for the past month is on there. Anything that happened in between those events are either unmentionable or simply forgotten. So..tomorrow's the start of my 2nd week at my management course. GOSHH....I could just die mentioning about it. I don't mean to be a snob...but seriously, I've paid a huge sum of money for absolutely NOTHING. I've basically learned everything that the course has got to offer back in Uni....and it's just gonna be deja vu to me. If I wanted a deja vu, I could just stand right in front of a speeding motorcycle and let it skid across me like it happened when I was 10.

Anyways, I gotta go now. I'll catch you guys later. Cheers!!

My Kitchen Nightmare

2009-06-06T15:19:00.004+10:00

Hey there my fellow readers. I know it's been a while since the last time I updated my blog. I've just been slacking a lot these days. Anyway, here I am giving you my latest updates.

Sooo...remember I was saying that I was gonna become the head chef of my college's restaurant?? Well, that was last week and I didn't think it went as well as I'd have expected. Also, I didn't enjoy it as much as I would've liked. Being the boss is just way too overrated. Anyway, I don't wanna go too much in detail about this head chef thing...coz there's something else in my mind that I wanna express.

Some of you may know that I went for a trial at Pier's yesterday. It's my first time ever working in a professional kitchen...and it's my first trial job in a 3 chef's hat restaurant. I gotta say, I'm pretty darn lucky to be called up for a trial. The trial is at 4pm and I finished my guitar lesson at 3pm. So there's one whole hour for me to travel from Marrickville to Rosebay...which is a pretty considerate amount of travel time. But guess what? There was an incident on Parramatta road and the cops sealed the roads, so I had to take a detour.

To cut the long story short, I knew I was gonna be late...and I was in the end. But thank God I had Pier's number in my call archives and I managed to get hold of the head chef and told em' I was gonna be late. He sounded like he was okay with it and it calmed me a little. But I still felt a little frustrated and uneasy coz I'm not the kind of person who likes to be late for anything...especially for my first job trial in a world class fine dining restaurant. I almost cried in my car coz this was such an important trial for me...it's gonna be my first step to "culinary greatness" and obviously I didn't wanna be late. Anyway, everything was okay in the end. Chef didn't seem like he held a grudge.

There were 7 chefs in the kitchen including me. One head chef, one sous chef, one pastry chef, two chef de parties and two commis. I was put under the charge of an 18 year old commis called James, who is already in his 3rd year apprenticeship. It was a li'l intimidating...but wtf right? Age is just a number....so that's what they say. I was in the cold larder section together with James and the first job I had to do was to extract crabmeat from quality spanish crabs....with my fingers...and it has to be kept in large chunks. And after extracting the crabmeat, we had to triple check the crabmeat for shells...and FYI, both the crabmeat and the shells are white in color...so they're basically camouflaged. That took a hell lot of patience from me...but I did it anyway. After all, I'm just a freakin' 1st year apprentice.

The head chef is quite a character...he reminds me of Gordon Ramsay, except that he's Aussie and he's quite a joker. He's the type of chef that can joke with you when you're not pissing him off....but if you do piss him off, he can get quite physical. He actually called one of the chef de parties an "English cunt" when he failed to communicate with the others. He uses the F word a lot...quite vigorously I gotta say. For example, he said to this French dude..."Are you fuckin kidding me? You come from the land of fuckin foie gras and you can't fuckin cook it? Something like that...

But there was one incident that is still playing in my mind and I find that a little off putting. Head chef was yelling at James for something he did wrong...and at one point, he literally grabbed his shirt and shoved him to the wall, and then he ordered him to get out of the kitchen. And then he went on and said, "I'm gonna fuckin' sack you, James. You don't fuckin' deserve to be here, u know that? And don't expect to get a letter of recommendation from me.

I was standing right beside the 2 of them when that happened, so I had a first class view from my position. It was really scary...and being the third person does not feel good at all. There was just this intense vibe that just made me felt so awkward...and did I mention scared? I haven't felt this way since I was a kid when my abusive aunt caned me and then threw me outta the house for crying too loud (gosh, she was a chef too). It felt like the chef was gonna hurt James...but of course he didn't...but he did deliver the message pretty well...especially to me.

I thought James took it pretty well...he just abided by chef's orders and left the kitchen...but he did slam the door a little. However, Chef went soft later and told me to let him back into the kitchen. But when he came back into the kitchen, Chef didn't let him off easy. He constantly picked on him...and say really mean things to him. I didn't feel good at all, being the 3rd person. I mean...I totally didn't expect something like this to happen...I thought this only happens on TV...hell's kitchen and all that...but I didn't actually think that it's real. But fuck me...it's fuckin' real. IT'S FUCKING REAL!!!

Of course, Chef didn't yell at me...coz I was just there for a trial...I'm not his employee...yet. I did think that maybe he's not gonna lose it on a girl like he would on a guy...but I dismissed the thought as soon as I had it. Coz I know that there isn't such a thing. Maybe he won't shove a girl to the wall (or maybe he would), but he's definitely gonna yell and curse at you, regardless of whether you're a guy or girl. But you know...words don't really bother me as much as actions. So long as he doesn't get physical...like shoving me to the wall...I can take it. I'm not a person who responses well to physical violence...coz trust me...I would snap back.

If someone slaps me in the face, I'll punch em' in the face. If someone punches me in the face, I'll stab em' with a knife. If someone stabs me with a knife....I'll fuckin' dissect them like a lab rat. I am that revengeful...

But of course...I'm not literally that person. It's just a figurative way of saying that I will not let a person off easily if they try to physically hurt me. What can I say...I'm not a very forgiving person when it comes to violence.

Anyway...back to the topic. At the end of the night, I had a little chat with the head chef. He asked me how did I go...and whether I liked it or not. I put on a fake smile and said with my fake voice, "Err..yeah chef. I really liked it."

HOLY CRAP...you have no idea how much I hated it. I hated the design of the kitchen. I hated the space...coz there wasn't any. I hated the vibes in the kitchen...especially the cursing, yelling and shoving. I hated the ergonomics of the kitchen. Everything is so fuckin' high up that it's not even practical for anyone under the height of 5'5. Chef asked me to grab a plate from the top shelf and I can't fuckin reach it...I had to ask James to grab it for me. Chef didn't say anything...but I could sense that he was testing me. He knew that I couldn't reach for the top shelf...but he asked me to anyway. And I'm sure he knew that James grabbed the plate for me. Lately, I have this special gift of figuring ppl out...so...I figured him out. He's testing me...and in some form of way, I felt like I'm being played.

And if you know me well enough, you'd know that never in my life have I ever let my height or size get in the way of doing things that I love. When I was in primary school, I was one of the shortest in my class...but it never stopped me from being one of the best players in basketball. In high school, I probably have the smallest hands and shortest fingers...but it never stopped me from being the one of the best guitar players. And now that I'm in adulthood, I'm sure as hell not gonna let my height get in the way of being a chef. But this....even for me....is quite a difficult task.

Sighh...what have I gotten myself into? I don't mind getting yelled at for being sloppy, careless or lazy at doing my job...coz I would totally deserve that. But I just don't wanna get yelled at...or even sacked...just becoz I am physically unable to perform the given tasks. I was watching Grey's Anatomy the other day and this short guy went on this painful surgery of lengthening his legs only by 2 inches. There were complications during his surgery and his knees were so infected that his bones were showing on top of his skin. And then the doctor was asking if it's worth all the pain and he said that it was. At the time, I thought he was such a fool...I mean, he only wanted to increase his height to get a date. But now, I could understand how he feels...coz he just wants to be "able" to do something that he's always wanted...which is to go on a decent date. And for me, I just wanna be "able" to do my job. Is that even too much to ask?

Anyway, Chef said that he's gonna be away for 2 weeks and when he comes back, he's gonna give me a call and let me know if I'm hired. Part of me am glad that there's still a chance that I might be hired...but part of me just wanna give this up. I'm still contemplating whether to take this on or not...but a very big part of me just keeps saying 'No'. I don't know what to think or do now...but one thing for sure, I can't get this thing off my mind...and I have to. My exams are in 2 weeks and I don't want this thing to be affecting me.

I'm a bit depressed at the moment...I feel like I'm physically unable to do something that I love. I've never felt this way before...which is why I'm making such a big deal of. The feeling is like an asthmatic person who loves running, but is unable to due to his/her asthmatic condition.

But you know, it's not the end of the world. I'm sure there's another kitchen that would suit me better. Plus, that kitchen wasn't even that awesome. It was small and cramped....and they don't really use machines like food processors and stuff. I'm more into modern cooking where you use slicers, food processors, blenders, and all the other fancy cooking gadgets there is. Even though it means that I gotta let go of a great opportunity, I'm still quite positive towards my future as a chef. I may not be a Gordon Ramsay....but I might be a Jamie Oliver who does his cooking shows and plays drums while he's at it. That's wayyy cooler...lol.

Anyway, I gotta run now. I guess I'll catcha later. Cheers.

Chef Veron

2009-05-23T15:04:00.003+10:00

For the past few weeks, I've been indulging myself in a fine dining spree. I know this sounds crazy...but it's true, I've been dining at world class restaurants that had cost me a fortune. First it was Claude's, which was an utter disappointment....then I went to Quay, which by the way is the best restaurant ever....and then Pier, but I didn't really pay for that one. What is it with fine dining restaurants and one-syllabled names anyway?? Does it make it more....elegant???? Or classy??? Whatever...

Before this, I've never even been to any fine dining restaurants before....and in just less than a month, I've already visited 3 of the most renowned restaurants in Sydney. And on next Monday, I'm dining in at another fine dining place called Burlington. This is a cheaper option of fine dining...and I heard the food is great.

You know what the funny thing is?? All these fine dining experience has kinda made me a food snob. I wouldn't eat anything that taste anything less than good. I wouldn't even enjoy mediocre food anymore.

Before, I would eat absolutely anything, whether it taste good or bad...just as long as it fills me up and is something that I would normally eat.

Before, I would gobble up a piece of well-done steak...but now, I wouldn't even consider touching a piece of steak that is cooked more than a medium doneness.

Before, I wouldn't be able to detect the flaws of a dish, but now, I begin to compliment or criticize a dish that I'm served in a restaurant.

Before, I wouldn't care if a dish was bland or salty...but now, I wouldn't even consider eating anything that taste bland coz it's absolutely disgusting.

Before, I wouldn't even bother tasting any food that is new to me...but now, I would taste absolutely ANYTHING that you would call "food."

And finally, I used to always go back to the same ol' restaurants and order the same ol' dish....but now, I try new restaurants all the time and I would order different dishes.

Bottom line is, I have a new perspective on food now...and I'm so glad that I've finally discovered the wonders and awesomeness of food. I just cannot believe how I used to ignore what I eat and I was totally clueless about food and cooking. Sometimes I wonder what made me change my perspective...and when I attempt to trace back my steps...and I ended up with Gordon Ramsay.

I'm sure all of you know that I used to be a huge fan of Gordon Ramsay's. Did you realize that I said "used to"? Well, I'm no longer a big fan of his...coz I've got a new role model now...and I call him Ross the Boss. But I will never ever forget that sometime around a year ago, I saw this food show on TV, becoz my housemate so happened to be watching it...it was called "Kitchen Nightmares" featuring Gordon Ramsay. After watching that episode on TV, I immediately you-tubed every other episodes of it and I was HOOKED. I was sooo amazed that food can be so exciting. I was sooo surprised that cooking can be soooo interestiing.

As the days go by, I kept youtube-ing Gordon Ramsay's other shows such as Hell's Kitchen and The F Word. First, I was obsessed with the guy....but after than I began obsessing with the food and cooking. I even experimented some of his recipes at home and I began to develop this passion for food and cooking.

That was when I decided that I wanna be a chef...and that there's nothing in the world that could stop me from achieving this new found passion of mine.

It's funny how a seed is planted in people...and how fast it grows into a tree. Ladies and gentlemen.....I, VERON HAS GROWN INTO A TREE!! Haha...Yes I'm a big fat tree!! I have only 5 more weeks to go, and I'll be officially finished with my culinary course. And GUESS WHAT ppl!!!

I am going to be the HEAD CHEF of my college's restaurant next Wednesday and I'm soooo freakin' excited.

You must be wondering why I was picked to be the Head Chef next week? Especially since I'm one of the weak links in my class. Well...the answer is, I didn't get picked. I volunteered. LOL. Well I did and I'm glad I did. I paid almost $10,000 for this course and I'm gonna make sure I get the most out of it. And if I'm given an opportunity to be the head chef...I have to take it. I'll be an idiot if I don't. Am I right??

I'm really excited and nervous at the same time about this....coz I haven't really been a leader since I was in high school. That's 5 years without any leadership practice. I wonder if I still got it. Deep inside, I know that I'm capable...but I do have my doubts. I guess this is gonna be a real test for my leadership and organization skills....and if I ace this, I know I'm gonna be alright in the future. And if I don't, then I'll know what I gotta work on in order to be better. It's a win/win.

Anyway, I think I'm gonna stop here. Have a nice time, ppl. Cheers.

Restaurant Duty

2009-05-06T18:05:00.008+10:00

I know it's been a while, guys! I'm really sorry for the lack of posts...I've just been busy lately and a lot has happened and is still happening in my recent culinary life. Most of you would have known that I've started my Superior course 3 weeks ago...and I've got restaurant duty every Wednesday of the week. If you don't already know, I've actually been cooking for real customers since 2 weeks ago...and it is also my very first time cooking for paying customers. It's definitely a major milestone for me...even though I'm only cooking in a training restaurant.

Last week, I was allocated to the main course section, along with Sally and Roberto. Main course is one of the busiest and most important section in the kitchen. The menu of our restaurant for that week was...

Pretty exciting menu, right? We actually had to make everything from scratch...except for the breads, coz the yeast needs to rest overnight in order to work properly. So we made the ravioli, soup, sauces, desserts and every other thing from scratch. It's nothing new really...I mean...even in normal practical classes, we still had to make everything from scratch.

So anyway...I was in charge of the fish. I had to fillet the fish, cook it, plate it and serve it. It was pretty awesome. I wish I had a picture to show you guys...but I didn't manage to take a picture of the dish coz I was too busy serving it. The first week of restaurant was kinda messy...coz it was the first time that we're actually working in a team environment..and some of us never had any experience working in a real life restaurant kitchen setting...so service was a little chaotic. However, we managed to get by without Chef Marcus yelling at us like Gordon Ramsay on Hell's Kitchen...so I guess it was still alright. And that was last week's restaurant experience.

Yesterday, we had restaurant duty again...and the menu was the same as last week's. However, our roles have been swapped around. This time, I was put in the dessert section. Oh freakin' hell...I HATE DESSERTS!! I hate makin' em, I hate eating em, and I sure as hell don't enjoy working on em. I'd rather de-bone 100 fat chickens rather than making desserts. But what the hell right?? Every chef has to know a li'l somethin' bout desserts...so I took up the challenge. Because Chef Marcus lets us know our roster in advance, therefore I had time to do some research on the menu. For some reason, I took up this task without much complaints...I just dealt with it...and I even contributed a couple of wacky ideas in regards to the presentation of the dish. I even spent a fair amount of time on the night before googling on the desserts we had to make and see if there's anything that I can use for garnish and decorations.

On that very morning, I entered class with a confident mind full of creative ideas on the dessert dishes. I was really proud of myself...coz I managed to come up with ideas on something that I don't really enjoy doing. I came up with the idea of "Chocolate dipped strawberries" for garnish...and I'm glad Chef liked the idea. As much as I hated doing desserts, for some reason, I still managed to enjoy myself. LOL...I guess it's becoz making desserts is so relaxing and I kinda find it therapeutic. It's like the only time where I don't need to take my knives out of my toolbox and start chopping vegetables like crazy. All I had to do was just playing around and mixing flour, eggs, sugar, milk, cream, chocolates, etc. To be honest, it's kinda fun. LOL...SsssHhhhh....Don't tell anyone!!

I was in charge of making the chocolate ice cream for the profiteroles....and it was really awesome! I love making ice-creams...and I definitely love eating them. I guess ice-cream is the only exception to my hatred for sweets and desserts. The ice-cream that I made had the "gelato" texture...and I was really proud of it. I don't care what others say...but I made the best chocolate ice-cream ever!! Lol...I'm starting to sound like a chef taking pride for the dishes I made. Anyway...I have some pictures of the desserts that we made.

This is called Profiteroles...I took this picture from Google images. I forgot to take a picture of the profiteroles that I made. But this is how it looks like anyway.

But this one is the real picture of the Chiboust. That was how we presented our Chiboust...and the musical notes decorations was NOT my idea! I REPEAT...it is NOT my idea! It's my chef's idea and I thought it was really lame...and I didn't really appreciate it! Sorry, chef marcus!

Anyway..we had a really quiet service yesterday...coz we only had 15 customers. And only 8 of em ordered desserts. It was quite boring...and I slacked around a lot. But next week...I'll be doing the "Entrees" and we have a whole new menu. This time, the menu is more of a challenge to produce...and I think we're gonna struggle a lot next week. You might think I'm crazy, but this is how I like it. I like challenges...I like struggles...and I like stress. Why?? Because if I manage to overcome the challenge, struggle or stress...I would feel the satisfaction that beats the hell out of any types of gratification. I guess this is just how I get my rush...some ppl resort to drugs...alcohol...sex...etc. But for me...it's the overcoming of a challenge that gives me the rush...that keeps my adrenaline pumping!! Thus, I'm definitely gonna enjoy next week's restaurant duty coz it's gonna be TOUGHER than a piece of well done meat.

BTW...the restaurant is called "Ambassador Restaurant" and it's located in TAFE Ryde. It's a training restaurant...so all the cooks in the kitchen are students...but there's always a qualified Chef/teacher overseeing the kitchen operations. If anyone who is in Sydney that is interested in visiting the restaurant...just google "Ambassador Restaurant" and you will find the contact details from the search results. REMEMBER...I'm only cooking in the kitchen every WEDNESDAY lunch. The other days are done by other classes....which is obviously not as great as my class! LOL....Whoever's from SC4 and SC5 is gonna kill me if they read this.

Here are some of the other pictures of dishes that I made in class. Enjoy looking at it....don't drool over your keyboard...hehe. CHEERS!

Superior Cuisine

2009-04-29T21:44:00.002+10:00

I touched down at Sydney airport on Sunday morning and damn...it was freakin' cold. I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt and I was almost freezing to death. To make things worse, there was an extremely long queue at the taxi stands and I waited for about 15-20 mins for a taxi. I was glad to be back...coz the next day would be the start of my Superior Cuisine course...and I was damn excited about it. I was so excited that I had a hard time falling asleep. However, the downside about this semester is that I have to get up before 6am so that I'll be on time for class which starts at 7:30am. Nevertheless, I was very motivated...even if it was a freezing morning, I would still make it a point to get up on time and go to college.

For this term, I had pretty good chefs. Way better than last term's. The only disappointment was that Chef Ross wasn't one of our chefs...he teaches only the Thursday-Saturday batch....which was kind of a blow for my batch. However, I am extremely contented with my chefs this term...they are all great teachers and very professional, especially Chef Tristan, who is my practical chef...he's pretty awesome. I gotta say...he's quite a serious chef...I mean he does joke with us once in a while...but he's pretty stern most of the time...in a reasonable way of course. He loves being extremely organized that he prepares some of the ingredients in little tubs for each one of us, so that we don't have to go get it ourselves which can be very inefficient at most times. In general, I like Chef Tristan....I believe that I'm gonna learn a lot from him this term.

Did I mention that I will be cooking in a real-life commercial kitchen for the college's training restaurant, whereby each student is in charge of a certain section?? I'm actually very excited about this element of the course...coz this is the opportunity where I can push myself to the limit and see what I can come up with. My restaurant chef is Chef Marcus....the chef whom I was never really a big fan of...just becoz I heard negative comments bout him from other students who had him as a chef previously. But surprisingly, he's actually quite a good teacher. He's very thorough and organized....and I learned a lot from him today when he ran my practical class. I guess you can never trust other ppl's comments completely...coz sometimes it's just up to you to judge for yourself. And for me, Chef Marcus is a great chef...however, not as AWESOME as Chef Ross!! Lol...Ross is still the Boss for me!!

So Chef Marcus has divided all of us into our respective sections according to our strengths. Not that he knows what our strengths are, especially since he only taught our class today...but he has put me in the most difficult section...the MAIN COURSE section, together with Roberto the Brazilian surfer dude and Sally aka Sonic, coz she's just so fast. However, I'm kinda glad that Chef put me in this section becoz I believe that the main course is kinda like my strength, as compared to entrees and desserts. I would totally suck in the dessert section...lol...I'm just really terrible with desserts.

Roberto and Sally is like two of the best students in my class...and I'm only average. I guess what I'm afraid of is that I can't keep up with the both of them...and they end up doing most of the work and I'm just gonna be standing there, folding my arms, doing nothing. You could say that I'm a little intimidated by them...but then again, it also motivates me to keep up with their standards and at the end of the day, I get to improve myself even more. So it's a bit of a mixed feelings teaming up with them....but I think I'm gonna try to make the best out of it, even if it requires me to work under them. Coz I believe that Roberto and Sally would be the ones taking turns to take charge...and I'll be the underdog that just follow their commands. I'm not saying that I wanna take charge or anything like that...but I do wanna be heard and I want my suggestions to count. I just hope that they wouldn't leave me out in the decision process...coz it would really annoy me if they did. I hate being treated like I'm invisible.

Anyway, I'm gonna do as much research as I can on the two main course dishes that we'll be serving...so that I would be on top of my game and there won't be room for mistakes....and I won't give anyone a chance to spot my errors...coz there won't be any!!

Enough about college!! Just now, me, Zalfa, Angeline and Gerald went to this place called the The Belgian Beer Cafe at Balmain for dinner and WHOA....we had an entree tasting plate, 4 pots of mussels for our mains and Belgian waffles for dessert. That was a lot of food...but we managed to gobble em up. I had a really great time and I enjoyed our conversations very much. Sometimes I get really amazed at myself becoz even though there was a generation gap between myself and the 3 of them, I somehow still managed to hang out with them. It's really weird....I don't understand how I do it...but I actually enjoy hanging out with older people than with people of my age. I find that there's more stuff to talk about with them....I've always thought that I was born in the wrong era...I guess I was right after all!! I think I would've enjoyed life even more if I was born in the 60s or 70s! That way, I get to witness live 80s rock and roll music....wear funky bell bottom jeans....and perm my hair real puffy!! Lol...that would be so fuckin' awesome!!!

So this week has kinda ended for me...especially that I'm still out of a job...my Thursdays-Sundays usually consist of 24 hours of TV and movies. I know I need to get a life...sigh. OH BTW...I just received my tax bonus of $900 bucks!! WOOOHOOO....I'm so happy coz I've been really tight with cash these days....but now that I have the $900 bucks, I can use it to get things that I've always wanted to get but just too broke to purchase it. There are actually a few items in my mind atm.

Nintendo Wii???

Camcorder??

Guitar pedal??

A good quality Japanese chef knife??

A vacation to Melbourne??

Gosh...I really have so many things that I intend to buy. I guess there's always gonna be opportunity costs that I need to for-go...that's just the basics of economics!! Sigh...how I wish life doesn't work this way. Anyway...I think I'm kinda leaning towards the camcorder or the trip to melbourne! Whaddaya think??? Give me some suggestions!!!!!!

Any-hoo...I gotta go now! I'll catcha guys later! Cheers!

-VeRoN-

To Trust Or Not To Trust?

2009-04-22T01:04:00.003+10:00

How do you establish whether to trust a person or not? Do you trust him/her just because he/she is your friend? Family member? Husband/Wife? Girlfriend/Boyfriend? Colleague? Your teacher? Your priest? Some stranger on the street??

Well, the answer to this question is....You can never establish TRUST. Trust is such an ambiguous matter that nobody in the world could predict, even if you can read their minds from 100 miles out. Why? Because humans are built to change according to situations, environments and influences. Humans can change their minds, decisions and point of views within seconds...which is why trust can never be established 100% by anyone. Maybe except Jesus...he knew that Judas was gonna betray him....and he knew that Peter was gonna deny him 3 times...lol..I'll give Jesus credit for that!! But my point still stands!

Don't get me wrong...I'm not saying that you shouldn't trust anyone...but what I'm saying is that trust is a leap of faith. For example, a mother who can't swim promises her son that she's definitely gonna save him if he falls into the sea. If her son says that "I trust you with my life", then I would say that he's definitely lying...if not knowingly, then subconciously. Which is why I say trust is a leap of faith. A leap of faith produced by the bond between the mother and the son that establishes the so-called "TRUST". Say AMEN if you agree with me! Hehe..

Anyway, enough with the philosophy. The point of writing about this topic is because I start to realize that there are non-trustworthy people around me whom I am not aware of. Everyones lies...that's the fundamentals of life, which is why trust cannot be established in any ways. The fact of life is, parents lie to you, friends betray you, your partner cheats on you, your colleague stabs you in the back, your teacher molests you, your priest distorts the truth and preach to you, and strangers try to con you.

TO TRUST OR NOT TO TRUST? That is the question!

I was quite disappointed with a person over the past few days. I'm not going to go into details...but all I can say is that this person lied to me and he/she did a really terrible thing for which he/she didn't feel guilty about. I've known this person since forever and I cannot believe that he/she did this. The worst thing is that instead of apologizing sincerely, he/she tried to give all sorts of excuses for which I thought was bullshit, just to regain his/her trust from me and my anonymous associates.

And what's with this person with double identities anyways?? He/she says it's for business purposes, but if he/she can't even use his/her real name for business purposes, how can the other party trust him/her? It's like the fundamental aspect of the business is already a scam. How do you expect us to trust ppl like these? So from now on, I won't trust this person ever again. I'm not saying that I won't hang out with him/her again, but I definitely will never confide in her ever again. This friendship is done. I'm not being a drama queen...I just don't need ppl like these in my life terrorizing my mind. I've got a lot on my plate already...I don't need psychotic friends who try to seek attention by terrorizing other ppl's lives.

Anyway...I probably won't be seeing him/her for a really long time after I'm back in Sydney. So I'm not really stressing much about this matter. OMG...I miss Sydney so much. I miss the weather...the food...the people...my room...and my friends there. Gosh...I even miss school!! I can't wait to be back in action again. Although the past week of holiday had been quite interesting, hanging out with my family and friends...I kinda missed all the fun and action in the kitchen.

There's only a couple more days left of my holidays...so I'll try to enjoy as much as I can. Alright...gotta go now! See ya'll later. Cheers!

Jazz Night IV

2009-04-17T03:40:00.003+10:00

I went to see a jazz night performance tonight at Cube Restaurant and it was the fourth time that they've held this gig. The owner of the restaurant happened to be a friend of my brother's, and therefore I had the opportunity to see the show as it was meant to be a private event. If you've been living in KK, you'd know that there ain't many events as such and I'm glad that I've had the opportunity to attend a jazz night while vacationing in KK.

It was my first time in the restaurant/lounge and I thought the ambience was pretty impressive. I mean if I had a restaurant/bistro, it's gonna be similar to that. I liked the idea of displaying bottle of wines against the walls as well as the dim lights and theme. But no matter how fantasic the ambience is, the more important aspect is the quality of the food and service. I did not have dinner there...so I don't know how the food is like. However, the service seemed pretty professional from the way the waiters present themselves, as well as their wine service. So aside from the food for which I cannot comment on, I quite like the style of the restaurant. And when you add jazz music into the equation, it almost looked like the imaginations I have on my dream restaurant....except that it would be in a foreign country that serves fine dining food and the jazz music will only serve as an accompaniment, instead of a performance. I would focus more on the food...and the jazz music will only serve as a stimulus to enhance customers' dining experience in my dream restaurant.

I had a chef who always say that "Food and wine is like a marriage. You can't have one without the other." I totally agree with him but for me, I also feel that food and music complement each other and if you tell me what food you're eating, I'd be able to tell you what music you could listen to that complements it. You can disagree with me, but this is just my philosophy.

Anyway, the jazz night kicked off with an all-gurl band which I thought really sucked. Lol...no offence really...but I think they need to add a li'l more personality into their performance. They were just plain boring...and it wasn't even jazzy. I know I'm a jerk for being so critical...but I can't help it, especially that they killed one of my all time favorite song "Buses and Trains" by Bachelor Girl. It was supposed to be a jazz night but they didn't even jazz up that cover...come on gurls, you could do better than that.

Then it was followed by this malay jazz band and surprisingly, they were pretty good. It's like they know what they're doing and I didn't hear any mistakes at all from any of em, especially the guitarist. It's almost like they've played the songs 100 times before they perform on stage, which is great stuff...coz it's thru practice that makes perfect. I hate those freakin' arrogant ppl who think they can get by without practice. It's just like I hate those ppl who think they can pass an exam without studying for it. Anyway...that malay band was pretty cool.

Finally, the gist of the night...Teddy's band. I have no idea what his band is called but Teddy is the main guy and he plays the alto saxaphone. There were three other guys who played the acoustic guitar, bass and percussions. I gotta say...they were pretty awesome...but tonight was definitely not their best performance. Despite that, I still enjoyed it though...they played some really good covers and originals. But I really gotta admit that jazz is really complex and I was trying to figure out the chords that the guitarist played the whole night, but I just couldn't understand how the chords work. There's so many complex major seventh and minor seventh chords involved that I couldn't catch up with the stuff they were playing. My guitar teacher told me before that the mind has to work faster than the fingers...but I really have no idea how to do that, especially if the fingers are already moving 100 miles an hour...lol. Anyway, it's been a while since I've listened to live jazz, but I gotta admit that this one was pretty impressive. Not the best one I've seen, but definitely worth watching.

Throughout the night, a lot of things went on in my mind. So many ideas popped up and I was so full of it that I felt like writing em' down. Too bad I didn't have pen and paper. Since I'm writing my blog at the moment, I might as well jot them down here in my blog. These were the stuff that went on in my mind in the restaurant:

1. I'm going to tell my guitar teacher to teach me jazz or fingerstyle as soon as I get back to Sydney. If he can't teach me that, I will find someone else who can. I'm just so fuckin' sick of the blues. Blues can be quite depressing...lol.

2. I'm going to make it a point to attend at least one live gig a month, preferably jazz, to keep up with the music business as well as getting to know more musicians for future contacts. But first things first...I gotta find a viable jazz pub in sydney, which can be quite a difficult task. Australians are just not that into jazz.

3. I'm going to complete my business plan and menu for my dream restaurant for which I've started but have not yet completed. I might also start gathering any necessary information in regards to opening and running a restaurant such as financials, venues, interior designs, menu planning, etc so that this dream of mine will always remain real to me.

Basically, that's all the shit that went thru my mind throughout the night. Some of you might think that it's really weird of me to have these things going on in my brains...but this is what keeps me going on. Dreams...music...food...these are the stuff that keeps me going on and on. Without any of these, I would've been a really depressed person that would probably attempt to kill myself. Isn't that why ppl kill themselves?? There's no reason to live no more.

Anyway...it's getting really late now. I really should go to bed. I know I haven't been putting any photos lately...lol...laziness strikes again!! But I'll try to put some up as soon as I have any interesting ones. Even pictures of my idiotic dogs would be nice. Anyway...catch you later. Cheers.

Touchdown

2009-04-13T03:30:00.002+10:00

Hey guys, I'm back in KK....I touched down at KK airport on Saturday midnight. I gotta say, 11 hours of air travel ain't a bit of fun at all. When I bought my air ticket online, I got to choose my seat preferences and I picked the second last row because according to the seat plan, it had a void in between my seat and the one next to me. However, the two seats were actually right next to each other, just like the normal seats in front...and there was no space in between me and my neighbor. I should've known that it's just too good to be true.

To make things worse, the guy whom I sat next to was a bit chatty...and he tried to converse with me throughout the journey. I'm a bit anti-social when it comes to strangers...especially when they're middle aged French men who listen to Britney Spears. I mean...seriously?? Britney Spears???? Damn...it's really obvious that he's in a middle age crisis. Come on yeah....Britney spears???? Goshh...

Also, he kept leaning towards my side of the seat...and I got really annoyed coz he kept hogging the side arm space that separated our seats. I had to like lean over to the other side, away from him...coz there were a few times when he came pretty close and I just felt like telling him to back off. But I didn't say anything...and instead, I just kept fidgeting and raise my elbows to push him away from him. And I'm glad that he got the message.

Anyway...I was just so damn relieved when the plane touched down at KL international airport. I just couldn't wait to get off the plane. However, I still had another two and a half hour flight to catch from KL to KK. That flight was okay...coz there were only like 8 passengers in the Boeing 737 aircraft. So basically, I had like heaps of space and nobody was getting into my nerves. It was the first time that I boarded on a plane with less than 10 passengers.

When I was clearing customs in KL, the customs officer spoke to me in Malay. I totally froze and I had no idea how to reply. I mean, I totally understood her question, but I just couldn't seem to find the words to answer her in Malay. So instead, I answered in English...but she still insisted on speaking Malay to me. I just can't believe that I can't Malay as fluent as before anymore. I used to be really good in Malay...I get Aces for the subject in high school and I speak fluently without the Chinese accent...but now, I can't even complete a sentence without pausing...or adding a few english words to it. Five years in Sydney did this to me!!!

I saw my family when I came home. My brothers didn't exactly change much...except that Federick grew a few inches taller and maybe a couple wider...but he still had that small face which didn't really match his body size. Lol...it looked a bit funny. Mom was still lookin the same...maybe slightly older...but I guess nobody can run away from ageing. However, I was really surprised to see that my grandmother looked a lot older and weaker than before. I felt a little scared just by looking at her...coz it scares me that human beings grow old and when we are old, we become so weak and powerless. I just can't bear to imagine myself old, weak and powerless. I'd rather die! Really..

My dogs were pretty fine too! And OMG...Kimmy still remembers me! I love that dog soo much! She's my favorite dog among the three of them and I could feel that she remembers me, even though I was away for a year. Peanut is sooo cute too...I'm not sure if she remembers me but she sure has gained a few pounds. She couldn't even go through the fence anymore. And finally the undersized alpha-male dog, Butter, is still the same. He barks at absolutely everything and everyone. And his bark is soooo high-pitched and annoying. I really hate that dog. But I guess the feeling between us is kinda mutual...coz I could feel that he hates me too...lol!! He kept growling at me whenever he saw me. But who cares...I've got Kimmy and Peanut and they're awesome dogs!

To be honest, I still haven't encountered the culture shock yet, mainly becoz I haven't really gone out to the city yet...but I'm sure I will soon. I know I'm gonna feel really awkward and singled out...coz I really do feel like an outsider, even though I was born and brought up here. I don't have many friends in KK, except for the friends I went to high school with, and most of them are studying abroad. The ones who are in KK have jobs and so we could probably only meet up during weekends. So yeah, I guess I'm struggling for company here.

Anyway...I have to go now! I'll catch up with all of you soon! Til the next post, see ya later! Cheers!

It's been a long and bumpy ride, my fellow aspiring chefs!!

2009-04-09T00:12:00.004+10:00

Today was my last day in college in Intermediate cuisine, and for some reason I felt a little sad. It's really weird coz I've always wanted this semester to end as quickly as possible...but when it actually ended, I felt like I'm gonna miss it. After all, I did have lots of great memories with my fellow classmates as well as my chefs.

Zalfa, Sally, Roberto, Pedro, Polyanna, Nathalie, Ted, Ray, Kay, Katie, David, Park and Jamie. These were all my classmates since Basic cuisine...and I gotta say, they've been really awesome as each of them has played their little parts in making my college days very interesting, motivating and entertaining.

Zalfa's always been good with flavors and experimenting with different recipes. She's not afraid to try new things and to learn thru trial and error. This is something I could learn from her...coz I've always been afraid to attempt anything that might lead to a failure.

Sally...there's only one speed that she knows and that's FAST!!! She's like this Road Runner woman that always seem to be the first person to serve the dishes. She moves like lightning and works like a machine. I love it when she works next to me, coz I tend to work a whole lot faster. She sorta sets the pace for me...and I try to match her pace all the time...and everytime I try, I end up serving my dishes on time. Her speed is like a disease...i caught it all the time! lol..

Roberto is just this really funny dude...he's like the class clown. Normally class clowns are never good in class work...but believe it or not, he's like one of the best in my class. He always sets a standard for the class and he might not know that I have actually attempted to meet those standards. I believe that my drastic improvements have a lot to do with competing with those standards.

Pedro...oh am I gonna miss him. Unfortunately, he ain't gonna be with us next semester. However, he's also one of the experience ones in my class. He always makes us taste his food...lol...I remember when he was next to me in class, he always asks me to taste his sauce. Unsurprisingly, it's always better than mine. Not many ppl know this, but I've actually improved my sauces by observing they way he makes his sauces.

Polyanna...the only thing I recall about her is when she accidentally burned her workflow on the stove. And that happened today...and I thought it was kinda funny...coz there are lot of things you can burn in a kitchen, but a piece of paper just doesn't seem to fit in to a typical kitchen scenario. But that poor girl had to continue cooking without the workflow for her reference.

Nathalie...omg, this girl is like the stress machine. She takes everything so seriously and stressfully in class that even by looking at her, I become stressed out too. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that it's a bad thing...in fact, I think it's a good thing to be stressed out about what you do, coz that means you really care and love what you do. If not, would you even care to stress about it?? She reminds me that cooking is something that I care about...and there's all the reason in the world to be stressed out about. Oh did I mention that she rides a bike and she's one of the reason why I'm considering to learn it!! But also mainly becoz of the "cool factor"...lol.

Ted is the only Korean guy that I feel knows what he's doing. He's really new to French food...but man, does he learn fast. His learning curve is always going on an upward direction, unlike some of us. He improves little by little as the course goes by. Some of us becomes stagnant at some point of time, but he's really consistent. BTW, he looks like that Korean singer called RAIN. Lol..and he likes it whenever I tell him that.

Ray Lee...he's this macho looking Korean dude with an extremely fair skin and built body. I love the way he speaks coz he always has that UMMPHHH in his voice. He's also very gentleman as he always helps me to carry some of the heavy items. Not like I couldn't handle it...but u know, I let the man do a man's job!

Kay...gosh, wat kinda name is that?? I always tease him bout his name. He's only joined my class this semester so I don't know much about him, except that he demands me to call him "OPPA", which is like a polite and respectful way of calling someone older than I am in the Korean culture. And I never did call him that...and I told him that it was becoz I don't respect him. Well...I really don't!!

Katie...she's pretty quiet in class...but I remember one time when she saw a huge cockroach on the hallway, she was so shocked and was like shrieking in a high-pitched voice. Lol...that was really funny, coz the cockroach wasn't even that big, but she kept insisting that it was really big. Seriously, I don't know why I remember these things!

David...he's of African-Asian descent and he was born in Singapore. He's got dark skin and he understands Chinese. That is just freakin' awesome! Anyway...I always see him as an artist, coz I saw him one time during demo, drawing a really nice picture on piece of paper. From then on, I tried observing his dish presentation in class and it's always very abstract and creative. However, not all the time that the chefs approve of his presentation, but for some reason, I've always liked it.

As for Jamie, he's also a very quiet and low profiled guy in class. He's really good in his presentation....his dish always look very pretty and creative. He's also very gentleman as he tends to help me unload heavy items...once again...not like I couldn't handle it. Hehe..

Finally...Park...believe it or not, I've never actually had a proper conversation with him. He's such a quiet guy...and a bit mysterious too. Anyway, he's kinda like the weakest link in our class....but he has improved so damn much. Chefs like to pick on him...sometimes I pity the guy.

As for me, I'm just VeRoN most of the time. I like to mind my own business and keep a low profile. I don't like to get involved in things that I don't give a shit about. However, I have a very bad habit of always being in the third person's point of view. I like to see things on a clear angle by distancing myself with people and issues...and just try to keep everything real. I'm very much an observer....and I learn best thru observation, which is why I always tend to analyze ppl's behaviors and try to use it to my advantage.

If you've read til this far, I hope I didn't bore you yet. I'm just dedicating this blog post to all of my classmates who've been with me from the beginning until now. Not many of them know that each and every single one em' has contributed to my improvement in their own li'l strange ways.

However, it's the chefs who I really need to thank....Chef Ross, Chef Anita, Chef Andreas and Chef Mark. It's such a shame that I've always been a person who doesn't make a habit of thanking other ppl for the things they've done for me. I know I really should thank my chefs in person...but I wasn't brought up in a free expression environment, which kinda makes me a mute when it comes to expressing myself....I guess that's why I write blogs. I really wanted to approach Chef Ross today and thank him in person bout all the stuff that I've learned from him. I wanted to tell him that he's such a role model...and it'd be awesome if we could have him as our restaurant chef next semester. But of course...me being me...I just ran thru those words in my mind, but it never came outta my mouth.

I also wanted to thank Chef Anita for being our practical chef from the beginning. She was kinda like our "mother" chef coz she's been with us since Basic. She's taught us from cutting juliennes and brunoise of vegetables up to serving a full three-course meal. I mean...that really is something, innit? I know I haven't exactly been a big fan of hers, especially during the time when she picked on me, but after all, she played a major role in my culinary education and I putting all other things aside, I really am grateful for her.

It really has been a long and bumpy ride...I've just fulfilled the final check point and the next thing ahead of me is the finishing point. I could already see the finishing line, but in between me and the finishing line is a whole lot of hurdles that I gotta jump through before getting there. Honestly, I cannot wait to get there...I just can't!!!

So..I'll be back in KK in a couple of day's time. I'm having mixed feelings about this homecoming. I know from the beginning that it's not the wisest decision to go back home in between Intermediate and Superior..coz I don't wanna get distracted...but i guess it's something that I have to do. Coz after this trip back home, there's a big possibility that I won't be going back for a very long time.

Anyway...I should really stop now. Cheers buddies!

Passed with Flying Rainbow Colors

2009-04-02T17:43:00.005+11:00

Finally, exams are over and I just cannot express how relieved I am. I did pretty well this time in both theory and practical. I've definitely made improvements since Basic's exam last term, although I wouldn't be able to know until a month's time, however I'm pretty confident that I would get at least a Credit this time, instead of the miserable Pass that I had last term. If I don't, I'm probably gonna shoot myself in the head. Really!

According to Chef Vito, he really liked my main and dessert...but to be honest, I didn't think it was that awesome. Lol...I thought it was just "okay", coz there was nothing special about my dishes. The presentation was simple. So maybe the flavor was good...but then again, I have a hard time trusting people's opinions...especially good comments. Sometimes, I'm just so unconfident that I don't believe in my capabilities. It's just like guitar. My guitar teacher always compliments me for my skills (though he hasn't been lately..haha), but I never once took his word for it. I always have second doubts about it. I have a couple of theories....it's either I'm really unconfident of myself, or I have way too much expectations of myself that I keep pushing away all the good stuff about myself and keep embracing on the bad stuff. I don't know if it's good or bad....but one thing for sure, in order to be the best of the best, you cannot stop progressing just becoz someone praised or criticized you. You gotta set your own standards and try to exceed them. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that you should ignore feedback...I just mean that what other people say about you is not the most important...it's what you think of yourself.

Okay, I'll stop with the philosophy now. Pardon me but I have a bad habit of ending each paragraph with my philosophy...haha. Anyway, something serious occurred yesterday on Anzac Bridge. It wasn't published on the newspapers today, therefore I believe it's something really major and the government is probably refraining the details of the incident. While I was driving to college yesterday, there was a really bad traffic jam along the bridge to the north. I thought it might be an accident or something...but I never thought that it's something I've dreamt of witnessing (I know I'm weird). I believe there was a "threat" of some kind. I wouldn't be able to confirm the details of this incident, but based on all the spy movies that I've watched, that incident was definitely federal related.

There was team of SWAT officers that consists of 6-7 of them, at least 4-5 police rescue trucks and 5-6 police cars. I actually saw the SWAT officers in their full gear...armour, guns, etc. It was definitely something big. I was really curious about the incident that I tried googling about it, but there were no results shown. So I believe that the government hasn't issued a press regarding that incident yet. Despite the excitement of witnessing this incident, I was kinda pissed off too coz I was stuck in traffic for half an hour and I was 20 minutes late to class. And it was Chef Ross' class...my favorite chef!!

I practically ran to class after I parked my car. And you know what happened after I entered class?? Just out of the blue, everybody started clapping their hands and cheering. I was like, "What the fuck?" I was so freakin' confused...I thought I was gonna be awarded the best student in class or something like that....HAHAHA. I looked at chef with my confused face...and he just looked at me and laughed. I mean...if he was laughing at me, then there must be something fishy goin' on. So in the end, I found out that most of the students came late as well and Chef was saying to the class that whoever comes in late, we should clap and cheer at them just to make them feel embarassed. Lol....that is so contrary to the feeling I had...I actually felt good when they cheered at me...haha. It was as if I just performed a really good gig and my audience were giving me a standing ovation and asking for an encore.

At the end of the class, I stayed back to help Chef Ross clean up the kitchen. Zalfa stayed back too and she was chatting away with Chef. Me and Zalfa have always wanted to ask Chef about the music he listens to...coz according to Zalfa, I like to pigeon hole people according to their taste in music. I disagreed with her at first...but now that I think about it...it's kinda true. One of the very first questions that I ask ppl that I've just met is their music preference. Because Chef Ross is such an interesting character, I was curious as to what music he listens to, but never had the guts to ask him. So this is where Zalfa comes into the picture...

Zalfa was like, "Chef, can we ask you something that has absolutely nothing to do with cooking?"

Chef was like, "Erm...okay." He sounded so reluctant..

Zalfa then said, "What music do you listen to? Coz me and veron made a bet about this and we really wanna know. Also, Veron is like a music expert and she plays guitar...and she pigeon holes people according to their music tastes."

OMG...I was like...Damn it Zalf...I don't pigeon hole ppl according to their music tastes. And chef was looking at me...a bit surprised...and he was like, "Really, veron?" I felt a little embarassed at the moment, so I took some pots to the wash up area which is segregated by a door. Zalfa and Chef continued their conversation...and I had no idea what they talked about until Zalfa told me about it after we left the demo kitchen. Basically, the conversation went like this:-

Chef: To be honest, I'm not really big on music.

Zalfa: Oh no...Ssshhh...you can't let Veron know about this coz she'll be very disappointed.

(When Zalfa told me about this, I was basically laughing my ass off.)

Chef: Ohh...oops...but I like the guitar though. He was actually trying to play along and try to make me feel less disappointed.

So when I came out of the wash up area, I asked Chef what his favorite band was...and the funny thing was, he couldn't even name one. He was like stammering and I could feel that he was trying so hard to come up with a band name. Lol. Coz I was kinda looking at him with hopeful eyes and you could see that he didn't wanna disappoint me. HAHAHA...it's really hilarious.

In the end, he told us that he listens to 80s rock....and I was really glad that he said that. Coz I'd like to know that there are some similarities between us....coz when I look up to someone, I wanna know that there's something that the both of us share. It's like Kiefer Sutherland....I totally idolize him and I'm constantly trying to find similarities between us.

So I was like naming bands from the 80s....like AC/DC, Guns and Roses, Mr Big, Bon Jovi, etc....and I was trying to seek approval from him. He just kept saying..."yeah I like them....they're great...etc." But somehow, I felt that he was just trying to agree with me...just to make me happy. Lol. So now I know that he's not a very music-oriented person....but hey, he's still a hell of CHEF and he is still awesome to me!! I just hope that in the future, I'd be able to work for someone as passionate and skillful as him. *fingers crossed*

So...one more week to go and I'm done with Intermediate. I just can't believe how time flies. In a few weeks time, I would be in Superior...and things will start getting more real and in your face. To be honest, I'm really nervous about Superior...coz we have restaurant duties and we have to cook for real customers. It would be my first time ever cooking for real customers...and I'm kinda looking forward to it, but nervous at the same time. I'm sure it would be a great experience for me...and I can't wait for the start of next term. I'm just so motivated at the moment that I wish we're not gonna have the two weeks of break and just start on the Superior course right away. I'm really lovin' it...

Anyway, I gotta go now. I'll catch you guys later. Have fun! Cheers!

Juggling between two passions

2009-03-26T23:04:00.004+11:00

Hello my fellow subscribers! Once again, I've come to haunt your blog reading days. I know I haven't been updating my blog as regularly as I would've wanted to, but hey at least I write long and winding posts to make up for my lack of update. Anyway, I really shouldn't be writing too much on this one, coz I really should be spending this time to practise for my guitar lesson tomorrow....which kinda leads me to this thought. I've kinda been slacking a lot with my guitar playing these days...and I feel like I've hit a wall in my guitar skills.

As some of you may know, I take guitar lessons every Friday from this awesome guitar teacher called Harry. So I usually practise on Thursday and Friday mornings before I go for the lesson and some occasional Saturdays when I have absolutely no plans for the day. I don't normally practise on Mondays-Wednesdays because I've got school on those days...and it's always very hectic throughout those three days.

So my problem is, I've been really lazy over the past few weeks that I keep procrastinating when it comes to guitar practice. I keep postponing it and do other stuff (like writing this post). I feel like I'm somehow losing my edge...and I'm just so de-motivated to practise. I was never like that before....I usually get really psyched before my lessons...and I always practise for hours to eliminate any errors in my playing. But gosh...it just wasn't like that for the past few weeks, and I feel like I'm throwing my money away.

I've been asking myself why...and I've come up with a few reasons. One, I've just been really lazy to the point where I just sit down in front of my computer everyday and watch whatever shit I can find in my archives of movies and tv shows.Two, I'm not learning the stuff that I want, such as fingerstyle and jazz. I'm actually learning a whole lot of Blues atm...not that I don't like it...but I'm starting to get really sick of it. Three, my guitar playing days are going no where. What I basically mean is that, there's no direction in my guitar learning...I just take lessons for the sake of it and it's not like I'm taking lessons to play in a band or something like that. And finally, I'm starting to realize that my career path is pointing to the direction the kitchen instead of the music biz, and therefore I'm starting to focus all my thoughts and energy into becoming a chef and not a musician.

I guess I'm just really de-motivated at the moment....I'm just one of those people who is infected with "middle child syndrome"where self-motivation just isn't one of my traits. So I'm a person who constantly needs people around me to motivate and push me to my limits. And lately I really need a big push coz I've just been stagnant with everything going on in my life....except for my savings account which is kinda going on a downwards slope as time goes by. So I guess I could really use some positive words of encouragement from people time to time. It's weird...coz most people would think that I'm a gurl who doesn't care what people say about me....but you'd be surprised to know that I really do care what ppl say about me....but only the good stuff though. As for the bad stuff, I'd probably ask them to "FCUK OFF"!!

Remember in my previous posts where I wrote about becoming both a chef and a musician?? Well...I'm starting to think that it's impossible...and I really gotta pick one and focus on it as soon as possible. Now, I've started to develop a habit of writing down the pros and cons of two situations that gives me a dilemma. So here it goes...

Pros of becoming a chef
1. Lots of job opportunities.
2. I'm passionate about food and cooking and it's definitely something that I love doing.
3. Career path is more stable and certain.
4. Traveling opportunities.
5. Contributes to my dream of opening up a restaurant in the future.
6. High level of work satisfaction.

Cons of becoming a chef
1. Extremely competitive environment.
2. Very stressful and busy job environment.
3. Male-dominant industry.
4. My social life would definitely go down the drain...especially with the long hours of work and working on weekends and holidays.
5. It takes at least 8 years to climb to the top of the chain.
6. Lousy salary and did I mention long hours of work??

Pros of becoming a musician
1. I am passionate, skillful, confident and talented in this field, as compared to cooking.
2. Music is a relaxing and therapeutic activity for me.
3. I could get rich and famous overnight (ha-ha).
4. The lack of famous female guitarists (especially fingerstyle guitarists) gives me an opportunity to shine amongst the needles in a haystack.
5. High levels of job satisfaction.
6. More consistent working hours and more fun times!

Cons of becoming a musician
1. Career path is extremely volatile and uncertain.
2. Highly dependable on contacts within the music biz, which can be difficult to form.
3. Job opportunities are minimal.
4. Salary could be millions of dollars if you're famous....or it could be zilch, when you don't get gigs. So it's extremely unpredictable.

It all becomes very clear to me when I lay it out like that, y'know. It allows me to scrutinize each point and set my priorities. However, this is just a guideline for me...it doesn't mean that I'm gonna make my decision solely based on this pros and cons list. Also, I don't believe I have the ability to predict my future...I can only influence a big part of it based on the decisions that I make....sometimes, good things swing by (like winning a lottery ticket) and sometimes bad stuff get in the way (like this economic recession). So what I'm trying to say is...I'm trying to go with the flow...and at this moment, it seems like the flow is pointing towards the kitchen, instead of the glamorous stage.

Anyway...I really should get going and practise my guitar (even though I don't really feel like it). I'll catch up with you guys later. Cheers.

P/S: DAmn it...I gotta practise this song called "It hurts me too" by John Mayall and I don't even like that freakin' song. ARGGHHHHH.....

ROBERTO, STOP READING MY BLOG!!!!

2009-03-19T00:45:00.005+11:00

You wanna know what happened today?? Today, I officially lost my privacy to write freely on my blog. There's this guy in my class called Roberto (I know you're reading this, Bob), he discovered the existence of my blog when he googled "Smoked Salmon Fant***a". Sorry I don't wanna disclose the entire name of the dish because I don't want anyone in my school to google it and stumble upon my blog. If you remember, there's a picture of the dish in my previous post....and I can't believe that it got me busted. As most of you would know, this blog is kept within a loop of a few close friends only. So now...I can't mention any names from my college no more...I'm gonna have to use code names from now on...lol.

It's funny how it happened. Roberto just came to me during demo today and said, "Veron, I've got a confession to make." LOL....first thing that came into my mind was....Oh no, does he like me or something? (Yes Roberto...I really had that in mind). Basically, I got caught off guard and I was totally freaking out, coz I remembered writing lots of things about college and I did mention lots of names. I was really worried that I incriminated anyone with bad comments or something....and most importantly, I remember writing something about him...but I forgot if it was good or bad. (Note to Roberto: It was actually a very flattering comment...but I decided to delete it....i don't wanna give you the satisfaction..MuAhahahahha)

When I came home from college tonight, I quickly switched on my computer and accessed my blog archives and screened thru all the posts that I've written and made sure that I didn't write anything incriminating anybody in college in a bad way. As I read posts to posts....I reminisced the incidents that occurred in the past 6 months...and I realized that I've grown so much. I'm not talking bout growing physically...oh hell I wish that happened....but what I meant was mentally. I realized that I see things very differently now...and I even stopped swearing. I mean I minimized it...trust me...no chef could survive without swearing. Most importantly, I realized that I had less bad days since I quit my job...and I actually became more relaxed and calm. I guess the Stamford job really had a big impact on my emotions and mental state. At first, I had some doubts as to whether I've made a mistake by quitting that job during an economic recession, especially since unemployment is getting worse....but after reading my previous posts, I realized that it was the right choice, and I had to get outta that depressing shithole to move on with my life.

Reading my blog archives was like reading my diary. It makes you reminisce and laugh about what you did. I totally laughed my ass off when I read about the bad practical lessons I had in the Basic course...and I can't believe that I thought Chef Anita picked on me becoz she hated me. Lol...she ain't that bad....she's actually pretty cool. Another one that made me laugh was the attitude that I brought into the kitchen when I was in Basic course. I can't believe I was such a nervous wreck before...I mean I was literally stressed out about things like being the last to serve in class, being one of the least experienced student in class, and not being able to sort of "shine" in class as much as I would've liked to.

LOL...it's really funny coz now that I'm in Intermediate...I don't even care about all these things no more. I don't care if I'm the last, as long as my food is awesome. I don't care if I'm the least experienced in class, as long as I show extra passion. And finally I don't even care if I don't "shine" as much as I'd like to as long as I've put all my effort and tried my best. And you know what??? This attitude works sooooo much better. I mean really....this semester, I'm no longer the last one to finish and my food is so much more awesome than before. Even my pastry skills have improved...lol. Remember the puff pastry incident last year?? The one where I failed twice in one day?? That was a train wreck.

Another thing I realized was how many times I mentioned in my blog that quitting Uni and entering culinary school was the best decision I've made in my life. I think I might've mentioned it 3 or more times. And guess what?? That comment still stands six months later....I've never regretted it ever...not even for a second. I knew that quitting Uni would mean that I could never graduate in a gown and wear the square hat, where my family would come over to Sydney and see me graduate and take graduation pictures of me (not that I actually long for it anyway...but thats not the point). And also I might be jeopardizing my future by not attaining a university degree....however, I've decided that being a chef is way more gratifying for me, and that I believe that I would be way happier taking this career path. I know I could never get filthy rich by being a chef...but to be honest, that's not my major goal in life. I gotta admit that I still haven't figured out life comprehensively, but one thing for sure, I don't see myself in a business attire, sitting down in an office in front of a computer typing stuff and making phone calls in the future. HELL NO!!! I'd rather be sweaty, get my hands dirty and cook in the kitchen for the rest of my life.

I also remember how I've always idolized Gordon Ramsay before I started this course. He was like my sole inspiration to become a chef. I've always thought he was awesome...and that I'd like to be like him one day. LOL...it made me laugh when I thought about it. Gordon Ramsay is not that great...I mean...my chefs can do all the things he does. Some can even do better than Ramsay. He just happens to be a lucky guy who got married to a woman whose family has money to invest in him. I can quite confidently say that Chef Steve is way more knowledgeable than him....and Chef Ross is equally as good as him in knife skills. And they don't even need to yell and swear to get us to do things the right way. I was so naive before to think that Gordon Ramsay is the best...LOL....where in fact he's just an over-rated celebrity chef who just got lucky. I guess TV has a way of leading my thoughts...I watched way too much of Gordon Ramsay shows before...lol.

So my exams are coming up in 2 weeks time. To be honest, I'm not feeling nervous at all...i guess it just hasn't hit me yet. Either that or I'm way more confident this time. I'm leaning towards more to the first one. Anyway...I've got nothing more to report. To those in KK....I hope to see ya'll soon...make sure u guys spend time with me while I'm back...if not, I'm never ever gonna come back again. LOL...yes it's an ultimatum. Spend time with me, or you'll never see me again! hehe...

Zalfa, if you're reading this...hope you've enjoyed my blog. I just remembered that I wrote a comprehensive piece about you in one of my previous posts....the one where I mentioned Ross is the boss. LOL. Anyway...nice chat with you today at McDonald's....sorry I broke your record.

Alright....tata for now!! Cheers!

Intermediate French Cuisine

2009-03-06T01:06:00.004+11:00

The past few days had been surprisingly easy. I guess it's becoz instead of cooking individually, my chefs allowed us to cook in groups of two, which significantly reduced our workload. I discovered something about myself over the past few days. I find myself working so much better in a group rather than individually. It's really weird...coz when I was still in Uni, I had so much trouble working in groups. I never really wanted to put much effort in group assignments and most of the grades that I got from group assignments are only average. So I was kinda surprised at myself when I actually enjoyed the group effort during practical classes.

On Wednesday, I had one of the best demo lessons ever. Chef Ross was our demo teacher and he was just totally AWESOME!!! It was definitely one of the busiest demo that he had to show, coz there were like 3 recipes that needed to be made and he was all on his own. Plus, that lesson was really technical coz there were so many skills involved, such as cutting precision vegetable cuts, making pastry, cutting up and deboning the pheasant and presentation skills. All these procedures were very technical and time-consuming...but man...Chef Ross made it all look so damn easy. He's the type of chef that makes you feel proud of choosing this career path. He is such an inspiration to me...and the stuff he does just keeps motivating me all the time. Sometimes you'd even find my jaw wide open....coz I really am in awe!! I'm telling ya...he's definitely my role model and I really wish that he could teach all three demos that we have. He really is the "Chef Awesome."

However, Chef Ross got a little pissed off towards the end of the demo and it's all the Korean clique's fault. These people can be so rude and greedy sometimes, and it makes us all Asians look so bad. Okay this is what happened. When Chef Ross removed the sponge cake from the oven, he cut the cake up into small pieces. He hasn't even plated the cake yet, and these bunch of Koreans just helped themselves with the cake while Chef Ross has his back turned for a couple of seconds. When Chef turned around and saw them all grabbing the cake with their hands, he got so pissed off and yelled at them. He was like, "Hey what are you doing...it's not ready yet. Come on guys...I haven't even plated the cake yet and you guys are already trying to help yourselves. How could you guys be so rude?"

And you know what they did? They just giggled amongst themselves and didn't even apologize. OMG...it was just so rude. I couldn't help it but I kinda felt like I was implicated too....coz u know, they're Asians and I'm Asian too...I just felt so embarrassed. I mean seriously...these ppl gotta learn some manners. I could let that go...coz I thought that maybe they're just too anxious to taste that delicious sponge cake that Chef Ross had baked. Fine...I could totally let that go. But u know what happened next? After Chef Ross has plated the cake, he announced that whoever has already taken a piece of the cake just now shouldn't have another piece coz there's not enough for everyone to taste, and that we should share a piece between 2-3 ppl. But still, they totally ignored him and they went for their second serving. And u know what? I saw this Korean girl took about 3-4 slices of the cake to share amongst her 3 friends...and u're not supposed to do that, coz Chef has already said to share one piece between 2 or 3 ppl becoz there's not enough for everyone. And in the end, me and my group of friends never got to taste it becoz by the time we were in front of the queue, the cake's gone.

I'm telling ya, I don't like to stereotype people and their culture...but sometimes it's difficult not to. U know, I just talk about what I see. I mean really, Asians can be so freakin' rude, selfish and greedy. Freakin' Koreans man....for shit's sake....they bow to each other when they greet to show respect and manners....but when it's time to eat, they eat like hungry ghosts that haven't eaten in centuries. Don't u think that it's so paradoxical?? It's all so superficial man...I guess that's why I could never hang out with them.

I could totally understand if these people come from a small village where it's all still under-developed and uncivilized. But DUDE...it's freakin' Korea man....and most of them are from the big cities like Seoul and Suwon!! Where the bloody hell are their freakin' manners??? I mean I'm from a small town called Kota Kinabalu, where some idiotic ppl still think we live on trees, have better manners than these ppl who live in big developed cities like Seoul?? To make it worse...some of them are actually in their late 20s and early 30s. Unbelievable?? Well, believe it!!

I guess I'll stop bad-mouthing the Koreans now...lol. I'm sorry...I really don't mean to stereotype...but like I said...I say what I see. Anyway...here are some pictures of the food that I made last week and the past three days.

This dessert is called Tulip Basket with Lemon Cream topped with strawberries. As you can see, the base is shaped like a Tulip basket...and the inside is filled with lemon cream and fresh strawberries. The texture of the tulip basket is actually similar to those chinese fortune cookies...in fact...they might be exactly the same, which is why the biscuit base can be shaped into any shapes that you like.
This is a traditional French fish stew called "Bouillabaise". It's got 8 different varieties of fish in there, plus mussels and scampies. Very delicious dish.
This dish is called "Stuffed Squid a la Provencale." It's basically squid with stuffing and it's half braised in a nice refreshing sauce. I personally love this dish very much.
This is a puff pastry dish with marinated tuna inside it.
I thought this was kinda cute...it's just puff pastry shaped like a giant leaf with scallops inside. I didn't make this....Chef made it during demo.
This is definitely the highlight dish of the week. This is "Pheasant breasts in puff pastry with truffle sauce." This is one of my favorite dish of all time. The pheasant breasts are wrapped around in a piece of crepe and then wrapped around with puff pastry. Then it's baked in the oven until cooked. And the sauce is magnificent...or at least the one that I made. Lol..
This is actually a cold soup called "Gazpacho Andalouse." Yes it's a cold and refreshing soup. It's got capsicums, tomatoes, spanish onions, garlic, cucumbers and tomato juice blended together. It sounds disgusting...but it's actually very tasty.
Same thing...but served in a martini glass.
This dish is called "Brandade of Cod and Leek with Garlic Cream." It's basically just mash potato with flakes of cod fish mixed together. This dish was way too salty...coz whoever marinated the fish put way too much salt.

Good news or bad news first?

2009-03-04T00:37:00.003+11:00

Obviously, I've got some news to break. Research says that majority of people prefer hearing bad news first over good news, which is why I will break the bad news first.

I will not be going back to KK in July. There is no way that I could go back during that month, because it's going to be a very crucial and chaotic time for me. There's gonna be a couple of vital decisions to make that will affect a major part of my career and future. I will not go into details....because talking about it would just make my headache even worse than the one I'm having at the moment (my insomnia is kinda back to haunt me again). So this is the bad news.

Now for the good news....I will be back in KK on the 11th April 2009. WuAkakakKAkaka....GOTCHA!!! So yeah...I will be back sooner than you know...lol...it's next month. I kinda made a really random decision to come back earlier than planned. Firstly, I got a really cheap fare, and secondly, I'm jobless and thus have no work commitments that usually prevents me from going back. But the main reason is because July would be a very bad time for me to take time off...so I thought instead of postponing it, why not just go back earlier? So is this great news or what??

I will be back for exactly 2 weeks...I know...it's gonna be a short one, but it's not the quantity that counts, it is always the QUALITY...which is why I'm gonna plan my trip extensively. I don't wanna just stay at home all the time like what I've always done previously....I'm gonna try to make full use of my time in KK...whether it's going out with friends and family, or just trying new things. But then again....there's not many things to do in KK. But u know...I'll try my best anyway. Maybe I'll cook for my family everyday...lol....my grandma can finally retire. But brace yourself...I'm only good at french cuisine...and maybe a little touch of Italian. But I would totally suck in any type of Asian cuisine~! Such a shame...I'm Asian and I cook French food...lol. Maybe someday I'll create a malaysian french fusion....OMG...that would be freakin' awesome!!

So that's gonna be all for today's post. I'm kinda having a headache at the moment...so I don't really feel like talking much. Anyway...I hope that for those who are gonna be in KK during my short trip back will try to spend some time with me. Coz I have a great feeling that I won't be coming back to KK as often as I'd like to....coz I'm gonna be starting my career as a chef very very soon....and in order to be successful in this industry, sacrifices will need to be made. But you know...u guys could always come visit...hehe....with open arms!! Alright...talk to you guys later....see ya!

Slumdog

2009-02-23T01:19:00.004+11:00

Okay...so today I did the most random thing. I was streaming for this movie called "Slumdog Millionaire" and as I was watching the first few minutes of the movie, I didn't enjoy it, mainly becoz it wasn't as clear as I would've liked it to be. But the movie seemed so exciting, even from the beginning. I couldn't bear it, so I checked the cinema times on The Ritz website and there was a 3:45pm show. I looked at the time...it was 3.30pm...and without even flinching for a second, I took my keys and some money, stormed out of the door and power-walked to the cinema. It's just a 5-10 minute walk from my place. I purchased one ticket for myself and entered Cinema 4 and took the most centre seat on the third row from the front. Everyone was like filling the seats at the back....but to me, the seats from the third row to the fifth row have the best view....anything other than those, I don't like.

The movie was excellent....I couldn't believe that I didn't even wanna watch it at the first place when I first heard of the movie. I loved the concept of it....where the plot actually walks thru the life of the protagonist. Plus, it really portrayed the lives of the unfortunate ppl a.k.a. slums living in India....which is really sad. It's one of those movies where it makes you feel grateful for your life the way it is. Anyway, I highly recommend that movie....it's a MUST WATCH!!

Here are some more photos of the food that I made in class and at home as well.

This dish is called "Pot au feu" which literally means Pot on fire! It's a very traditional French braising dish where all the ingredients are chucked into a big pot and braised for a few hours to extract all the flavor. Very simple dish....but really delicious.
This dish is called "Saute of Chicken Basque" which is originally from the Basque region in France. It's basically just a whole chicken cut into 8 pieces and is half-stewed in a sauce that consists of red and green peppers, garlic, onions tomatoes and brown chicken stock. Again, very simple dish but very tasty! It's the kind of dish you would eat during a cold winter's day.
This is my version of Bangers and Mash! For those of you who don't know what bangers and mash is, it's basically just sausage and mash potato. It's just the English/Aussie way of saying it. I made this dish at home....it has nothing to do with my classwork. The sausages are Spanish Chorizos...and I topped it with a serve of caramelized onions and a mushroom gravy. To be honest, I wasn't happy with the quality of the Spanish Chorizos...which is why I will never go back to that Deli again. But other than that, it was a simple but delicious Aussie dish.
This is a slice of the Warm Apple Tart that I made in school. The filling is what they called "Frangipane" and it's definitely one of my favorite sweet fillings. I don't usually fancy sweets, but this I like. And it is topped with thinly sliced apples.
Last but not least, the "Honeyed Pear Flan". This would be my favorite dessert that we've made so far. The filling is just diced pear caramelized in honey and sugar. This dessert just melts in your mouth....really!!

I really do enjoy simple food....I don't like complex flavors blended into one dish...and many chefs do make the mistake of turning their dishes into very complicated mix of flavors. I really just like the ingredients speak for themselves...instead of chefs trying to hard to mingle ingredients together. Anyway...it's getting late now and I gtg....I'll write more about food in another post one day, when I have the mood. Cheers!

When one door shuts, another BIGGER one opens....

2009-02-14T00:17:00.007+11:00

I guess I can say that this week hasn't been good for me....or at least for the beginning of the week. But nevertheless, I've been having quite a lot of fun with my friends in school....especially on Wednesdays. Wednesdays are always great for me....coz A, it's sort of like TGIF for me, since it's the last day of class for the week. And B, my favorite chef, Chef Ross, teaches Demo on that day. So it's always awesome to have him around. I totally adore him....he's got flair and elegance when he teaches Demo....he's totally THE MAN.

I have this friend called Zalfa and she's really quite a comic. She's a lot older than I am...like about 37 years old...but for some reason, we seem to get along very well together, although we're like total opposites. She's really tall, slim and hot....and I'm like short, fat and cool (i wasn't gonna say ugly...I have way more integrity than that..lol). She's so much into dance music, especially hip hop and trance...whereas I'm totally anti all of those crap music. She's this really warm and loving individual who is just a dear...and I'm like this really cold and ignorant person who is just plain evil. Lol...Bottom line is, you can see that one's from heaven and the other one's from hell.

Anyway...she has a habit of saying what's on her mind...without thinking much about the implications of what she's actually saying. So while we were in the change rooms after the Demo, we talked about Chef Ross being a really great teacher. And she thinks that Chef Ross has the charisma to run his own cooking show...and I was like, "Why're you telling me? Go and tell Chef!" And she was just like..."Yeah, you're absolutely right. I'm gonna go tell him!" I was like...OMG..she didn't actually take me seriously. I mean I was totally joking about telling chef.

So she went back to the Demo room and approached Chef Ross. This was how the conversation was like:- (I was just behind her...trying to keep myself from laughing my ass off)

Zalfa: Chef, have you ever thought of starting your own cooking show?

Chef: What? A cooking show?? No...

Zalfa: It's just that I think you'd be great on TV...I mean you're always so organized and elegant when you teach us...like everything is just in its place. (At this point of time, she sounded a bit flirty and she was coming on too strong but she just didn't realize it....but I did...LOL!!)

(Chef's face was a little flushed...and you could tell that he totally didn't know how to respond to that!)

Chef: *ranting* Oh yeah...really?? Hahaha....thank you!

Zalfa: I even thought of a name for your cooking show!! It'll be called "ROSS IS THE BOSS!"

(At this point, I just couldn't take it anymore and just laughed my ass off...and you could totally see that Chef was totally clueless as to how to respond.)

Chef just laughed at what Zalfa just said, but didn't say anything after that. But somehow, I could tell that his mind was saying:-

Chef' mind: "What the hell is this woman trying to indicate? Is she flirting with me? I'm a little confused...maybe I should just laugh and she'll go away."

OMG...that was the most randomest thing I've ever seen someone do. Lol...and I totally love it~!! The funny thing was....I had to tell Zalfa that she actually sounded a bit flirty...and chef was a little flustered. Coz Zalfa and Chef are about the same age...so it totally sounded like she was flirting with him. I just couldn't stop laughing at that....I mean really...it's just the funniest thing I've ever witnessed so far. And she said she was a shy girl when I first met her....SHY MY ARSEEE!!!!

Okay...enough about that. She'll kill me if she knew that I posted this incident on my blog. Lol...she's kinda like my source of entertainment...she just makes me laugh my ass off. Another thing...I kinda call her "MOM", coz of her maternal instincts of always knowing what I need. I mean really...she knows when something's bothering me...and she always helps me carry my stuff. Coz I'm kinda like a klutz in school...I always have way too many stuff to carry around and I keep dropping papers and books. In return, I drive her home every night from school...coz her place is on my way home. I always tell ppl that I have to drive my Mom home...lol. So that's basically the other part of my life in school. It's not always just stress and chaos in the kitcen...sometimes it can be really fun! And I'm really glad for it.

Anyways, here are some pictures of the food that I took during Demo class. I didn't cook them...but Chef did. However, we were meant to cook the same dishes that he did during demo, so my version would look exactly like chef's. I just never remember to take picture of the food that I've cooked. The only difference between mine and chef's would probably be the TASTE...lol. Here it goes:-

This is a Duck Breast with Onion Confit with a Spinach Mousse as garnish. As you can see the green pudding-like thing is the spinach mousse...and to be honest, mine looked way better....reason is becoz I didn't blend the spinach in the machine. I just chopped it really fine, mixed it in the egg mixture and baked it. The color of my spinach mousse looked way more appetizing.

This is a Puree of Pea Soup Saint Germain with Croutons. This recipe was actually served together with the duck breast...and lol..we called it the "St Patrick's Day" combo coz they were all so green. Lol.

This is one of my favorites...it's called "Smoked Salmon with Mango Salad". This entree dish is absolutely fantastic!! The mango salad was AWESOME!! Even the dressing had some mangoes in it...omg..it was just heavenly.

Last but not least...the highlight of the course! LOBSTER AMERICAINE served with Rice Pilaf!! We actually had to kill a live lobster. And one lobster costs about $60 bucks. Anyway...it was such a great dish. Everybody did such a great job on the dish...and ALL of us took the dish home. I mean..who's gonna be that stupid to waste his/her share of the lobster.

So I went to my usual guitar lesson today...and I was talking to Harry, my guitar teacher about my progress and all. All of a sudden, he just asked me this question, "Do you think you'd be able to teach Beginner's guitar?" He just caught me off guard there...I just said..."Uhmm...yeah I guess!" He kinda indirectly offerred me to teach on behalf of him....for beginner's only of course. I was soooo excited...I mean...it's such a privilege to have someone like Harry believe in your talents and skills. He didn't sound like he was kidding.

OMG...u know what this means if he's actually serious bout letting me teach his students?? It means that I'm finally making progress in my music dream!! Someone actually believes in my music talents...and little by little...I'm gonna achieve that dream I've always wanted. A PROFESSIONAL MUSICIAN!! And from there, I can branch out bit by bit...like form a band...perform live...record an album. I'm not exactly looking to get rich and famous with my music...I just wanna get some form of recognition...and acquire some contacts so that when I open my cafe/bistro some time in the future, I'd be able to hire good bands to perform live at my establishment. Now...that would be my ULTIMATE DREAM!! Basically, I still wanna be a chef...but at the same time, I also wanna be kept in the loop within the music industry.

You know what Harry said to me before I finished my lessons? He said this, precisely...Veron, I want to make you the best student I've ever taught. Actually, you are already one of my best students and I believe that you can do way better...I know it!! But you're just a bit slack!! So go home, practise, and show me that you can do it next week!

These words of encouragement just totally made my day. Some ppl are just so natural with words of encouragement and motivation. Harry's definitely one of em'. He makes me believe that I can totally achieve the impossible. Sometimes I feel that I need more of these ppl in my life....or perhaps, sometimes I just wish that I am someone like that. But unfortunately, I give up on things way too easily...I totally know that about myself. I'm a total wuss sometimes...I give up the second I know that I cannot succeed in something. I'm way too afraid of failing...and this sorta attitude will never get me anywhere above the mediocre level. But good news is...I'm starting to change little by little.

Well...I guess it's true when ppl say that "When one door shuts, another one opens!" Not just any door...but a BIGGER and MEANER door. I guess that's what is happening to me at the moment. I might've under-achieved in my studies as a chef....but I've made some major progress in my music. But I guess my aim would be to try to balance these two aspects of my life. I wanna be awesome in both. Not just one or the other....but BOTH!! Some ppl say I might be too greedy to embrace in both....but those ppl can go to hell.

Alright...post is getting a little too long. Catch you next time! Cheers.

Worst time of my life

2009-02-09T23:42:00.004+11:00

I'm having the worst time of my life these couple of days. I feel like I'm losing EVERYTHING that are important to me. Sometimes I just feel like ending this miserable life...and start over from scratch...but unfortunately, life does not work this way. I wish I could rewind back to that critical point of my life...and try to do things differently...but no...it doesn't work that way too.

I received my last semester's grades today...and sadly to say, I didn't do so well. When I saw that "P" in my transcript....I just felt like the whole world crushed upon me. I got a fucking "PASS" for my Basic cuisine certificate. I worked so fucking hard and put so much effort...but all I got was a fucking Pass. You have no idea how pissed off I got. I wanted at least a CREDIT...coz I knew Distinction was impossible...but at least a CREDIT will be enough to keep me motivated for the next 10 stressful weeks.

I gotta say....
"Life is indeed like a box of chocolates."
I never really understood the meaning behind this quote until now. It's so true that sometimes in life...
you'll never know what you'll get!!

I certainly did not know I was gonna get such shitty grades....despite all the hard work that I've put in.
I certainly did not know that things do not turn out the way you plan....no matter how much time and effort you've put into preparing for it.
And most importantly, I certainly did not know that I, VeRoN LiNg has turned out to be such a miserable failure beyond words.

I'm not being a drama queen...but so what if I am?? All the high hopes and goals that I set for myself before starting this course has just shatterred right in front of my eyes. You have no idea how much this affects me and my confidence.

What if this actually defines my limitations, which means that this is the best I can do?
What if no matter how much extra effort I put into improving myself, I will still be hanging around on the same thread??

I am so scared at the moment...I almost wanna cry...but I know that I gotta suck it in, swallow my tears, take a deep breath, take a step back if I have to and FOCUS on what's at stake...which is the PRESENT!! I know I cannot cry over spilled milk...coz the moment I do that, I will always be captured in the past. And if that happens, I know I will be so caught up with it and I will spend most of my time feeling sorry for myself, and thus neglect the present. But then again, saying it is easier than doing it...I guess I just gotta learn to move on.

Bad things can just hit you when you least expect it to happen. And I cannot believe that two bad things can happen within two days. It's like God is trying to punish me with these plagues...lol...maybe I should start going to church again! The other disappointment is a bit more personal...which I won't be mentioning in detail. It's basically about this guy I've been seeing for the past month...but didn't work out coz I can be such a loser when it comes to relationships. But this didn't really bother me as much as my grades...coz if you know me well enough, you'd know that I try not to get too serious with whomever I date...hence it won't hit me as hard as it would if I was serious. But doesn't mean I'm a player...lol...don't misunderstand...it's just that my priorities are more to my career and dreams....and not relationships.

I'm not too upset about this...in fact, I'm kinda relieved that it's over. I mean...seeing this guy was kinda like killing the free time that I had over the christmas holidays...especially since I quit my job and didn't have as much events going on. And now that I've started school again, I don't actually need all these DISTRACTIONS revolving around my life. And just so you know...I don't believe in love...so don't ask me any questions in regards to whether I loved the guy or not. Coz the answer will be FUCK NO...and it will always stay the same, no matter who I date in the future. I repeat...I DO NOT BELIEVE IN A THING CALLED LOVE!! (Love in general that is....not just boy/girl love).

I could go on and on and on about this "LOVE" topic if I had the time...but fortunately for you, I won't! Hehe. Basically, I'm a true believer of
If there is no love, there is no hate!
So I'm not all devil here..lol..I'm just taking a different approach to banish hate towards anyone....which is by not loving anyone...if you catch my drift?!

Anyway...whatever...this topic is more suitable for a drinking session. Lol. I don't know how the hell I could go from getting pissed off at my grades to the topic of love. Well...that's me u know...very random.

Sigh..I'm still very upset about my grades. My friends told me to double check it again with the Admin office to see if they've made a mistake...but to be honest, I don't know whether I should or not. I mean I really don't wanna cry over spilled milk and waste too much time on the past. Well if they really made a mistake, then so be it. What do you think??

Alright...I think I'm gonna stop rambling now. I wish you guys all the best. Cheers buds!

All you wanted cover

2009-02-05T23:55:00.003+11:00

Hey guys...I'm just testing out some of my audio recording...hope you guys can give me some feedback on the sound and my singing. It's not really a very good cover, to be honest...but hey, it is my first cover piece anyway.

I know it's just a plain clip...well, I guess that's why I need a camcorder...lol. Plus I'm more focused to the sound...not the image. So anyway...this is a cover of Michelle Branch's "All you wanted." Cheers.

Three Days in Hell

2009-02-04T23:02:00.003+11:00

So now that I'm back to school, I finally broke my "stay-at-home-everyday streak." When I stepped into the building, everything was different. They re-located the lockers, canteen, staff rooms and administration offices. Anyway...I met all my classmates...most of them I haven't seen since the break started. No one has really changed that much...I mean...it is only a month and a half...how much can a person change within that timeframe?

Anyway, I couldn't believe just how much I struggled on the first day back in the kitchen. Everything was just chaos. I'll start with the first day.

Day 1 - First day back in hell

I had my theory class at 12.30pm and I was kinda hoping that it's gonna be some really awesome chef who's gonna be our lecturer. Turns out it was this plump lady who claims that she's a chef...but I've never seen her in a chef's uniform ever. Well...she's an okay public speaker...but she can be quite obnoxious, especially to those who can't speak English too well. For one thing, she always picks on the overses students....like the Koreans and the Taiwanese. Bottom line is, I don't really like her as a theory lecturer.

Anyway, after theory class, we had an hour break and then we had our demo class. I was really excited about demo class....coz once again, I was really hoping that one of my favorite chefs, Chef Steve, Chef Ross or Chef Colm would be my demo chef. Well, yet another disappointment. I had this German chef...Chef Andreas, as my chef for Monday and Tuesday demos. But after going through his demo class, I find that he's pretty okay chef...not excellent...but I can get by with him as my demo chef.

So the recipes on Monday was puff pastry and spatchcock. Oh my God....I HATE PUFF PASTRY SO MUCH!!! My puff pastry sucked...BIG TIME!! Anyway...my practical chef for Mondays and Tuesdays is this old Italian dude that speaks a very strong Italian accented English. His name is Chef Vito. He's super strict...but reasonable. Once again...not my favorite chef...but I can live with him as my practical chef.

It was such a hassle that day...even though we were only cooking two recipes. It was a really hot day too...and the kitchen was at least 40 degrees. We were all sweating like pigs and hassling to finish our dishes. I cut the inside of my nail on a sugar snap pea....can u believe that?? I cut my finger when I was trying to pull out the strings on the sides of the sugar snap peas. Wasn't a deep cut...but it was very painful....almost like a papercut. And I can't even put a band-aid on coz it bled from the flesh inside of my nail. Anyway...that was only a minor cut.

But after a while, I burned my hand on a 300 degree Celcius steel pan. I took out the pan from a very hot oven and put it on the stove while I tried attend to some other task. So DUH...the handle of the pan is very hot. I actually warned the guy next to me, Pedro to be careful of the hot pan. So after I finished the task, I came back to the pan and held the handle with my bare hand, without a tea towel...and Tssss....I burned my right palm. It was such a bad burn that I could literally feel that the devil is building a little hell on my right palm. I couldn't do anything except running it on cold water. My hand was sooo red and I could still feel the burn. It's as if my hand is literally on fire.

Anyway...I tried to finish cooking the dish even though I burned my hand. I wasn't gonna let a minor setback ruin my dish. I could only use my left hand to complete the remaining jobs. I couldn't use my right hand at all...coz anything that I touch, it just hurts twice as much. Judging from the pain I was enduring, I was expecting my skin to peel sooo bad the next day...or worse..BLISTERS. But you know what?? I think I have some sorta supernatural healing powers....the burn just healed by itself and didn't even leave any burn marks, or even blisters. My right palm looked as per normal...and it didn't hurt at all. Lol...I think my skin is like leather...it's so tough and thick that heat doesn't really affect it. So that was Monday.

Day 2 - Second day in hell

Once again, I had Chef Andreas as my demo chef...and there was this new chef next to him as well...he looked pretty young, good-looking and foreign. I think he might be Polish or Scandinavian. But I really couldn't tahan his arrogance. Anyway...I'm not really interested to talk to about him. So...we were supposed to cook the puff pastry that we made the day before with a mussel filling. Also we had to prepare a guinea fowl and cook it.

During practical, I had so much trouble with my puff pastry that Chef Vito suggested that I used someone else's one. I could tell that he didn't wanna say that my puff pastry is totally "un-useable", coz he didn't wanna disappoint me. So in the end, I had to use someone else's puff pastry. and I threw mine away..it was upsetting, coz if u remember last term, I made puff pastry before...and it wasn't successful too. Lol...I just never had any luck when it comes to making pastries.

As for the guinea fowl that I cooked, it wasn't that great too. Chef said that it needed more time in the oven...coz some parts were uncooked. And my sauce wasn't that great either...basically, everything was shit. It kinda felt like the first day when I started the Basic course. Everything's just chaos. And that was Tuesday.

Day 3 - Final day in hell for the week (today)

When I got up today, I knew that it was gonna be a much better day. I decided to use a different approach in writing my workflow. I typed it up, instead of just writing em' on the workflow sheet. As I was typing it up, I felt like I understood the recipe more clearly. I spent about an hour typing up a really detailed workflow, whereas usually it only takes me 30 mins to write in on the workflow sheet. So I'm actually putting extra effort in my workflow...which I'm really proud of.

I knew that today was gonna be Chef Ross' turn to teach the demo...and I was really excited. Okayyy...I'll admit I've always had a little crush on him. Lol. It's nothing serious....just a harmless crush, leaning towards admiration actually. So anyway, I was really excited to attend his demo...coz last year when he was my practical chef, he was really awesome! He's a funny character...really.

During the demo, I was paying like 200% attention to him...lol...I think my blink counts were drastically reduced. lol. Anyway...Chef Ross was sooo professional and organized during his demo....it was kinda unexpected, coz I heard some bad reviews about him from other students who have attended his demos before. I guess this only proves that reviews are bullshit. He kept his workstation clean and tidy, his system was flawless, his food was delicious and most importantly, he's really entertaining during his demos. Like I said...he's quite a character. Gordon Ramsay can go back to hell....Chef Ross is now my idol!!! I got a bit disappointed when he told us he was married...lol. If not, HAHAHA....i might jump on him. Lol...just kidding la. I like Chef Ross as the way I like Kiefer Sutherland....strictly idolization and admiration only. Except that chef ross is more real...lol...compared to Kiefer.

Anyway...I guess the amount of effort I put in my workflow and the attentiveness I had during demo, I managed to improve drastically on my speed and quality. I managed to serve the dishes on time....and chef Anita said that my dish was full flavors...but the only thing I had to watch out for is my sauce. My sauce was way too greasy...I guess it was becoz I didn't degrease it enough. But today was good. Not sure if it's because of chef ross' demo...or just the extra TLC (tender loving and care) that I put into my cooking. Maybe it's both. Either way, I'm happy....coz at least I'm improving.

Oh...did I mention that I cut my finger again today? This time it's with a knife. I gotta say...it didn't hurt as much as I'd expect it to when I cut myself. It just bled a lot...but it didn't hurt at all. I guess adrenaline was pumping all over my body that my nervous system just backs out for a moment there. I've cut myself twice this week...and burned myself. Lol...how careless can I be?

So that was three days in hell....in details! Lol...way too much details. Anyway, I'm just so glad to be back in school...I'm enjoying myself, even though that it can be so stressful....but I guess it's better than boredom. I guess I'll catch you guys later. Adios!

Chinese New year cum Australia Day!!

2009-01-26T15:09:00.006+11:00

GONG XI FA CHAI!!!

Hope that all of you will have a happy and prosperous new year ahead of ya!!

As for the Aussies out there....

Happy Australia Day!

I had a full on day yesterday...and boy it felt sooo good...especially after staying at home for such a long time now. It's like I feel alive again!! I got up at 9am in the morning, took a bus to the city and met up with Ivy. We went shopping...but it's more like window shopping for me....Ivy was the one who was trying on clothes and buying em'. I was kinda broke from all the christmas spendings and my new Strat. Plus...I'm not exactly the shopping for clothes kinda girl. I normally shop for my favorite TOYS. Lol...if ya know what I mean.

Anyway, we spent like a whole afternoon in the city. After that, I had to attend a BBQ at the beach, organized by my former Malaysian managers, Raja and Cindy. Selina who was Raja's wife was there too...and of course Shristi. So the five of us went to Coogee Beach for BBQ. There were sooo many Aussies there...and to be honest, I felt really outta place for a moment there.

So we were just minding our own business, eating and laughing away...enjoying ourselves at a booth. And beside our booth were these bunch of drunkards who had been doing all sorts of crazy stuff like throwing beer bottles on the roof of the booths, making really annoying noises. We just ignored them, and try as best as we could, to enjoy the rest of our evening.

All of sudden, I felt something splashed all over my face. I thought it was raining or something....but when I looked across, I saw Shristi and Raja's face drizzled with red stains on their faces. For a moment there, I thought it was blood. Then I touched my face and hair...OMG...I had them too! So I turned my back, and I saw a smashed and distorted bottle of ketchup on the grass...with blots of ketchup stains around it. And then I saw this guy with a red shirt and white cap ran away with a cricket bat. And snap...I knew what happened right away. That fuckin idiot smashed the bottle of ketchup with a cricket bat and the sauce just splashed all over our faces and clothes. OMG...was I pissed off.

That group of drunkards didn't even apologize...but they knew they were in trouble...coz they packed their stuff immediately and wanted to leave. Everybody around us were just staring at us (coz we were showered in tomato sauce)...and it was fuckin' embarassing. I mean, I want my few minutes of fame someday...but not because I was fuckin' drenched in tomato sauce. But obviously, I couldn't have done anything about it...coz they were pretty big guys! I mean, face it...how am I gonna fight them if the confrontation turned into a brawl.

But I had to let out my anger somehow...so I just yelled, "Fuckin' hell....that was not cool, ppl!! THAT WAS NOT COOL!!" Cindy overreacted a little by calling up the cops. I honestly didn't think it was a good idea, coz the police's job is to arrest thugs who commit crimes...not drunkards who uses a bottle of ketchup as a cricket ball. And we really shouldn't bother them with little incidents like that. But anyhow, she called up the cops anyway....and they did send ONE cop! Lol. It's like I could see the look on his face when we told em' what happened. I kinda interpreted his facial expression as, "Fuck me..would you gimme a break??!" So that was the "KeTcHuP InCiDenT"!!

Although nobody got hurt from the ketchup incident, it kinda killed our mood a little. So we decided to go home early. But then Cindy decided that we could hit the casino at night...since it's chinese new year eve. And traditionally, we, the chinese would gamble during this celebration. So we did hit the casino...but I didn't really felt like gambling. I don't know...I guess I just lost that thrill that I used to have towards gambling. Or maybe I was just broke...lol.

There was this really funny part about the decor in the main entrance of the casino. Because the first day of CNY falls on Australia Day, so these two events kinda share the date. So there were really beautiful CNY decors all around the casino...there were lanterns and all sorts of red colored stuff hanging around the casino. And in the middle of nowehere stood 4 Australian flags! Lol...I just thought that was hilarious. I mean...those flags were outta place man! It's like red all around...and suddenly 4 big blue flags. And those flags were the only Aussie decoration they could think of. And dude...isn't Australia Day more important than CNY?? I mean...we are in AUSTRALIA after all!! Lol.

Another thing, when the clock struck 12, I didn't hear no Australian national anthem! All I heard was..."Dong dong dong chiang...dong dong chiang." Lol. So there were lion and dragon dances...but it was lousy man! The KK ones even better oh!! The lions looked so old and dirty...and they weren't even synchronized. Cacat la!!

So after the lousy lion dance performance, we went up to the casino and began our gambling night. Cindy went on by herself with roulette, while me, shristi and selina played some poker machines. Since they don't know how to gamble, we just went to the 1 cent machines. I don't normally like pokies...I mean...it's just plain boring and the winnings are little. And it doesn't really give me the thrill. But since I was so bored, I decided to put 10 bucks as my base...and see how the night goes. Well...to cut the long story short...I managed to win 70 bucks by playing 1 cent pokies. Lol.....winning 70 bucks on 1 cent poker machines is like winning 7000 bucks in a 10 dollar black jack table. Well, maybe not exactly...but that's how the ratio works out to be. hehe. I was really lucky that night....must be the red underwear I was wearing!! LOL...

Anyway...after just a couple of hours gambling, we decided to call it a night. So I drove them home...and then drove myself after that. I was really proud of myself for that dwelling into gambling last night. I don't usually have such self-control...especially towards blackjack!! So I guess it's a good break through for me.

Alright guys...once again, I wish all of you a very happy new year! Have a good one! Cheers, buds!!

I'm an apple!

2009-01-23T10:59:00.004+11:00

I did this quiz on facebook just minutes ago....and OMG...it is sooooo accurate. It's called the "What kinda fruit are you" quiz.

Apparently, I'M AN APPLE!!

You are strong, powerful, and even a bit stubborn at times. You have enough strength to help those around you in trouble. You are adventurous and charming. Many people are drawn to you. You love life, and you enjoy traveling the world. You enjoy fine food, art, and culture. People have accused you of being a snob, but that's not accurate. You do enjoy the best things in life. Unlike snobs, you truly appreciate quality... not just pretend to.

I hate to admit this....but that is soooo ME~! All of those tests and quizzes I've done so far in my life, this is the only one that truly describes me! Everything written there has got something to do with me.

So next time if someone asks me to describe myself in a couple of words....I'll just go...I'M AN APPLE! Or if I was going to a job interview and when they ask me to describe myself...I'll just look em' in the eye and say, Sir....I'm an apple! Or..if I'm on a date with someone whom I've just met and he asks me to tell him about myself, I'll just go all flirty and say, You better like apples...coz I'm one...*wink* *wink*

Lol. Hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. If you guys would like me to forward the test to you, just let me know. Cheers ppl!

-VeRoN-

13 Facts of My Life

2009-01-20T20:45:00.005+11:00

#1 Days home alone: 44 (really dying of loneliness here)

#2 Days without school: 40 (i miss my friends, my dear chefs, my workstation, the route to college, wearing my uniform, writing my work flows, googling for definitions of culinary terms, sleeping and getting up early, eating cereal for breakfast, sharpening my knives at 6am in the morning, hand washing my chef's uniform every Monday night and most importantly, the satisfaction of cooking a complete foreign recipe for the very first time and actually succeeding at it.)

#3 Days without a job: 37 (dying of boredom...losing motivation...a li'l pinch of depression....and definitely running low on cash!)

#4 Weight gained ever since: 1 kilo (I was surprised...I thought it'd be more.)

#5 Time spent at home ever since: Increased by an average of 8 hours a day(Can you believe it? I used to have 8 hours of school 3 days/week and 20 hours of work per week....and now I'm just spending it at home...I really need a job don't I?)

#6 Time spent in front of computer ever since:Increased by an average of 5 hours a day(Yes, I'm a geek now. Online 24/7, googling and wiki-ing everything that I encounter, youtube-ing, downloading, chatting, shopping...the whole shebang.)

#7 Cash flow and savings: Cash flow is DUHHH...negative la!! Savings is going down hill day by day(From $2821.17 to $881.02 over the past 37 days and this does not even include rent and utilities. WTF did I spend it on?? OHhhh...that's right...my new mate, Senor Fender Strat)

#8 Amount spent on fuel:Decreased by 100%(I used to fill it up once every 2 weeks, approx 50 bucks for a full tank....and throughout this break,which has been a month plus now, I've only filled it up once! I guess that explains the lack of traveling...and activities.)

#9 Human contact: Decreased significantly...sometimes even zero contact.(The only ppl I hang with is Angela, Ivy and Vivien...but not very frequently. I see Angela once a week when we go walking along the coast lines, Vivien on weekends if im lucky and Ivy once in a blue moon. Not to forget my guitar teacher every friday for an hour. AND THAT'S IT!!! Me and my pathetic jobless life. And I'm definitely not getting any....not that I ever did when I still had a job...lol.)

#10 Stress level: Very low...almost zero.(I used to be stressed out everyday from cooking in school and work. But I'm so chilled out everyday now...I even go to the beach and just lie on the sands for hours. How chilled out is that? The only thing that I stress about is thinking what I should do everyday....now that's a fucking headache!)

#11 Talking to myself time: Increased by A LOT!!(I've been talking to myself a lot lately....it's starting to freak myself out. Lol...but it still hasn't reached the extent of becoming cuckoo...so I guess I'm alright. But I've been motivating myself a lot....like, "Come on, Veron...get your ass outta bed and get outta the house!" OR "Oh shut up, Veron...u sound like a fuckin mocking bird (usually say that when I sing)" OR "Hey man, u gotta clean up the house today man...everything's a mess and u're living like a freakin' pig!" Yeah stuff like that, u know.)

#12 Sleeping hours: Not as routined as before and increased by 2-3 hours a day.(When I had school and a job, I sleep about an average of 7 hours a day....but now, I sleep about 10 hours a day...and that doesn't even include naps. Lazy mother fucker.)

#13 Life improvement: Became worse.(I thought that after I quit my job, I might be able to get some kinda life back. I guess I was wrong to assume that....it seems like being jobless seems to have taken my life away even more. This is very sad...especially when it means that work was actually a big part of my life before...and I don't have any other exciting stuff happening outside of it. Sigh...life is indeed very empty when you're not doing something that matters.)

Wanna swap lives?

I bet you're thinking..."What the fuck is she complaining bout...she don't need to work, don't need to study and don't have no stress...what the hell does she want more?"

Truth is....the grass is always greener on the other side. The best solution is, embrace what you have...and enjoy it while you can. Coz you'll never know that it might be taken away from you tomorrow.

I'm currently hunting for a job...and I'm really dying to start working again. But if you go back a few months back, I remember complaining bout work in almost every posts. Lol...I guess humans are strange that way. They want what they don't have...and they don't want what they have. I guess at the moment, I want what I don't have....which is a damn J-O-B!!

Could the third time be the charm?

2009-01-15T01:08:00.003+11:00

First of all....I wanna wish one of my best friends in the world a happy birthday.

HAPPY 22ND BIRTHDAY ALEXANDRA MARY CHIN MUI KHIUN

May all your wishes come true...and hope that you will always be happy wherever you are and in whatever you do!! Cheers, bud!

Have you ever experienced anything that has failed you miserably, hurt you badly, and left you with absolutely nothing but regrets and sorrows??

Well, I have. Twice!

The discussion here is not about "what", it's in fact about "how" and "why" these events occur. I know you must be really confused right now, but just bear with me. These experiences of failure, hurt and regret are all part of life...and it will happen to everyone's life at least once in their lives, almost 100% percent of the time. Like I said, it doesn't matter what it is....what matters is just how and why it happened. So the question here is....How did it happen....and why?

For me, these kinda experiences have happened twice. And both events are so similar to each other, in terms of how and why it happened. I obviously did not learn my lesson the first time around.

Shame on me if you fooled me once...and shame on you if you fooled me twice.

I obviously never understood this saying until after those events have occurred...which was already a bit too late.....

Back to the point...so how did it happen...and why.

1. NAIVITY
I was way too naive when these bad experiences occurred to me. I thought I had it in me...I thought I could handle it....but NO...I was wrong. I couldn't handle even the easiest part...so in the end I just messed it up. I believed that I had what it takes to make it a success....but HELL NO...you didn't, Veron. You were an amateur and the experts screwed you over.

2. STUPIDITY
I thought I was smart enough to understand the stakes at hand...but NO...I was wrong again. I was dwelled so deeply into my own stupidity, that I totally lost track of what was happening...and thus, got screwed over again.

3. DESPERATION
Desperate times call for desperate measures. And I was desperate for a solution to my problems. Desperate enough to sacrifice the most important things in my life. The worst part was...I showed my desperation to my opponents...and they took advantage of it. Bad move once again.

Okay..I'm sure you're totally lost right now....but bear with me for a few more minutes...and I promise you a twisted ending.

These bad experiences are all history now. I've learnt my lessons and will not make the same mistakes the third time....OR WILL I????

So here's the question....Could the third time be the charm?? Could I really pull it off this time?? Could I really make this a success, so that previous accounts can be wiped off my miserable life?

I believe God has given me a third chance....but the thing is...I do not know if he's really giving it to me, or does he want me to work for it?? Either way, I'm grateful...because I get a 50-50 chance to score and completely wipe off the failed attempts in my previous records.

However, these so-called previous bad experiences have given me some form of phobia. I assume that the same shit is gonna happen to me again like previous accounts...and now I don't really dare to commit myself into winning this third chance. I'm so afraid that I would fail again, leaving me with nothing but regrets and misery. So what should I do?

There is an upside to this third chance. The upside is that I hold all the cards at the moment, instead of my opponent. There is more advantage to my side...and if I play my cards right, it could be the turning point of my life. It could change my life drastically...and trust me, I need that!! I guess I really gotta play it cool...and not rush into anything that could jeopardize my chance of success.

Now, I am 100% sure that you have absolutely no fucking idea on what I just said. But like I said...it's not the "what" that's important.....it's the "how" and "why". If you've read til this far...thanks for reading! There's no twist or whatever to this story...it's just my way of expressing my complicated mind in contexts that don't really make sense to you....but if you know me well enough, you'd be able to catch slightly on what I've been ranting about.

Cheers, buds!!

A New Chapter of My Life

2009-01-08T00:10:00.002+11:00

A brand new year...a brand new start. That's what I've always loved to hear every year. It really is a new beginning for me, since I've quit my last job, and currently pursuing a whole new career path. As you all know, I'm aspiring to be a chef now. So you will most probably NEVER EVER see me wearing a work suit. And I really mean NEVER.

Soon I will have lesser and lesser time to update my blog...let's just say I've found better things to occupy my free time. But I will try my best to update it anyway.

Okay...I'm gonna do my New Year Resolutions...so here it goes:

VeRoN's New Year Resolutions

1. Lose the belly...and maintain at a 48-50kg weight (no more no less).

2. Graduate my culinary course with flying colors.

3. Get an apprenticeship in a good restaurant/establishment.

4. Play cover songs in a band, or go solo with my originals.

5. But of course, I gotta start writing my originals first. =P

6. I wanna travel to somewhere in the world, other than Australia, Malaysia and Singapore which are the only places I've been to....I find it very sad. I'm gonna change that, even if it means traveling alone. I'm just too desperate at the moment. Macau/Hong Kong would be the target.

7. Spend the coming New Year's with that special someone, perhaps?? OR NOT. Really don't give a damn anymore...

8. I wanna make that mini clip I've always wanted to featuring my originals and post it on youtube. But again it depends if NY resolution number 5 is fulfilled.

9. Finish reading all my recipe books! Lol...I have like 4-5 of them sitting there and some of em' thicker than those Britannica encyclopaedias u have sitting at home.

10. Finally and most importantly, I wanna lose all of that impatience and rage that I get everytime I get stressed out, especially at work and in the kitchen. I need to stop being Hulk...lol. But then again...it's genetic, like Hulk...lol. But I'll fight it anyway...!~

Okay...I really have no other things to say...so see ya guys! Cheers!

My Fender Mexican Fat Stratocaster HSS

2008-12-26T15:53:00.006+11:00

First of all, I wanna wish all you guys out there a very MERRY CHRISTMAS and hope that you guys had an unforgettable one. Well at least I did.

There's no time to say more...coz it's show off time!!! I just got a midnight wine Fender Mex Fat Strat HSS and it's absolutely fabulous! Here are the pictures!!

My new Fender Strat and my new VOX amp!

The neck of my Strat

The body of my Strat

Me posing with my Strat

Me playing my Strat

A group picture of my li'l family! On the left is my husband, Taylor and I'm holding my li'l baby Strat....also, I'm sitting on my boyfriend, VOX.

Looks like Santa granted the first item on my christmas list!! Realized that I said "granted" and not "gave"?? That's becoz he didn't give em' to me...he simply showed me where I could get it for a damn cheap price!! And I'm really so glad that I waited a bit longer....coz I could've gotten it last week, but they didn't have the color that I wanted, which is this one. I actually considered getting another color...but thank God I was patient. As I checked the website this morning, there is actually a Boxing Day sales and this Strat that I got was discounted big time!!! And the VOX amp that I got...it was discounted pretty good too!

Basically, I got a really good deal for my Strat and amp! You just can't get any better than that. My amp is just awesome! It's got about 30 programmed sounds in the amp....so you don't even really need a synthesizer. It's so sophisticated, compared to the amps that I used to have before...I actually need to go thru the user's manual tonight. In a nutshell, I'm just sooo frickin' happy and motivated now. I can't wait til my next guitar lesson...and show off to my guitar teacher. Haha.

Anywho...I think I'll be spending the next few weeks playing the Strat...and Taylor is probably gonna retire for a while. Hehe. Alrighty then...I gotta go now....so Merry Christmas once again and Happy new year!! Cheers!

All I want for Christmas...

2008-12-21T23:32:00.005+11:00

Dear Santa,

My name is Veron and here is a list of things that I want for Christmas this year. I've been really really good this year and I think I deserve at least one of the things listed below. Please Santa....I do believe in your existence and trust me...not many ppl still do nowadays! Just so you know, I'm gonna leave the best homemade christmas cookies you've ever tasted on my coffee table on christmas eve...just for you Santa!! Here is my list of wishes:-

10 Things I Want For Christmas 2008

10. A signed/unsigned Jack Bauer T-shirt.

9. A red Mini Cooper.

8. Two front row seats and backstage passes to Eric Clapton's concert in March.

7. A massive kitchen, fully equipped with professional appliances and kitchenwares.

6. A Nintendo Wii console and the new guitar hero world tour set which includes a drum set, guitar and microphone.

5. A lifetime supply of Crown lager or James Squire Golden Ale beers.

4. A camera/video camera.

3. An air ticket to anywhere in the world...preferably somewhere in Europe or America.

2. A vintage Gibson Les Paul guitar that is owned and signed by Kiefer Sutherland.

1. A midnight wine colored Fender Stratocaster and a fairly good amp, loud enough to get a fine from the local council for noise pollution. I've been searching all over Sydney for this particular model, but my efforts did not pay. What is christmas without a Fender Strat, right?? Sighh...

*fingers crossed*

My First Bike Ride

2008-12-19T21:55:00.002+11:00

OH MY GOD!!! I had my first bike ride today!! It was AWESOME and LEGEND.....wait for it........DARY!!!!! Lolz. My guitar teacher, Harry, took me out for a ride on his brand new Kawasaki bike. It's nearly a Harley, but not quite there yet...anyway, it was awesome!!! At first, it felt kinda scary to be honest....kinda feels like a roller coaster ride...but after a while you get used to it. That bike could really fly,i swear!! Damn it was fast!!

So he rode me all the way to this place called Belmore...it was like half an hour from his place. We stopped at a recording studio....which looked more like a massive garage. Harry needed to make some bookings for that studio and he wanted to have a look inside the studio....but unfortunately, there's a band already inside having a rehearsal. And guess who's in there??? Dani Hines!!! I know what u're thinking....Who the hell is that, right?? Well...I don't really know her at first, but apparently she's famous in Australia. So I asked Harry and he said that she's Marcia Hines' daughter. Then I was like..."OOOohhhh!!!! I seeee!!" Well, you see....Marcia Hines is the Paula Abdul of Australia!! She's one of the judges for Australian Idol...she used to and still is a pretty famous singer in Australia. Well, apparently her daughter is famous too....but I never heard of her!!

Anyway, she actually came out of the studio for a while and we saw her. She wasn't that pretty....and she sure doesn't look like a celebrity to me. So my guess is....she ain't famous. I guess she's just known as Marcia Hines' daughter, and that's it!

There was this awkward moment that felt really really awkward to me!! I mean...I shouldn't be...but somehow I do. Anyway...it was when Harry and I reached home, and his wife, coincidentally came home at the same time! His wife was staring at us while we glided on the bike into the front yard!! I guess she was trying to work out who that biatch is grabbing on her husband's waist!! HAHAHHAHA!!! It really felt awkward as hell coz I could see thru those judgmental eyes!! Hahhaa....and u know what?? According to Harry, I was kinda the first person he actually took out on his bike. Oh my god....I felt like a slut!! Okayyy...maybe I'm a li'l overboard here...but still...it felt awkward. I mean...shouldn't his wife be the first person that he should take out on his bike??? And what would his wife think of that?? I bet she hates me now!! Damn...

Whatever, right?? It was my first ever bike ride and it was AWESSSOOOMMMEEEE!!!! Maybe one day I would have my own bike?? Hahhaa....dream on, Veron!! Your feet don't even touch the ground when you're on the bike!!! HAHAHHA....alright...perhaps a scooter then? I don't mind a scooter at all!! Alright....an addition to my "things to own before I die list.....to buy a scooter!!" Lolzz!!

YESSSS...will be heading to the beach again tomorrow!! Can't wait...I just love the beach!! But ugghh...the beach is gonna be crowded tomorrow...it's saturday! I hate crowded beaches! Oh did I tell you guys that on the other day when I went to the beach, there was this gurl who was sun-bathing nude! She took off her bikinis and just lied on the sand....upright...her boobs facing the sky! Yesss....it's true! But to be honest, there was nothing to see.....coz she was sooooooooo flat!!! Hahaha!! Okay I'm gonna stop being mean now!! I'll catch you guys later!!

Great dinner, awesome party and a nice day at the beach

2008-12-16T22:02:00.004+11:00

Today's post is actually divided into three parts! Let's start with the first!

1. GREAT DINNER
Last Friday, I had a night out with my college friends (Zalfa, Angeline, Gerald and Sally). Zalfa is a Lebanese lady who looks so damn young for her age. Angeline is from Singapore and she's very knowledgeable and experienced in food. Gerald is a massive Hong Kie guy who has an awesome car - yes he really does! And Sally is a skinny Korean Aussie gurl who owns and runs a really nice cafe at Balmain. As for me, I'm just a regular 21 year old KK gurl who happened to know these four very distinct characters! We went to dinner at this Thai/French cuisine restaurant called "Longrain". It's a very well-known restaurant and they do not take bookings. They're actually so confident that they're gonna be full house every night that they don't need a customer database at all. I applaud their confidence. But it was a full house that day...so I guess their confidence are well justified.

So on that day, we got to know each other so much better. We discovered so many truths about each other. Like one of em' was actually married, and another one was divorced, and then another one actually has curly hair! Okay I swear I didn't know Angeline had curly hair! Anyway...it was such a great night! All of our conversations had something to do with food, restaurants, cafes, chefs, recipes, etc....basically everything to do with the culinary world!! I love it!!! I could actually just sit there all night and talk about food...I guess it's the passion inside me that's starting to grow outwards. I cannot say this any clearer but I really am glad that I quit Uni and started this career choice.

Dinner was sooooo good!! OMG...it was literally orgasmic!! I just cannot believe that those simple dishes could create so much flavor and taste. It's like all the flavors come together and form some sorta....orgasmic mechanism that totally gets you off!! I am not fucking exaggerating! But it was kinda pricey though. That's the part where it potong-ed my steam a bit. It was like $60 bucks per person for 4 shared dishes with rice. And the portion was kinda small. But it was totally worth it!!

2. AWESOME PARTY

Alright, this part of my post is about the christmas party I had last Saturday. So I went to the party at 6pm and I didn't see anybody that I know at the party. All of em' were like from other departments. My peeps from the F&B department hadn't arrived. I was soooo damn bored for the first hour...I almost gave up and just went home...but thank God I didn't!! OMG...thank God for that. Turned out that the party was a blast!! A lot of things happened that night...some I'm proud of, some I'm not! So I will only mention the ones that I'm proud of...hehe!!

Okay...first they had this stupid lame ass magic show that wouldn't even impress a bunch of sick kids at the hospital. It was so freakin' lame. It's worse that Gob's tricks from Arrested Development....it's a comedy series! Anyway...that was a waste of time...and money...but who cares right? I didn't pay for it. And then we moved on to some lucky draw prizes. Oh...btw...I didn't win the ticket to Malaysia in the lucky draw....some dude from the housekeeping department won the ticket. So I guess I ain't coming back for xmas! Boohoo.

Ok ok...I'll skip to the juice of the night!! This was one of the proudest moments in my life! There was a karaoke competition....and guess what? I joined it!! I joined with my two other colleagues...I actually wanted to do a solo, but I decided to do a group instead. We sang "More than words" with second voice! I did the second voice....and it sounded great!! I actually sang on stage...with a mic...in front of 100 over unknown people! To be honest, I didn't feel a tinge of nervousness at all!! Not even slightly....okayyy, maybe's the alcohol...but I guess my point is, I do love singing after all. Btw, we actually got 2nd place in the competition!

Here's a picture of me and my colleagues singing on stage.
Me,Kim and Cheryll singing "More than Words" for the Karaoke contest.

So after we did the karaoke right, I went back to my table. I was so surprised that my colleagues actually complimented on my singing. There's this one guy from Front Office who said I that I have a nice voice and I should go sign up for some singing contest. Hahhh...I just laughed so hard. I told em' that he should stop bullshittin'...and I said that it's probably the alcohol that made him say that. I dunno...but sometimes I just feel that I don't trust people when they say I'm good at something. I guess it's a confidence issue u know. My guitar teacher actually asked me whether I would ever wanna sing in a band....I said no. I told em that it's because I don't have a nice voice. But he said that there's potential in my voice if I'm willing to work on it. I guess sometimes I'm just not confident enough to admit on certain abilities that I possess.

Anyway...the whole night turned out great until a certain incident occurred at the AV8 bar. It involves a very drunk guy who works as a front office manager. Hmm..I'm thinking whether or not to write about this. Ahhhh what the hell. Okay...basically, this FO manager was so drunk that he started coming on to a few gurls (which kinda includes me). I was just sitting on this li'l corner minding my own business, and also half watching the Arsenal vs Middlesbrough game. Then all of a sudden, that drunk guy came on to me and almost ~~stuck his tongue in my mouth~~ come in contact with my lips. Oh my gosh...thank God I had great reflex (I was actually sober)....and dodged his tongue! HAHAHAHA!!! Fuckin' EWWWWW mannnn....he's so fuckin' old. He's like 40 or sumthing. Eeewwww...if it was some good lookin' hunk, it might be okay...but he's F-U-G-L-Y!! Anyway...he missed...big time...and I pushed him away so hard. To be honest, I wanted to kick his balls, but well...he's actually a nice guy when he's not drunk u know...so...I guess I can forgive n forget. But dude...it was damn close man...if I was just a bit tipsy, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have dodged it. And I would live with that horror for the rest of my life. Euuugghhh...the thought of it makes me wanna puke!

Anyway...yeah that was something I wasn't proud of. But aside from that, I had a great time. Here are some pictures of that night.

Sanjeev, me, Kim, Cheryll & Tamara

Kim, Me and Cheryll

Cheryll, Karen, Kim, Tredwell and Me

The after party at AV8 Bar

Margarita, Cheryll, Me and Kim

Nina or Wina(she's a twin..not sure which one), Karen, Kim and Me

Me and Cheryll trying to reach for the head. Both of us are too short!! Lolzz!!

Me and Cheryll, going crazee

3. Nice day at the beach

As for today, I had an entire afternoon sun bathing on Coogee Beach together with Angela. It's actually the first time I've gone sun bathing in a beach ever since I came to Sydney. Can you believe it?? Anyway...we spent about 2 hours under the scorching sun, just catching up with each other u know....since we don't go to Uni together anymore. It was a nice hang out. And after that we had lunch at a Thai restaurant. And on the way there...guess who did I see?? Or at least I thought I saw. It was the Aussie doctor from House M.D. series...Dr Chase!! OMG...I could swear it was him, although he grew a moustache and a beard...but I swear man...it was definitely him. I was struggling to remember his real name...so I didn't approach and ask if it was him. If I knew his name, I would've asked if it was him...and if it was, I could've gotten his autograph!! OMG...what a day! Here's a picture of him.

Jesse Spencer, actor in series, House M.D. spotted at Coogee Beach next to Thai Chilli Restaurant. I could swear it was him!!

After lunch, we took a drive to Bondi Junction coz I wanted to pick up my guitar which I thought they had in stock. Unfortunately, they didn't have the one that I wanted, which was the red one. So I got so disappointed...I decided to look elsewhere. We had dessert at Max Brenner...I had a Belgian Waffle with strawberries and chocolate sauce. Mmmmm...yummy!!

After Bondi Junction, we went back to Angela's place and we played Guitar Hero Rock Band. You know the new Guitar Hero that comes with the drum set, guitar and microphone? Angela has that and OMG...it's the best game ever!! I couldn't get sick of it!! It was awesome!

So today, I actually spent the entire day outside of the house...which was great...coz I've been spending so much time indoors that I'm starting to rot. I had a very nice time today and I intend to have another day like this again sometime soon. Alright...that's all I gotta say for now! Hope you guys have a good pre-christmas!! Hehhee....pre-christmas is always the busiest time! Shopping for christmas gifts, christmas decors, christmas preps!! All sorts of christmassy stuff. Don't u just love it???!!! Anyway...have a good one and see ya next time!

Life without college and a job - Day 1

2008-12-11T15:59:00.004+11:00

0830: Got outta bed from a 14 hour sleep, brushed my teeth and took a shower.

0900: Marinated the 2 red snapper fillets that I bought last week with garlic salt, black pepper and cajun seasoning.

0915: Pan fried the fish with olive oil and served it with a lemon cheek.

0930: Sat down in front of my computer and ate my very fishy breakfast while watching "How I met your mother."(OMG...funniest series ever!)

1045: Picked up my Taylor and practised my homework which was sing and play "Me and my Bobby McGee" by Janis Joplin and "I don't believe you" by Pink.

1115: Got a li'l bored practising and continued watching "How I met your mother."

1155: Finished the last episode of Season 1 and decided to download Season 2. Crawled back into bed while downloading 6 episodes of season 2.
Started out lying on the bed, just thinking bout stuff...but then it turned into a nap when I fell asleep...just 3 hours after I got up from a 14 hour sleep. (WOW...what a life...I mean...what a pig's life).

1330: Got up and got a li'l hungry. Wanted to order dominos pizza...but realized that it would be a really BIG FAT MISTAKE! Thank God I didn't. Searched the fridge and decided to indulge in an orange and a mango for lunch, while watching the 2nd season of "How I met your mother." (Still funny as hell).

1500: Got a li'l bored of the series and decided to surf the net. Did a li'l facebook-ing, lyric-browsing, email-ing, and researching for my new guitar.

1600: Decided to update my blog with a new post, up til now.

Forecast for tonight's events:-

1700: Probably watch a movie...I've got like 10 new DVDs that I just got, but never had the time to watch. I got em' for like 2-3 bucks each. Really ol' school stuff. Like Addam's Family, dragon heart, etc.

1900: Probably cook dinner....or maybe take out. Depends on my mood y'know. Well, I do intend to cook pasta tonight...my special recipe! And if I do, I'm gonna open a bottle of red wine that Angela gave me the other day and enjoy it myself. And I do intend to finish the whole bottle (wink). Either way, I'm gonna open a bottle of wine tonight...I don't care.

2200: Probably be hammered by now! So it'd be a great idea to pick up my Taylor and finally start on my piece. Haven't actually composed a piece before...coz everytime I'm drunk, I'm usually outside doing crazy stuff like talking to fishes and lying on the roads. My theory is....u can never compose a truthful original piece without being drunk as hell....or high. Since I don't do drugs...EVER...alcohol is usually my solution.

2300: Neighbors will start banging on my door, telling me to shut the hell up.

2310: I will start banging my neighbours' doors and start singing the Australian national anthem.

2315: Neighbours start dialing 000.

2325: Cops will start showing up in my doorstep and tell me to shut the hell up or else they'll throw me all the way back to KK, Sabah.

2345: Cops leave my premises and I start to get a li'l sober.

2359: Crawl into bed.

2400: Sound asleep.

Certainly...I do not wish the events from 2300 to 2345 to occur....but I guess u can never know until then. I'll let you know tomorrow if it did happen! Lolz...

You know what guys?? I'd hate to admit this.....but...

I think I need a job!

Awesome Possum

2008-12-09T17:56:00.005+11:00

AWESOME POSSUM!!! Finally...tomorrow's the last day of the Basic Cuisine course. I am proud to announce that I have passed both elements, theory and practical of my exams....with flying colors!! <=== Hmm...not sure bout that. Anywho...I'm just glad that after 10 long and busy weeks, I am finally off the hook. I am finally off the hook from both studies and work!! Isn't it awesome possum?? I'm sorry...I've developed a habit of saying awesome possum all the time.

Sooo...now that I'm totally off the hook from the 2 most stressful parts of my life, I can concentrate on the therapeutic part of my life. GUITAR!! Wooohooo....I'm gonna get a new axe next week!! I can't wait...can't wait at all. I've been doing some research and asking my guitar teacher for advice....I've finally come to a decision that I totally deserve a "Fender Mexican Standard Stratocaster", which is one of these li'l babies...

Awesome possum, eh??? Although I'd so much prefer the American made Fender, but it's way outta my league. As in the price....not my skills! Anyway, which color do you guys prefer? Honestly, I prefer the red one. Maybe coz white is way too common and it gets dirty easily. But the red one is $200 bucks more, and the red one has a maple neck and the white one has a rosewood neck. There's not really a big difference in quality between the two, but it's just whichever I'm more comfortable playing with. At the moment, I'm gonna go with the red one! I actually remember Felix having a white one...it's the exact same model. He treated it like his wife! But of course, I will always be truthful to my Taylor even if I'm getting a Fender. Hehe..

Getting a new axe means starting a whole new chapter in my guitar skills. Instead of playing acoustic songs most of my time, I'm actually gonna start playing leads and guitar solos. I have been playing guitar solos, but unfortunately I had to play on my acoustic Taylor...which doesn't yield the desired sound for guitar solos. OMG...I just quit my job and I'm spending so much money....help me God!!

This weekend is gonna be awesome possum! That's the 5th time I'm using that phrase now...6th if u count the title. Anyway...I'm so gonna have a blast this weekend. First, I'm going out for dinner with a couple of my friends from school at my chef's restaurant on Friday night!! Yes...the chef that hates me! Well...actually, she kinda stopped picking on me now. Maybe coz I stopped sucking and actually rockin' in the kitchen now, baby!! Fine...I lied. I still suck...but not as much. Actually...I still do. Just yesterday, I served a whole chicken the other way round, where the carcass was on top, instead of the breast meat. You have no idea how fuckin' embarassing that was. 10 weeks in the course already and I'm serving chicken upside down?? Damn it Veron!!!

Anywho...back to the weekend blast that I was gonna talk about. And on Saturday is gonna be my hotel's staff christmas party. Although I've quit, I'm still invited to the party. I missed last year's and I totally regretted it. So this year, I'm not gonna miss it no matter what!! This year's theme is "Hawaiian Luau"!! I personally think that it's such a sucky theme....coz damn it...it's christmas! It should be something more christmassy. But then again, christmas in Australia falls on summer. So I guess it's a fair choice. Anyway...I'm totally aiming for this year's lucky draw man!! My hotel has the best lucky draw ever! Well, not sure bout this year, since the economy is so bad nowadays. But last year, they had a plasma TV for the grand prize, and a return ticket to anywhere in Malaysia for the 2nd grand prize. And the list goes on and on. Let's just hope that I get the ticket to Malaysia so that I can come back home for christmas!! Tough chance...I know!!

Alrighty then...I guess I'll catch you guys later! Have a good one, peepz! Cheers!

Procrastination

2008-11-30T11:18:00.002+11:00

Oh my god...I'm procrastinating yet again. What am I doing here, when I'm actually supposed to study for my theory exam. Damn it...I'm such a procrastinator. I've been like that for the past few days. I would do absolutely EVERYTHING but study. I would clean the house (which I normally hate), do my laundry, cook, watch movies, grocery shopping, sleep, just lie on the bed, write my blog, etc....but I just wouldn't sit down and study. What the hell am I doing? So help me God.

It's starting to get really quiet and lonely here in Sydney. Everybody's back in KK or their home country. Sigh...

Well, I don't care, but this year, I'm gonna have a big christmas eve dinner feast here. Now that I've learnt lots of cooking skills, I can actually apply it in real life. Christmas dinner would be my first challenge. Actually, we had a feast last year...and it wasn't half bad. Well, Evan did most of the roasting though...but the turkey was a little under-cooked. I guess this year would be a big improvement. This year, I'll be cooking...and the menu is not gonna be boring like last year. This year...I'm gonna create a menu that is simple in preparation, but delicious in consumption. The only problem is...I really hate my kitchen. It's too small and there's not enough space for me to work around on. Well, I guess I just gotta work with what I've got.

This is why Christmas is my favourite holiday, ya know. All the delicious food and wine. MMmmmMmm...I'm drooling already. I wish we could do this back at home...but this is really not a tradition in my family. Plus, everyone's so damn busy with their own shit, that no one's usually home on Christmas. Ppl used to tell me that I should always associate Christmas with the birth of Jesus Christ and all that shebang....but I think I'm starting to become a bit of an atheist. I might have stopped believing...

Anyway...I really gotta sit my ass down and study. I'll be back later. Have a good one!

Practical exams.....DONE!!!

2008-11-26T19:27:00.002+11:00

PhhhHEEeeEWwwWWw.........

Finally, IT'S OVER!! My practical exams are finally over and done with! I just can't explain how relieved I am. OMG...I was so freakin' nervous this morning. I just couldn't stop fidgeting around. I couldn't stop talking...couldn't stop moving. I was restless....it was as if I had a worm up my ass. But anyway...everything went exceptionally well today. Needless to say, I passed my exam. It's just the final mark I'm pretty anxious about. I don't wanna just get a pass or merit. I wanna get a distinction. But due to the bureaucracy in the administration of my college, I'm only gonna know about my results 3-4 weeks after my next semester starts, which is some time in February. How late is that?!? I wanna know now, damn it.

Any-who...my exams was "Beef Consomme" and "Rack of Lamb with Parsley Crust". Beef Consomme is like a clear soup...very very clear soup. There's no sediments, impurities or fat like normal Asian soups have. It's really clear...like tea without the tea sediments. Like water, but with color. The trick with this dish is, you gotta use egg whites to clear up the soup. The egg whites will bring all the sediments to the surface and it'll just float up there the rest of the time. And then when it's ready, it has to be strained thru a filter paper to ensure that there're no sediments, fat or whatsoever in the soup. That's how clear the soup has to be. It really is an amazing science. I did pretty okay with this entree. My soup was really really clear, has the right color and flavor, and it's free of fat. So I guess I did pretty good with this dish.

As for the main dish, Rack of Lamb with Parsley Crust, I didn't do so well. I didn't seal the lamb with the crust properly. So there were a couple of bald spots. And I so regret using the damn thermometer to measure the temp, so that I get the right doneness. Blood came out of the part where I stuck my thermometer needle in, and it ruined part of my crust. Damn the thermometer. But other than that, everything was not too bad. Wasn't great either. But I guess it's pretty good for a person who has only cooked professionally for the past 8 weeks. My sauce was really good...had the right texture and flavor. And my meat was cooked medium rare...which was the required doneness. And my garnish of potatoes, carrots and turnips were great.

Now that my practical exams are over, I'm gonna have to start studying for my theory. Well, to be honest, I'm pretty confident with my theory. It's not very difficult when you have no problems with English. For the international students who don't really know English, it would definitely be a problem. And you gotta pass theory to pass the course. So there's no escaping there. But I'm kinda aiming for full marks for my theory...if not, then at least in the 90s. So...wish me luck on that.

Other than exams, there's also one major thing that happened in my life. I finally pulled the plug on my job. I resigned last Thursday...and OMG...I was so relieved after that. I was so lightened up and...believe it or not...so much happier. Well, it really is about time that I quit my job....been there for a year and a half, and it has kinda reached the extent where there's really nothing left to learn. I'm really gonna miss my colleagues though...they're great...they're the only ones I'm gonna miss in that job. But I guess I gotta move on someday...so why not now, especially when management is getting so chaotic. So my last day will be on December 7th. After that, I'll be jobless.....for quite a while. I'm gonna take a break for a while. But as far as money concerns, it's quite a worry. I wouldn't have steady income after I quit my job. But I do have some savings with me...should be sufficient for the time being. That guitar lesson is really killing me...200 bucks every month just goes away like that.

I was thinking of going back to KK this Christmas, since I've quit my job and I have around 6 weeks of holiday. But when I checked the air tickets, it's so damn expensive...and then the exchange rate is so low now...I decided not to. I'll stay here and explore the country a bit, as well as practise my cooking and prepare for my next semester. You might think that I'm a little uptight about this, but trust me, cooking is different from studying in Uni. If you don't practise cooking, you'll forget the skill easily. So this is like a skill that has to be practised everyday. If I go back to KK, I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna cook at home...plus it's really hard to find good ingredients there. And there's no oven at home too. So I was like...forget it...just wait till the new house is built, then I'll go back.

Hmm..what else is there to say? Well...Nickelback's new album, Dark Horse is fuckin' awesome!! Best album ever!! You guys should listen to it. And I guess that's it. I'll put up some photos of my classmates and chefs in the next couple of weeks. So...until then, goodbye!

I swear...my chef hates me!

2008-11-18T17:59:00.002+11:00

OMG...my practical exams are up next week and the recipe for the exam is gonna be announced tomorrow. I'm so fucking nervous. I hope it's not that chicken dish where I gotta cut the chicken into 8 pieces...coz honestly, I have no idea how. I'm gonna have to cook 2 dishes for my exams...1 entree and 1 main. I just pray that the main is gonna be something like Braised lamb shanks or Poached ocean trout...just as long as it's not chicken! Oh God...you gotta help me this time.

Anyway, I swear...my practical chef hates me. She's a Philippino lady and she likes to pick on me. And it's not like I'm doing anything wrong or what. Like today, she busted me for taking too many containers to my workstation. I was like...I need it woman. I know how many containers I need and what the fuck...it's just containers!! Why the hell does she care? Another incident today...I was looking for strings to tie up my fillet steak..and it's usually placed on the chef's table in front of the kitchen. And since I didn't see it there, I asked her where it was. And then she raised her voice and said, "Look...there's so many strings there. Open your eyes!", as she pointed towards a little compartment next to the whiteboard. Then I was like...what the fuck woman...what's the strings doing next to the whiteboard? It's supposed to be on the table..or anywhere else that is visible to everyone! I mean...dude...she could've just told me in a nice tone that the strings are right there. She didn't have to give me the third degree. She is such a bitch.

That's the reason why I hate Tuesdays the most. Coz first, I have a shit Demo chef, in which I think she revealed her real sexuality by accident in class today. She said, "My partner's husband was bla bla bla...." So by partner's husband, I think her partner should be a woman? So she's a lesbo. Eugghhh...I hate lesbians. Can't stand them...never wanna be around them. I hate gays too...especially the gurl gays aka the fish. They are so fuckin' annoying...and they're total bitches. They're even bitchier than gurls. The funniest thing was...nobody actually realized that she said that....it's either that or they didn't understand her. Hahaha!! Coz my course is full of Asians who can't understand English very well.

And another reason I hate Tuesdays is because of this practical chef that always picks on me for no reason. I don't mind if she kicks my ass for something that I did wrong...but she normally picks on me for no reason. I'm glad that the semester is ending soon. Coz come next semester, I'm probably not gonna have her as my practical chef no more. But if I do, it sure is gonna be a test of my patience. I just gotta learn how not to lose my temper if she keeps getting on my nerves. I'm not exactly a very patient person...or a person who can take up constant ass-kicking. I normally burst after it reaches the limit...and when it does, it's like a volcano eruption that can be difficult to put out.

As for my head chef, Steve, I love him so much! He's the best chef in the world. In my opinion, I think he's better than Gordon Ramsay....oh well, in some ways. He's very strict...but he's reasonable you know. As long as you follow his set of rules, you're fine. And he's always happy to answer our questions, no matter how stupid it is. His demos are always a thrill...very insightful and interesting. You just can't fall asleep in his class, no matter how tired you are. His voice just keeps me awake and his teaching style motivates me to learn. Basically, he's awesome!

Well, he kinda likes to pick on me too...but in a nice way u know. Like during the beginning of the semester, someone asked about what's the difference between calamari and squid. Then he asked me and this dude to stand up for some role playing. He picked me as calamari and the other dude as squid and we had to act like whatever we were. And it was hilarious u know. So from then on, ppl call me Miss Calamari. It was really embarassing, especially during the first couple of weeks. And then there was another time when he picked me again for his role playing. This time, he wanted to explain why goats produce less milk than a cow. So there he goes...he picked me again for his li'l role play. I was the goat...and he picked this huge massive guy to act as the cow. And he said, "Do you see the difference between these two? Not the gender. The size!!!" Everyone was laughing their asses off...even I was laughin' my ass off...but at the same time I was embarrassed to death. Then he said, "So obviously the cow is gonna produce more milk than the goat because the cow is bigger than a goat." And from then on, I became "The Goat"! Random ppl start calling me "Goat", even if I don't know who they are. Way to go to be popular....in a really stupid way.

And then yesterday, Chef Steve picked on me once again in his li'l animal kingdom role plays. We cooked Venison yesterday... and we used the tenderloin part. So some dude asked where the tenderloins are...and Chef Steve was like..."Come come you...stand up!!" He pulled my hand while I resisted. The whole class was laughin' already. And then he pointed at me and said, "Okay...this is Bambi here!" At first, only a few ppl got it, coz u know, freakin' asians don't watch Bambi. Then after some explanation on what it is, they finally got it and laughed. And then he said, "The tenderloin is this part here", while pointing to my back muscles. It was hilarious...I was really laughin' my ass off coz it was so freakin' embarrassing! I mean...wtf...3 times in a row he made me role play an animal. What...he sees me as food or sumthing? And now...my permanent nick name is Bambi! The funniest thing was...there's this Korean guy who never knew what my name was, even though we're pretty chatty with each other. He kept calling me Bambi...and at one stage, he came and ask me..."Actually, what's your name? I never knew it!" I just burst out laughing after that.

I'm glad to finally get some laughs in school...as compared to the first couple of weeks where everyone was so uptight and serious. Even I'm starting to chill a little and let out my true colors. I'm referring to my craziness. And I'm really starting to get the hang of it. I remember when I first started, I was a complete klutz and I was as slow as a snail. But now, I'm really confident at what I'm doing and I'm not the last one no more. In fact, I'm one of the first ones now to finish my dishes. I can't believe I've improved so much. I guess hard work and determination pays well.

Alright, I gtg now. I'm gonna post up another one tomorrow and I'm gonna reveal the exam dishes I gotta make. Have fun guys! Catch you later.

Friends Never After

2008-11-13T04:21:00.003+11:00

Hi guys, yet again. This is gonna be a short one. Today was great...I was great in class. I was fast and most importantly, on time. I was one of the first ones to serve the food up to my chef and she said I did great today. She's glad...I'm glad. So anyway, I had a great day.

You ever wonder 'bout all this friends forever shit? Well, I did...today. There's this friend I've known since kindergarten and he was my best friend back then. We were great together as friends, up until primary 4 when we started hanging out with other friends. Then we were friends again in form 3 and we even played in a band together. We talked about everything...God, relationship, problems, music, yada yada. I loved it. The friendship was real...it almost felt like it was unbreakable.

Then comes high school graduation, we went our separate ways. We never contacted each other after that, unless we were back home in KK. Even that, we never really preserved that sorta bond....that friendship like it was before. We were more like long lost friends trying to get to know each other again. I was okay with that back then, coz at least we still msn each other once in a while or even talk on the phone.

But when time goes on and on, we stopped doing that. We were out of each other's life. We were like strangers to each other. We're worse than hi-bye friends...mainly becoz we never contacted each other at all. But every once in a while, I would send him an email asking him how he was doing....but I will never ever ever get a reply from em'. Not even a late one. So from then on, I stopped emailing him.

Then one fine day, he sent me an email to an address which I rarely use and he asked how I was doing and shit like that. Then I go, Okay...he's reaching out to me and I guess he wants to know how I'm doing and all. So I replied his email and told him about the changes in my life. Like how I dropped outta uni and am going to culinary school. And how I've been taking guitar lessons for a year now and it's been great. You know...catch-up stuff. To be honest, I got really excited hearing from him, coz he was one of my closest friends and I really missed the times we shared as friends. The jamming, the arguments, the annoying stuff he did, and everything else.

So I was kinda expecting him to reply my email and perhaps even tell me how his life had been. I actually checked my inbox that I rarely use EVERYDAY...which I normally don't. I usually check that inbox on a monthly basis. So after about 2 weeks, I gave up. I didn't check that inbox ever again for his reply....up until today. I was kinda crossing my fingers about it. But once again, I was disappointed.

It's been more than a month now since I replied his email, and there's no sign of him anywhere. Frankly, I am very upset about it. Because...what the fuck...we've been friends for like...more than a decade!! Like 16 years man!! And is this how you treat a friend?? Well, I don't expect gifts and flowers....and hell no, I don't even expect him to wish me happy birthday on my birthday, but what I hope at least is for him to reply my fuckin' emails.

So just a while ago, I sent him quite a short but in-your-face kinda email. Basically, I told him that he shouldn't send me anymore emails out of the blue and when I reply, he's just gonna disappear like a ghost and not reply to it. I know it's quite a random sorta email to send to him, but I just want him to know that he shouldn't forget about his friends so quickly. It took us 16 years to build our friendship, but just a couple of years to kill it. It really does start to sound like a cliche.

I don't know why it's such a big deal to me. I know I sometimes do it to my own friends as well. Sometimes I forget about them. I think last year I forgot 'bout Jacq's birthday...but then I did remember it a couple of days later. But once again...I'm not expecting him to remember my b'day or anything like that. But I just wanna keep in touch and update ourselves with each other. But he's like this phantom that comes and goes whenever he wants. I really hate that. It's either you come or you go. I don't care if it goes either way....just don't pretend and ask about me and then ignore it.

So I guess friends are not forever after all. And life still goes on after that. So there's no point to be grieving about it. And I'm not in grief. I'm just a li'l upset 'bout it. Anyway, that's all I gotta say today. I'm sure some of you would know who I'm talking about...and I'm sure you guys have had the same experience. But life goes on anyway. So I'll catch you guys later! Bye!

p/s: It's not a short post, I know. But it's the shortest among all of my posts! Hehe! *winK*

Born a musician, made a cook...

2008-11-11T16:23:00.002+11:00

I'm really tired today...after a long long day of class. Today we made soup and soup and.....soup again! We made 3 types of soups today. Pumpkin soup, Crab Bisque and Cold pureed Beetroot soup. I thought the pumpkin soup was kinda unique, coz we served it in a little pumpkin, instead of a bowl. Forgot to take a picture of it...actually my camera is fucked, so I can only take pictures with my cell, which is a lousy piece of shit. My Crab Bisque was the best!! It had the right texture, color and flavor. Chef said it needed more seasoning...which is true...but coming from my family, we normally have bland food...so my palette still needs some work in identifying whether or not the food is bland or just right. I was one of the 5 ppl in my class who managed to produce a "pass" crab bisque. So I was really proud of myself. The only flaw was...I was too slow.

Chef had a small talk with me, mainly about my work flow and speed. She said the food that I cook is really good, but it's way past the service time. She's kinda worried that I'm gonna run outta time during the exams because I've been so slow since Day 1. Actually, that's kinda a big worry for me too and that's why I've been so stressed out about my exams. I'm not worried bout my theory at all, although it's a 13-page written exam. But I am worried about my practical part. I'm so scared that I'd screw up, panic, and flunk my practical.

Honestly, I have no frickin' idea why I'm so damn slow in completing the dishes. I mean, I got started pretty quickly and then it just sorta died off...I don't know how...don't know why. Actually, I still can't accept myself for being slow. Coz I'm normally quite fast in doing stuff...anything...I drive fast, eat fast, walk fast, write fast, etc. My reflex is pretty fast, that's what I realized. But the only thing is...I'm such a slow thinker. MY BRAINS...MY FUCKIN' BRAINS are so fuckin' slow that sometimes, I just feel like smashing it against the wall. And damn it...I just can't remember stuff anymore, like I used to. Am I getting fuckin' old or what?

But then again, I guess this is the difference between having talent and not having talent. People who have talent in something just picks up fast and becomes very natural at what they do. I, for one, do not have talent in cooking, whatsoever! Finally, I'm admitting this. I have no fuckin' talent in cooking. All I have is desire and passion. Sometimes I do wonder if that's enough in order to be successful. I'm just not born for this shit,...I know that. I'm no Gordon fuckin Ramsay. I'm more to Slash or Jimmy Page...or Bonnie Raitt. I was born to play music, not fuckin' cook.

I sometimes hate it when my guitar teacher compliments me bout my playing. It feels good at that moment, but when you think about it afterwards, it makes me wonder whether I've made the right decision in becoming a chef. It makes me feel like...why the fuck am I in culinary school? I should be in a fuckin' music school for shit's sake. With all the shit that I can play, and with my talent and determination, I could be a rockstar. I could be recording in a studio in Hollywood right now, with famous ppl and shit.

But then again, it could go the other way. I could become a rockstar-wannabe...who keeps on dreamin' and dreamin' 'bout being one that I just throw my whole life away. Some ppl just keep chasin' n chasing their dreams....but never capture them. Just like heroin. You just keep chasing the fuckin' dragon...but you can never catch it. Then it all becomes like an addiction. An addiction to chasing dreams that can never be captured. And I guess this is why I'm in culinary school.

I'm not saying that I'm gonna give up on music...hell no baby! I'm still hoping that one day, I could be in the music business. Or at least one day when I'm filthy rich, then I can open my own record company, scout for talent and become the producer for these talented artists. Or...I could just play gigs on weekends or special functions as a part-time thing, ya know. Something like that. Or maybe even teach...I don't know...it might happen! My point is...I just don't wanna spend all my time and money chasing and chasing for something that might turn into an addiction. Like devoting into something that might not yield any positive results.

However, I won't deny the fact that I was definitely born to be a musician! I'm definitely meant for that. I mean...I sure as hell wasn't born to draw....HAHAHA!! A fuckin' cow-dog?? Anyway...it's just a shame that I didn't have the opportunity to actually become one. If you ask me...hell yeah, I'm a li'l bitter about it...but what can I do about it, right? And then again, cooking isn't so bad after all. Maybe it'll take me twice as much hard work to be successful in it, due to the lack of talent, but it'll do. It'll happen for me. I know it will...someday. I can see myself running a kitchen in the future. I can see myself running my own restaurant someday. And I can definitely see myself happy in being a chef.

A friend said to me a few days ago...

"A person should change careers for at least 2 times in his/her life. This way, they get to know themselves better and achieve different experiences in life, and they won't have to wonder what's it gonna be like if they were somethin' else."

I reckon this statement is so true. I mean...how the fuck can you just be an accountant throughout your whole life? Or how the hell can you just be a cop forever? Or a teacher? A doctor? An engineer? Don't u sometimes wonder what's it like to be somethin' else other than what you are right now? Well, if you don't, then you're either a very contented person or you're just too afraid to think about it. I honestly think that this question definitely pops up in every adult's mind...maybe not yet, but definitely in the future.

Alright, I guess that's enough philosophy for the day. I hope all these don't sound too gibberish to you...coz if you understand what I mean, there's some truth to what I've been saying. Okay...I'll see u again in the next post.

The Fear

2008-11-06T08:55:00.002+11:00

What is Fear? According to the dictionary, "fear" is defined as a feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the presence of imminence and danger. Therefore, I fit into this verbal expression. I'm currently in fear. Of what, you might ask?

Answer: EXAMS!!!

However, after long scrutiny, I found out that Exam is not the main thing that I'm fearful of. It's the consequences of the exam that I'm fearful of. You know how consequences can go both ways. Either good or bad. I'm afraid of failure. I'm afraid of doing something that has an unpredictable consequence. I wouldn't do something unless I have at least 90% confidence that I will be successful in that field.

For example, back in high school, we were all forced to take Art as an SPM subject. Thanks to that muthafuckin' biatch by the name of Wong Mee Kiong aka Mrs Soon!! Whoops sorry..I mean Dr Soon. WTF...until now I still dunno she holds a phD in what??? Maybe phD in mentally abusing high school kids! LoLz!! Anyway, back to the subject, the commerce stream class were forced to take Art as an SPM subject. And if you know me well enough, I draw like an elephant with a pencil. Most of you probably didn't know 'bout this. I had a talk with that bitch in her office. That was in Form 5, and my attitude didn't stink as much as when I was in Form 3 and 4. Back in Form 3 n 4, I would've just barked and yelled at her and demanded for what I want. Just like the accounting subject incident. I was a dog that doesn't bite back then.

But in form 5 when I grew up a li'l, I had a very mental conversation with her. When I say mental, I mean like an intense choose-your-words-carefully kinda convo. She was telling me that I should try and work hard on Art so that I can get good marks. But I told her that Art isn't something that you can just work hard and be good at. It requires talent. It's like music...and crafting...and even cooking. You need talent in Art to Ace in that. And obviously back then, I was aiming for fuckin' straight Aces. And maybe some occassional Bs. But sure as hell, I wasn't aiming for a C or D or just a fuckin' Pass. And I was sure as hell that I wouldn't do good in Art. So I told her that I didn't wanna take that as an SPM subject. We were both stubborne mules...so none of us gave in. But somehow...I was still very calm. I didn't lose my temper like I would've. So I told her that she can enrol me in whatever subjects she wants, but I won't attend the exams for Art. I told her that I would be absent in that subject. And she tried to threaten me and say if I'm absent, I will get a fail for my SPM. But I knew better back then. All I would get in my cert is just an X for absent...just for that subject. And X is not a fail. It just simply means absent.

Do you know the reason for telling this story? No..not because I want you to hate Pauline Soon. Coz I know you guys hate her already. Lolz. This story tells you how FEARFUL I am towards failure. I am so afraid of failure that I would be absent (which is something far worse than failure) for an exam that I'm enrolled in. I don't take failure very well. I remember the first time I failed in something, was when I was in Foundation...I failed math. I got 2 or 3 out of 20. You have no idea how that affected me. I couldn't tell nobody...coz I'm ashamed of my failures. So I kept it inside...and today I'm spilling it out. Not because I want fuckin' symphathy....don't even think of sympathizing me thru your comments...I'll just resent it more.

I keep count of my failures...or at least those that affect me. And according to my count, I have failed so many times that I've hit rock bottom. I'm not gonna name em'....coz obviously I don't want you to know. Lolz. But, all I can say is, another failure in my life means nuthin' to me no more. I've heard one say before, "When you've hit rock bottom in your life, you've got nuthin' to lose no more!" That's actually from "Two and a half men"...the comedy series. Haha...but it makes sense, no?

But I can tell you honestly that I'm so fearful that I would fail my exams for this course. Yesterday, my chef was talking about the exams, and trust me, it's not a walk in the park. It's very very hard. I can say that Uni exams are easier than this. Because with Uni exams, you can study hard..and if you don't, it's your fuckin' fault. But with cooking, you only got one shot. Once you screw up the damn chicken or fish, you won't get another and they fail you immediately. So I'm very very nervous about the exams, although it's 2 weeks away. I just hope that when the day comes, it'll be a good day for me. But if I fail, I'm not gonna be as affected as before like in Foundation when I fail math, because now, I'm totally immuned with that feeling of failure. But I know I won't fail...I've worked hard, God is not that mean to me.

Alright, laptop is running out of batt. Will put up the next post when something interesting comes up. Have a good one. Later....

Got issues?

2008-11-01T18:34:00.004+11:00

So...I did yet another graveyard shift last night, and another one again tonight, and damn it....I didn't know frickin' Aussies celebrate Halloween's?? I thought it was just in the American culture to celebrate Haloween's. Anyway...It was a damn busy night and as usual, I lost my temper, swore and threw stuff around. Cutlery, plates, trays, etc...you name it!! You see...I'm a person who manages stress by throwing stuff around...and if I could, I would throw that stupid stewarding guy who splashed a bucket of water right in front of me and wet my shoes all around. Fuck that Indian-bangladeshi guy! He's a "bokka chotta", which means "sister-fucker" in the Bengal language. I don't mean to be offensive or discriminative towards them...it's just that most of the time, they don't use their frickin' brains which the Almighty God has gifted us. Or perhaps it's "Allah" to them!

And the worse thing was, there was nobody doing room service in the morning shift that day, and normally, the morning shift person stocks up everything in preparation for dinner and overnight service. So, there was NOTHIN' stocked up for the entire day. No wine glasses, no water glasses, no milk, no juices, no nuthin'!! This is all the works of my great hard-workin' piece of shit restaurant manager (who is an Indian) who couldn't find anyone to cover the morning shift when another "Indian" colleague of mine who was supposed to work that shift, but called in sick the night before. And I don't think he's sick at all! He's probably just having too much action with his gay partner and didn't wanna come in to work. Got fucked too hard up his ass, y'know wat I mean?! Anyway, I don't wanna talk about work no more. I think I'm finally getting enough of Stamford. I have decided to start looking for a new job! A chef job.

NEW TOPIC: RANDOM SHIT GOING THRU MY MIND

So, lots of stuff has been going around in my egg shaped head(that's what they say). I read this article the other day and it was about a man who got arrested for hitting and abusing his kids at home. Like corporal punishment u know...just like the good ol' days where the leather belt or the cane is the solution to all problems with kids at home. I'm sure you know what I mean. I was reading the article and there were lots of opinions on corporal punishment, and personally, I think parents whacking their kids is just the perfect way for kids to associate fear and pain with them. Oh don't get me wrong, I think it's a great idea to hit your kids to make them listen to ya...but possible side effects would be...hhmmm lemme see...they probably would hate you and will never be as close to you as you'd wish to be. And don't even expect them to tell you anything going on in their lives becoz why the fuck do they wanna talk about it with ppl who would hit them? Am I right or what??!!

Oh don't even get started with the, "Your father hit you becoz he loves you" piece of shit jargon. Or, "Your mother hit you with a cane becoz she doesn't want you to be bad" piece of irritating statement. I often find it sooooo funny when ppl say that you know....and I practically LAUGH OUT LOUD whenever the parents themselves say this to their kids! I mean...REALLY....I LAUGH SOOOOOO LOUD whenever I hear this. And after I laugh, I just go, "Fuck off!" Like "Get outta here!" kinda response u know...because I find this impossible to be true. Lemme give you a reality check...there are only a handful of reasons why parents hit their kids.

1. They're drunk and high when their kids piss em' off.

2. The kids really annoyed and pissed the hell outta them and BOOOOOMMMMMMM...there you go...Hiroshima bomb!

3. The parents are extremely short-tempered and are too fuckin' lazy to search for other methods to handle their kids. So they hit em'! You know...always the easy way out with human beings! Temporary solution. Just to shut em' up.

4. These parents have a very unhappy marriage and they take it out on their kids!

5. And finally, these parents are not fit to become parents at the first place.

AM I FUCKIN' RIGHT OR WHAT???!!! Huh?? Tell me.....AM I FUCKIN' RIGHT??!!

Soo...whenever these fuckin' clueless and mindless morons come and tell ya the "Your parents hit you becoz they love you" piece of script, I urge you to SHOW THEM THE FINGER AND TELL THEM TO FUCK OFF AND GO FUCK THEMSELVES, alright? Becoz there is no such thing as that!!! NO SUCH THING!!! NADA!!!

So after reading that article, I felt soooo relieved for the kids who were the victims. And serves him right for doing that at the first place. And may he stay in jail for as long as it takes to drive him nuts. But I don't think they're gonna put him in jail though...coz you know the Australian legal system...it's so fuckin' lenient. It's not like fuckin' Asia or America where the sentences are usually brutal. I always say this to ppl, "If you wanna commit a crime, do it in Australia!"

I realized that I used lots of "Fucks" today in my blog. Ah well...I've been watching "The Sopranos" lately and let's just say that the tv show makes you say fuck like it was the word, "I". Plus, I've been under a lot of stress lately as well. So I curse my heart out whenever I'm stressed out, but I really hope that one day I can learn to handle my stress and anger in the proper way. I just might go to yoga or tai-chi...stuff like that u know...just to calm the soul a li'l. Or maybe just play a bit more jazz music...lolz! If not, I think I might die of a heart attack by age 40...which I don't mind, as long as I've accomplished all my dreams!

By now, you might think that I'm probably an angry biatch who can't stop being mad at the world. Well, truth be told, YES I AM VERY ANGRY AT THE WORLD. Frankly, I wish that I weren't brought into this world at all...becoz if I wasn't here, I wouldn't have to witness all the terrible things that are happening...BOTH IN MY LIFE AND IN THE WORLD!!! But what the fuck can I do about it, right?? All I can do is do my li'l teeny weeny part and get on with it. Fuck me...I just realized that I've wasted one hour of my time doing something that wouldn't matter at all....which is writing this post!! AHhhh forget it....life is definitely not something worth thinkin' too hard about. I'm out...Later!

My Signature "3 Finger-up" Pose

2008-10-28T18:27:00.010+11:00

DO YOU HAVE A SIGNATURE POSE THAT YOU WILL ALWAYS DO WHENEVER SOMEONE TAKES YOUR PICTURE?

Well....I DO!!!

This thought just came to me all of a sudden when I realized that I always put up that distinct hand pose whenever I'm in a picture. That "3 finger-up" hand pose...thumb, index and pinky. The so called "I love you" hand sign. But trust me...I don't mean that at all!! I just happen to put up that hand gesture everytime someone snaps a photo of me.

Here it goes...it starts with a li'l subtle pose like this one!

And then the hand goes higher up with the same pose and blocks someone else's face

And now it's becoming a li'l more obvious!

And here comes with both hands tangled with that 3 finger sign. WHAT IS UP WITH THAT??

And this is my favorite. I was on a bench...trying to prove to my colleagues that I wasn't drunk by trying to walk in a straight line. Obviously I fell after 3 steps! Still managed to snap a shot though. Not bad, not bad!!

As for this one...I think I was caught in between two minds. I didn't know whether to flash the sign or not...so I put up my hand, and flashed the fingers halfway!

Sighh...even when I'm not looking at the camera, my signature pose presents itself!

Oops, what happened to my pinky?

Okay okay...I see where u're getting at...maybe they're just coincidences, and you might think that it's totally planned. Let me assure you of the originality of this pose by showing the next and final picture!

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This picture was taken 3 years ago when we were in Kudat!! 3 years ago baby...I can't be makin' this up, can I????

I can't believe that after so many years, I've only just realized that I have a signature pose! LOLZ...!! I've never really noticed it...coz I really have no frickin' idea. HAVE YOU ALWAYS KNOWN THAT I MAKE THIS POSE WHENEVER I'M IN A PICTURE, AND NOT TELL ME ABOUT IT????!!!

Sighh...I think I'm running out of ideas about this blog thing that I'm starting to post crappy and lame topics....like this one! Anyhoo...I'm gonna have to go now! Later, ppl!!

Crazy-ness

2008-10-22T21:22:00.006+11:00

Hi guys, I'm back once again to haunt your cyber life! I'm gonna start with some words, and then some crazy semi-explicit pictures that should only be viewed by mature audiences! It's not porn, you perve!

Soo...my last three days have been quite exhausting. My practical classes were craazzeee...and when I say craazeee...I mean it! I haven't done particularly well in my previous 2 classes...but I'm just glad that it's over for the week. I don't wanna go into details...coz I'm pretty bummed out at the moment that I'm starting to doubt my capabilities as a chef. Ahh what the heck...it's never gonna be an easy journey, that's fer sure.

OKAY...change of topic. Last Saturday, I got so frickin' drunk that I don't even recognize my mom anymore. Ahh...I don't even recognize her when I'm not drunk. BAD ANALOGY! Anyway...it was my manager's bachelor cum bachelorette party. The reason why it's "cummed" is becoz both occasions were celebrated together as a whole. Here are some pictures of me and my crazy ass colleagues.

Lemme just start with something milder...that's me in my work uniform, with two bottles of pineapple juice from the room service fridge. I was bringing pineapple juice into one of the bedrooms. And yes...I committed "theft" and broke a rule that can get myself fired from the job...and this photo is clear evidence! Yea yea...Anyone who wants to rat me out can use this picture against me...or they can simply use it as leverage against me. Damn it....It's just pineapple juice for shit's sake.

This is me and Cheryll in the picture. She's Filipino and she's one of my room service mates. We're pretty tight at work...and damn it...she was so drunk that night that she tipped over my pineapple juice for no reason, and laughed by herself. FACT: "It wasn't even funny!"

This is a little group photo of my colleagues and I. From the top left, it's Margarita and Vilisi. Middle left to right, Edward, Kim, Raghu and Cindy who is one of my managers. And there's Cheryll and I at the bottom. Margarita, Vilisi and Cheryll are from room service and Kim is a chef. Edward and Raghu are the restaurant staff.

Now, to the juicier pictures. That's me with the ever famous LOBSTER FACE when I'm drunk. I was pretty hammered that night even though I had only a couple of beers. Usually two beers is nothin' for me. But I guess I was really exhausted that night after a busy service.

Another picture of my lobster face!

Introducing the craziest guy in the party....JURO LUSTIG!! Yes Yes...it's a dildo down his throat!! And no no...he ain't gay! Juro was just crazy ass drunk man. I bet he couldn't forgive himself for shoving that dildo down his throat after he got sober! Lolz! I wonder is that how they party at Slovakia? He's from there.

That's a picture of me and Juro dancing together. He was just dancing with ALL the gurls throughout the night. ALL of the gurls....ALL AT ONCE!! And the gurls were just crazy 'bout him....except me of course. I'm never crazy 'bout anybody...except for Kiefer Sutherland and Gordon Ramsay! REPHRASE...I'm never crazy 'bout anybody that is actually "real" in my life!

Those two were actually the "main casts" of the night, RAJA and SELINA...but I guess Juro stole all their thunder! Haha! Actually I kinda felt bad for them...coz Raja was constantly telling us to "shush" coz we were making too much noise in the rooms. And someone from the party got so drunk and had to work the next morning...he called in sick and Raja had to arrange for another staff to work the shift. Btw, their both Malaysians. Raja is from Perak and Selina is from Sarawak! She's like cino-Iban. Obviously Raja is Indian.

This is a picture of Raja wearing the "G-string" that has a donkey face on the crotch! Part of the money that we chipped in for his gift was dedicated to that G-string. I thought it was a waste of money.

Now this is a picture of me and Shristi. Shristi is from Nepal and she's also one of my pretty tight mates from work. She's also Raja's housemate. I was so drunk that I could't drive home...so I crashed at her place that night.

These are the guys from work! From the left, it's Brandon...he's an ex-employee of stamford, but he's still pretty tight with us. Then it's Cindy, one of my managers, Tim and Edward. OMG...u had no idea how drunk Brandon was. He claimed to have a whole bottle of Vodka by himself. Anyway, when the party ended, Shristi, Brandon and I were wandering around outside the hotel. Then Brandon said, "I'll walk the two of u home!" And then I said, "OKAY!" Then halfway crossing the road, I had the urge to lie on the road. I asked Brandon, "Do u feel like lying on the road? Lie down with me!" He said, "No Veron...it's dangerous! Don't do it!" Then I was like, "Really???!! And I just fell on the road and lied there for like 10 seconds! It was one of the busiest roads in Sydney...it's on the way to the airport!! WUakakak! And I was like, "See...it's not that dangerous! You should've lied down wit me!" Brandon and Shristi were just laughing at me! And though he was drunk, he wasn't actually that crazy to have lied down on the road wit me. I was actually sobering up at that time...but I guess it's just my craziness that kicked in!

That's Tim and Kim! I love to say their names together! TIM AND KIM...TIM AND KIM...TIM AND KIM!!! Nice! And lookie there....guess who's the third wheel at the back?! Hehe!

Spot Veron in this picture!!! (Hint: Look for the foot!)

Just a picture of Cindy, me and Shristi! I dunno why my eyes are squinted! I guess it's the flash! U know how drunk ppl hate flashin' lights!

I still have lots of pictures...but I'm just too lazy to upload them! But I guess it's enough for your entertainment today! hehe! Wanna know a secret?? I wasn't actually drunk at the party, although everyone thought that I was. They assumed that I was drunk just becoz I was really crazy that night. They don't actually know that I'm actually a natural crazy person, hence that nickname I got from Teacher Dee Dee in primary school...."CRAZY GURL." I just needed a little alcohol to kick start my craziness! I guess my workmates don't know me very well. I mean dude...it was just 2 beers! Veron drunk from 2 beers?? Ya wish!!!

Alright kiddos! I'll see ya next time! Hope u enjoyed the pictures! Have a good one! Cheers!

p/s: I got so into The Eagles and Bon Jovi since the past few days! They are frickin' awesome!!

Happiest moment of my life

2008-10-18T02:41:00.005+11:00

Have you ever sat back and think about when was the last time you were so happy that nothing in the whole world could ruin that precious moment?? I mean...not even a single thing could ruin it...not even failing your exams....not even getting fired....not even breaking up with your partner.....not even getting robbed....not even losing every single penny in the casino, and not even getting accused of something that you were not guilty of. I actually thought about this for a long long time...and I found out that the last time I actually felt like I was on top of the world was when I got my Taylor 714ce guitar about two years ago. OMG...can't believe my little Taylor is 2 years old already. Sigh....they grow up so fast.

Anyway, when was the happiest moment of my life, you might ask?

It was on October 17th 2008 at about 4.13pm that defined the happiest moment of my entire life. This was the moment when my guitar teacher, Harry Gusman, said to me in the following words:

"Veron, I wanna propose a challenge to you. I have a gig in March, and maybe I want you to play guitar in my band....only if you want to and only if I think you are ready. I'm going to choose between you and another student of mine through an audition. What do you think?"

These were the exact (not really) words that came out of his mouth. And the only words that came out of mine were "......."! None...nada...zilch. I had trouble processing the words...I mean I understood what he was saying the entire time, but I just had trouble believing and actually making sense out of it. After an awkwardly long pause, I finally muttered, "Cool!" COOL????? Was that all I could think of to say? What the hell is wrong with me???!!! Couldn't I be more excited and go, "OMG...really? You really want me to play your gig? U really think I'm good enough? I'm so happy that you believe in me, Harry! Thanks for the opportunity" But hell no....all I could say was a very cool "Cool!"

Nevertheless, I was soooooo damn happy that he gave me this opportunity. You have no idea how much I've wanted this....you have no damn idea!! All my life, I've only been hoping to perform on stage one more time...just like Talentime in high school. I want that rush back....I need it to gain back my confidence. This is not just some high school garage band gig....this is a professional gig...where I actually jam with professional musicians who can play songs like "Sweet child of mine" by Guns & Roses and "Cocaine" by Eric Clapton without making mistakes. OMG...did I go way over my head?! Can I actually handle this?? But then again, my guitar teacher wouldn't ask me if he didn't think I can handle it. I mean...why the hell did he pick me out of his dozens and dozens of students if he didn't think I was good, right? Right!

Well, truth to be told, I'm actually a favorite student of his. LOLZ!! NO NO...I don't gosok his kasut...or kiss his ass...He just thinks I'm very talented and he wants to teach me the best he could, so that he can get the satisfaction, and so that I will improve on my guitar skills...so it's worth the money I pay every month. It's a lot of money ya know...it's about 40% of my month's pay. Aha...no wonder I don't have much savings....DUH!!!

Anyways, I can truly say from the bottom of my heart that this is the moment I've been waiting all along. You see, my life has been very miserable ever since I've come to Sydney. I've felt lonely, left out, caught in between cultures, stressed out, challenged, and been thru lots of changes. I understand that all of these are part of growing up to be an adult...but I guess there are some parts of my life as a child that I wanna keep in my life, even if it's too childish for an adult. For example, I still love looking and shopping for stationery even if I don't need it, especially colored pencils....I still love looking at kid's toys such as board games, legos, puzzles, etc...I still love reading children's story books such as fairy tales like Cinderella, Hansel & Gretel....I still love eating candy that I've eaten as a child....and nevertheless, I still love to play guitar just like I did back in high school.

It would be such a major turning point of my life if I get to play the gig. OH PLEASE LORD....LET ME BE THE ONE!! I WANT THIS SO BAD!! SOOOOO BADDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!! I WOULD TOTALLY GIVE UP EVERYTHING FOR THIS GIG!! EVERYTHING!!! ALL MY MONEY...MY PRIDE...MY TIME...MY JOB...EVEN COOKING!!

Oh my God...HAVE I MADE THE WRONG DECISION TO MAKE COOKING AS MY CAREER???? OMG OMG OMG!!! Fuck no....VERON, GET THIS THOUGHT OUTTA YOUR HEAD RIGHT NOW!!!! Remember!! You love your hobby more than your career, okay???!!! Which means that you love to play guitar more than cooking...which is why playing guitar should always be your hobby!! Never your career. You can hate your job, but never your hobby! Shove this thought into your brain right now, Veron!

I'm sorry...sometimes I like to monologue! Anyway...to sum up...my guitar teacher offered me to play guitar at his gig. I'm truly honored..and very excited! I really wish I would get this, instead of the other person. I am very motivated to practise three times as hard as I would normally do. Usually I would practise about an hour in two days. So starting today, I'm gonna start practising at least 2 hours everyday...NO EXCUSES!! Doesn't matter if I'm too tired....doesn't matter if I'm gonna miss out on my sleep (I'm insomniac anyway). Bottom line is, I am gonna work very hard to top this audition! Wish me luck, guys....and definitely pray for me! Thanks for sharing my joy...have a good one! See ya next time!

Insomnia

2008-10-16T01:28:00.007+11:00

YESSZZ!! It's finally Wednesday, which is the final day of class for the week. You have no idea how much of a relief this is. Getting up at 6am in the morning just isn't a bit of fun at all. As usual, I went to college at 6.30am in the morning, and I made some "Mushroom Chaussons" and "Poached Pear" today. Mushroom Chaussons is just like curry puffs, except that the filling is a mixture of mushrooms, ham, foie gras (duck's liver) and parsley. As usual again, mine wasn't as successful. It didn't puff too well for me this time...the puff folds were too minimal. However, my poached pear was great. My chef was impressed with my pear. She said that the texture is perfect and the apricot glaze was just right. Not too sweet and chunky...just perfect. So I guess today isn't such a bad day after all.

The reason for my title today is because I haven't had much sleep for the past three days. I think I have insomnia...sleep disorder. My body is tired, and yes I do feel sleepy, but I just can't fall asleep. Even after I closed my eyes and thought I'm asleep, I'm actually not...coz I could still hear the bass pumps produced from Bryant's subwoofer in the next room....crystal clear. I wanted to ask him to turn down a notch, but was too lazy to get up. But I knew that wasn't the main reason that I couldn't fall asleep. It was me...purely me.

I HAVE INSOMNIA!!

How to treat insomnia? WTF...I'm no doctor. All I know is I could pop a pill and sleep like a baby. But I don't wanna pop a pill. I wanna sleep naturally. But as I had time to think about it today, I believe this is the beginning of a chef's life. Why do I say that? Coz chefs never have enough sleep...they never do...not that they don't wanna...it's just that they can't. They gotta work like 12-18 hours a day, and that's like 6 hours of sleep? Well...what about taking shower, eat, and shit? That'll probably take another hour. So that's 5 hours of the day left to sleep. It's true...I'm not exaggerating. You can ask any chef in the world...they will tell u the same thing.

I know I know...I haven't reached that level where I work 18 hours a day. But I probably will encounter this in the future. So like I said, this is the beginning of a chef's life. Long working hours, short or no breaks, stressful environment and sleepless nights. That's worse than being an inmate. Except that there's no satisfaction in being an inmate. But as a chef, there's satisfaction to gain every single day after a successful and productive service, no matter how tiring it is. That's why I chose this career.

So when I got back from college today at around 3pm, I crashed straight away until about 10pm. And yet I'm still tired. It's all the accummulated fatigue from previous days. And I still gotta work tomorrow. DAMN IT. Life is hard.

I know life as a chef is very hard...but I've learnt something from an episode of Scrubs last night.

"Anything that doesn't require hard work is not worth having at all."

I think this quote has a strong truth to it. It makes a lot of sense. If something is hard to get, then it must be something very valuable. Same case to being a chef. If it's hard being a chef, then it must a great thing to become one. So no matter how hard it is, I will keep striving on.

That's all for my post today. I'm very tired and my mind is not letting out words. I actually struggled a bit writing this post. I'm just basically very stressed out I need more rest. I'll see you again in my next post. Later.

I MADE QUICHE!!

2008-10-13T19:18:00.007+11:00

Okay...No whining today! No complaining today! I just wanna share with all of you out there the joy I'm currently in. I FINALLY DID SOMETHING RIGHT IN THE KITCHEN TODAY!! IN FACT, IT'S AWESOME!!

Today, we made quiche and vegetable couscous. It was quite a lengthy process, coz first we had to make the short cut pastry and let it rest for 30 mins, then the custard and let it rest again for 15 mins. Meanwhile letting the pastry and custard rest, we had to make our vegetable couscous. It was quite fun in the beginning, but we all had to rush a bit at the end. But it was all cool. All of us managed to make the quiche and vegetable couscous successfully.

So...why am I so happy today?? First of all, I managed to finish baking my quiche and cooking my couscous in time, unlike other students in other classes. And the best part is, they're both delicious! Yes indeed, Veron finally did something right!" And I received compliments from my chef too. Isn't it great?

But I still had some down side that I need to improve on. And that's my work flow and organization. Well, let's just say that I'm not exactly famous for being organized. So I guess this is something I have to work on. Okay I'm not gonna keep bragging 'bout how wonderful my day is....but I just wanna tell you guys what happened with my couscous before I put up some photos. Ok...this is how it goes.

I was trying to get my quiche baked, while I left the couscous on a hot stove. I kinda forgot my couscous was still cooking...and guess what? It overcooked and got burnt. I took away the lid and OMG...it smelled so burnt that I decided to close the lid back...coz I didn't want my chef to know that I burnt the couscous. Only the bottom part was burnt, so I took the top parts and stir fried it with the veges. I was kinda hoping that my chef wouldn't be able to taste the burnt taste. I mean...let's face it...not everyone's palate is like Gordon Ramsay's! So after I cooked the couscous, I put it on a hot plate. Then I realized that I didn't put soy sauce. DARN...so I put the couscous back into the frying pan again, this time I added some soy sauce. So from then on I knew that I screwed up...BIG TIME. And when it's time for my chef to taste my couscous....I was so damn surprised that he said, "That's delicious...the flavor is very well balanced and your vegetables are well cut. Good job, Veron!"

Omg...you couldn't believe the width of my smile after that. I was still smiling even when I walked back to my station. I think my classmates saw me and think i'm a little cuckoo. Anyways...so bottom line is...I made a great quiche and a great couscous. Now I'm gonna show you some pictures that you've all been waiting for!!

TADDDAAAAAAAAA!!

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ME IN MY CHEF'S WHITES!!

This is the second most expensive thing I have in my possession. It's my tool kit....everything that I need to be a chef!

This is my delicious luscious "Quiche Lorraine". The sides are made of short cut pastry called "Pate Brisee Salee"(put a dash on top of the 'e'....yes it's french). The middle consists of custard, bacon lardons and grated gruyere cheese. Btw, gruyere cheese smells like dirty socks. Despite that,it's damn delicious. I wish you guys could taste it!

Another picture of my Quiche Lorraine. Oh, if you're wondering why a part of the quiche is missing. Well...hehe...I ate it on my way back home, while driving. That just explains how bad the rush hour is and how hungry I was. I didn't eat the whole day....coz there was simply no time! Damn...being a chef is hard!

Despite that, I really love being a chef. I just love it! Although cooking doesn't come very natural to me, I still love it. I mean...the satisfaction is there when you've accomplished something. And I pay attention to every single thing that chef is saying during his demonstrations and theory classes. If you put a camera in front of me during demo class, you can see that I sometimes don't blink as much and my mouth is wide open. It's because I'm highly amazed with the stuff that chef is doing, and that I'm so wrapped up in the moment. The feeling is almost like watching Slash perform Sweet child of mine when it comes to the lead part. I simply freeze when I watch Slash perform the lead...even if I'm halfway crossing the road.

It's so different from the times when I was still in Uni. When I was still in Uni, I would find every excuse possible to escape class. And sometimes, I didn't even need an excuse. I just skip without feeling guilty. But now it's all so different. I would wake up everyday at 6am sharp and drive 45 mins to college, without feeling laziness or procrastination. It's like I want to go to class! It's like I can't wait til class starts! That's how motivated and determined I am 'bout this course. I think I've made the right choice in changing my course. I don't care what ppl say....I don't care if I will never ever wear a corporate attire anymore....and I certainly don't care if I don't have a degree in my life. All I care right now is to become the best chef I can ever be, and to delight people with my delicious food!

Graveyard shifts

2008-10-11T19:01:00.002+11:00

For the past two nights, I've been doing graveyard shifts....from 11pm til 7am. Yeah yeah I know what you're thinking...poor Veron...must've been tiring...blah blah blah. But guess what?? I loved it. It's only my second time doing graveyard shifts and it totally rocks. WHY???? Because I'm all alone in the kitchen and I can do whatever I want.

Just lemme run thru with you a typical graveyard shift. First you sign in at 11pm and just sit in the office and wait for guests to call. And if you don't know already, not many ppl would order room service in the middle of the night. Most of the time, they'll probably order alcohol...and even that comes pretty rare. So basically, the graveyard shift is just a bonus shift man. It's easy peasy...and it's a job for slackers. And that is why I LOVE IT!!!

So, the chef will normally close the kitchen at around 12.30am, and from then on, it's all microwaved food. At around 12.30am when there's not many ppl who would ring up anymore, I would start doing floor check. Floor check is just going up to all the floors and pick up dirty trays that guests leave outside their door after they've finished their meal. At the same time, I gotta collect the breakfast cards for which they hang on their door knob. Most ppl would think that it's a no-brainer job, but just try doing it themselves for once and they'd be surprised that it's actually pretty tiring.

So the whole floor check process will normally take about an hour, depending on how many trays are left outside. After that, I'll start prepping the breakfast orders that I've collected during floor check. Now...this is another time consuming task. This whole process will take about an hour and a half, so by around 3am, everything should be set and done. And meanwhile I'm prepping for the breakfast orders, I listen to my music on my laptop. And YES...I bring my laptop to work! Only on graveyard shifts though! Hehe. Ssshhhh....don't tell anyone!

So...from 3am onwards....I basically just scratch myself to entertain myself. Coz there is absolutely nothing else that I can do. Most ppl would sleep....but I, on the other hand, would watch movies on my laptop!!! So yeah...I have like 2 hours of free time to do whatever I want. And 2 hours is just right for a movie!! How convenient, right??? Damn....I love my job!!

It's funny how I get paid $18 bucks an hour to do absolutely the least....and sometimes even nothing. Very efficient there on handling manpower....thumbs up to my managers! But then again...it is a graveyard shift after all....a shift that nobody would wanna do. So, I'm not gonna feel all guilty about doing nothing and get paid. Coz hey...I'm make a sacrifice here. Look...I wake up on Monday to Wednesday at 6am in the morning and go to college....and on Thursday and Friday, I gotta stay up the entire night for work. It's a huge difference that my body clock has to handle. I mean gosh....I even gotta plan when to sleep so that the timing thing works out right. So once again, I emphasize....I DO NOT FEEL GUILTY RIPPING MY EMPLOYERS OFF BY SLACKING AWAY DURING MY GRAVEYARD SHIFTS!! So bite me!

Well, sometimes it can get pretty lonely during graveyard shifts. Coz there's no one around, except for the janitor, who by the way can speak pretty good malay despite his pure Bangladesh heritage who has never lived in Malaysia for more than a month. But I was impressed when he could say "Apa khabar?" "Sudah makan kah?" "Kau tidak lapar kah?" All that, he could speak very naturally...just as if he's a malaysian. Very impressive I gotta say! That was actually the very first time that I've ever spoken to him....well, I guess it's becoz he does graveyard shifts, so I rarely see him. From the way he talked, he sounded like a pretty smart and educated guy. But I don't know why he's just a janitor. He could do so much better, really. Or perhaps...he's just a simple guy who wants a simple life with a simple job....which btw pays pretty decently. Only in Australia!

Okay...by the time it's 5am...trust me...your eyes will start to feel heavy. But ironically, it's the busiest time of the entire shift, coz that's when breakfast starts. Quite a few guests would want their breakfast delivered to their rooms between 5am and 7am. So...that's when the action really begins....at the end of the shift. It's quite shitty...really. Coz by that time, I'm so dead tired that I just wanna crash on the floor. But I guess adrenaline will always keep pumping and make me stay awake, especially when it's busy.

Another shitty part of my job is....there's lots of orders requested to be sent up at 7am. And guess what? That's the end of my shift. And most ppl would just leave at 7am sharp...I mean...you're allowed to do that from a legal view point. But guess what again? In room service, you can't just leave without having the next person arrive. If the next person is early, then great! But if she's just on time or even a teensy weensy bit late, I gotta deliver all of the 7am orders and by the time I finish those, it's already 7.15am. And guess what again? You don't get paid for the extra 15 minutes. Bugger!

So by the time I reach home, I'll be so tired and go straight to bed. And you know what?? Because I'm overworked...my body is physically tired, but I can't get my eyes to shut. This is what happens to me when I overwork my body. So, I would go online and surf a bit...or even watch an episode of Scrubs until my eyes feel heavy.

Bottom line is...graveyard shift is a great way to earn money for doing nothing...but it just eats up your energy so quickly (despite doing nothing) that it's really bad for your health....which is why I'm not doing it anymore next week!! Next week I'm back to night shifts! Typical 3-11 or 6-11 shifts. Though it can get busy during night shifts, but it's less tiring. It's funny how things can get so paradoxical. Doing nothing can actually make you feel so much more tiring than doing something!

That's all I gotta say in this post. I know it's probably not interesting to listen to me whine about my job...or just merely talking about it for that matter, but I guess I've been so overwhelmed with work lately that I feel the need to talk about it. So...thanks for reading this. I'll be back soon with more whining and complaints! Lolz....later!

What you think is not what you will get

2008-10-08T22:48:00.004+11:00

Most of you would've known that I've started my Basic Cuisine Certificate course at Le Cordon Bleu on Tuesday morning. Lemme just bring you back to Monday night. I had to work on Monday night and thank God it wasn't a busy night. Plus...it was a public holiday and I got double paid...Yayy!! Anyway...I got home at around 11.30pm and I had to prepare for my first day of school. You still remember that feeling that you used to get on the night before the first day of school? That was the feeling I had on Monday night. My emotions were just going haywire....I was excited, scared, happy and nervous at the same time. It was really crazy for me...coz it's been a while since I had butterflies in my stomach over something. I remember the last time I had this feeling was the night before my Talentime performance at high school...Form 3 I think it was. OMG...it was the exact same feeling. Except that I was significantly more confident in playing guitar, as compared to cooking....or chopping for this matter. Coz all we did the first day was cutting vegetables!

Nevertheless, all these mixed emotions just drove me up the wall and I just couldn't fall asleep. Occasionally, I would think about the stuff that I'm gonna learn the next day...and how I was going to answer a question that my chef would ask me. And I would think of these scenarios where I become the star in my class, just coz I could do everything right. HAHHA...I know what you're thinking...I know I'm such a day dreamer....but could you say honestly say that you've never thought about stuff like these? Just what I thought! Basically, I felt like I was invincible you know, like nothing could stop me from becoming the best of the best!! So, all these scenes just flashed in my mind. I went to bed at around 1.00am and I had to get up at 6am. But the truth is, I only got a couple of hours sleep coz I think I was still awake at 3.00am. It's been a while since I've felt this way 'bout something. I've never even felt this way on the night before my first day of Uni. Well, I guess I only feel this way towards the things I really care about. Just like Form 3's Talentime.....and now this. I'm glad I felt this way...although it was torturing....but this only gave me greater motivation to succeed in this field.

I woke up the next day as soon as the alarm clock rings. To be honest (some of u may know), I never wake up as soon as the alarm clock rings. I normally lie on bed for an extra 15 mins, and sometimes it goes up to half an hour. It's just an ol' habit that I've never wanted to get rid of. But somehow, I managed to jump out of bed, despite the lack of sleep, feeling really fresh and excited. And invincible....hehe! So, I drove to college all the way at Ryde....it's a 40 minute drive. I reached the college at around 7.00-ish and went to change. It was quite a rush honestly, coz the chef's jacket has so many buttons and it's really difficult to button up. That was a little bumpy start for me...coz I thought if I arrived at 7.00-ish, I would have adequate time to change and get ready for my demonstration class. But I guess not for the first day, coz I spent some time changing, and looking for classrooms.

Anyway, my first demonstration class. It's a little demonstration theatre, where there's a fully equipped little kitchen in front of the theatre, and seats around it. And there are cameras and LCD screens in the theatre as well to enlarge the demonstration. First thing that came to my mind...."Cooking show"! It's more or less like that. I sat at the front row, so I had a pretty good view of the demo. On the first day, we usually learn to chop veges into several forms of cuts...and that's what we did. It looked pretty simple from the demo, but when you actually do it, it's quite difficult. After the demo, we had our practical and we went to our given classes. My class had lots of Brazilians and Koreans...and French! I'm the only Malaysian, and obviously, I was kinda left out. Coz they were all in their little cliques. But I didn't care much, coz we were so swamped with work that we didn't have much time to mingle anyway.

Okay...back to my practical. We were chopping veges. And OMG...it is so difficult. I was doing it so slowly...and everybody was ahead of me! And knowing me, I'm a very competitive person. I wanna be the fastest and best at what I'm doing. Just like playing guitar, I wanna be better than everybody around me. If there's anyone better than I am, I would dislike that person and attempt to improve and be better than he or she. That's why I never liked to "youtube" random unknown ppl who are good at guitar. Coz all I'd feel is envy and bitterness. But there's always something positive that would derive from that....and that's motivation to be better! Okay...so everyone was ahead of me in chopping, and it didn't feel good at all. So basically, I had a pretty shit day. I know that you would think that it's no big deal being a little slow....but trust me...when your expectations towards yourself is so high up above the sky, even a slight disappointment will crush you....and your confidence. And that was what happened to me. And this is a very competitive industry...you absolutely gotta be the best of the best in order to be successful! And I'm not gonna be that mediocre person anymore....not anymore...not ever!! I WANNA BE THE BEST!

So the first day didn't go well, I can scrap that. So today was the second day and I strive to improve. I did improve slightly, I guess. At least now, I wasn't the slowest in class. There're others who were slower than I am....and I'm glad that the vegetable and fish stock that I made was a success. However, I failed at another thing. And this one is truly a failure! We made puff pastry today and fuck me...I failed not just once, but twice!! First time, I had way too much flour...coz apparently, I measured it wrongly. Coz I used the wrong weighing bowl, and therefore, it wasn't measured properly. Okay, fine...I chucked that away and made a second one....while everyone was already finishing with theirs. Second time, fuck me...I had way too little water. And this time is because I calculated it wrongly. I didn't know 1 cup was 250mls....and therefore half a cup is 125mls. I only filled up 1/4 cup...which is obviously insufficient. The dough was way too hard....like a damn rock. My chef was sympathetic and she gave me her dough instead. And knowing me, I'm a person who doesn't tolerate self-pity. I don't like ppl to feel sympathetic towards me...coz it makes me feel like I'm not in control. I hate that. But because we didn't have much time, I took her dough anyway and sucked it up.

After the practical ended, I felt like shit. Even worst that shit. I dunno what's worse than shit...but if I knew, that was what I was. Every story has its lesson...and I think I've learned mine. The lesson is...

"What you think is not what you will get."

And also, "The greater the expectation, the greater the disappointment!"

Oh and another one, Always have breakfast before class so that your stomach doesn't growl and make a fool of yourself!"

So that's how my past three days have gone by. Wasn't that great. I hope yours was better. There are times, for the past few days, that I would think that maybe cooking just wasn't for me. But as soon as I put that thought in my head, I discard it right away. Coz that's just crazy! I know I can do better....and I know I've got what it takes to become a successful chef. I know that this was just a bumpy start of the race, but as long as I put more effort to it, I'm sure the journey will be less turbulent. I know what I'm doing now is the best thing that could've happen to me...and I'm going to take advantage of that. I hope that next week will be a better week...and I certainly hope that I will have the support of all of you...by reading my posts!! Thanks for tuning in. Have a great one!

Blue Mountains Trip

2008-10-01T21:17:00.008+10:00

Hey there, I'm back again! Oh God, I'm so sick...I have fever! But it won't stop me from updating my blog...lolz! So...I'm not gonna write too much in this post, coz I'll be uploading lots of photos from the Blue Mountains Trip. So here it goes......

This was at the Jenolan Caves entrance. The building has a very unique architectural build. According to Angela, it's "cute". I wonder what it means...

This was the gang that I went to Blue Mountains with. Plus me of course, who is the photographer for this shot. I think we were inside the railway tour thingy at Scenic World.

Just a picture of Me, Angela and May Ling, while waiting for the cave tour.

Me, sipping on a cup of lousy capuccino, which I gave up on after a few sips. Really....it was a very bad cup of coffee!!! Somehow I still manage to smile for the picture!

Peace out, ya'll!!!

I think I saw a ghost or sumthin'!! Either that, or I saw Kiefer Sutherland....completely naked!! WUakakKAkakaka!!

Now, let me introduce you to one of my oldest friends whom I've met in Sydney. Her name is Ivy! And let me tell you a li'l sumthin' bout this woman. SHE LOVES TO TAKE PICTURES OF HERSELF....WITH EVERYTHING....EVERYWHERE...EVERYTIME!!! And it doesn't matter if no one's taking picture of her....coz she'll shiok sendiri and take it by herself...just like the next few solo pictures she's taken for herself. Very special girl!!

See what I mean?

Now let me shift the focus to another dear friend of mine, whom I met in my first year of Uni. ANGELA CATALAN!!! This gurl is crazy ass funny! Just look at the picture above and you'll understand.

There's a picture of me and Ang. I really love this photo! Very photogenic!! I think we might have a chance to win something like a "dynamic duo picture award." Okaayy...I know it's lame!

Uinahh...Now here's our model bah....my housemate of the year...MAY LING!!! She normally doesn't like to be in pictures. Everytime you snap one, she'll complain about looking fat, etc, etc. But we all gotta agree that this is a pretty good picture! The way she pose bah...bergaya this!

Picture of me....and the cave! Cave Chifley to be exact!!

I really have no idea why I looked so ganas in this picture! I can't recall what I saw that made my face so ganas! Pardon me!! I didn't mean to put on my "what the fuck you lookin' at" face! I normally only show that face at work. Hehe!

More random photos....

Actually, these are only pictures of the second day of our trip! The pictures of the first day are with Angela, which is yet to be uploaded. So I'll upload them as soon as I get them! Basically, I had a lot of fun throughout the 2 days and 1 night at Blue Mountains.

You have no idea how much we've got to know each other throughout this 2 days. May Ling and Ivy have only officially known Angela for 2 days, but it seems like they've known each other for years. And we started talking 'bout politics when we all got a li'l tipsy. Trust me!! BAD IDEA....NUH-UH!!! BAD BAD IDEA!! Listen to my advice, never ever talk about politics when you're drunk....or should I say, never talk about politics with IVY!! OMG...we almost had a physical fight talking bout politics. I almost wanted to throw the glass of Southern Comfort whiskey with Lemonade to Ivy's face! Really...I almost did!!

Nevertheless, it was a great experience. Looking forward to another road trip like this! Except maybe for the politics discussion under the influnce of alcohol. Alright, I realized that I'm way behind my posts. So many things have happened in the last couple of days, that I didn't have time to write em' all down on my blog. So, I'll just make a short summary.

I had my orientation yesterday and my oh my...the college was infested with Asians! Could not believe it until I saw it. Not really a great start, to be honest. But everything's cool....I got my tool kit and uniform, which is awesome! And basically, I'm all up and ready to learn and become a chef!! So I will see you soon, in my next post! Thanks for tuning in!!

Dinner @ Marque's

2008-09-28T18:09:00.010+10:00

I finally lost my virginity last night ........................................................................................................................................TO ONE OF THE BEST FINE DINING RESTAURANTS IN AUSTRALIA, BABYYY!! Lolz...gotcha, didn't I?

It was the first time ever that I've eaten at a fine dining restaurant. The restaurant is called Marque and according to the 2009 Australian Restaurant Guide, Marque is in the Top 6 across Australia. Not to my surprise, the food was more than excellent....it was almost orgasmic! Why almost, you might wonder? Well, to be honest, I didn't like the cheese course. The cheese kinda tasted like aerosol.

I went to Marque's together with Vivien, Bryant and Fiorn. The dinner was an 8 course meal...8 tiny little portions I might add. 3 entrees, 4 mains, and 1 dessert. It took us almost 4 hours to complete the 8 courses. That was the longest dinner I've ever had in my life. But truth be told, it didn't seem that long. We were enjoying random conversations over dinner....very Western style...instead of the very typical Asian style, whereby all dishes come out at the same time and everyone gobble their food like a ghost during Hungry Ghost Festival. You know what I mean. And you're not even allowed to talk so much during dinner. It's rude la kononnya!

So..we had a half bottle of French red wine...very expensive half bottle of red wine. Though it was already the cheapest one. But what the hell...what's fine dining without wine? But thank God it was one hell of a red wine....I don't normally like red wine, but that one seemed alright to me.

This was our first appetizer dish. It's called "Chaud-Froid Free Range Egg". The waitress explained to us that the dish consists of 5 elements that stimulates the palate. "sweet, sour, salty, hot and cold." It was goooooooodddd!!! Oohh la laaaa!!

As for the second entree dish, I think we forgot to take a picture of it. And damn it...that was my 2nd favourite dish. It's called "Almond Jelly with Blue Swimmer Crab, Almond Gazpacho, Sweet Corn and Herring Roe." The crab tasted so good...it was like something I've never tasted before. But I thought the taste of the almond jelly was a little too strong. But overall, the dish was definitely one of my favourites.

This entree is called "Octopus Nicoise with Passionfruit and Pineapple Sage." This dish is a very refreshing entree and the ingredients blend in very well together. However, I'm not a big fan of octopus. So I didn't enjoy it as much as I'd liked to.

Now this was our first main course, which is called "Cured Ocean Trout with Coleslaw, Lemon and Dill Jelly. The trout was served cold and raw.

The second main course is called "Duck Liver with Duck Ham, Onion and Charred Leek. Now this is the kinda dish I could get used to. I thought duck liver tasted like any other liver, except that it's more tender and the taste was less overpowering. Overall, great dish.

As for this dish, it's called the "Roast Jurassic Quail with Black Lip Abalone, Chocolate Feuilletage and Celeriac." I can say that this might just be my favourite dish. The quail was so tender and flavorsome...I totally didn't expect it. When you see Quail and Chocolate...you'd think that it would be a weird combination. But the combination is actually pretty awesome. I loved this dish so much that I wanted more! But of course I wasn't entitled to another portion. Bottom line....YuMMiLiCiOuSZzZzzZ!!!

This final main of the day is "Poached Veal Loin with Root Vegetables, Smoked Parsnip and Wakame." Veal is baby cow's meat, if I'm not mistaken. I kinda like veal...I think it tastes better than beef. It's not as heavy or flavorsome as beef, but it's got its own unique taste and texture to it. I think it's something different, and I like it.

There was an optional cheese course after main couse was over. The cheese dish is called "Bleu del Moncenis (Piedmont, Italy) with Apple Jelly and Konbu." Basically, it's a type of blue cheese from Italy. You know blue cheese...it stinks, big time!! But this one didn't stink as much. When you take a bite and try to taste it, the result of it is kinda tasteless in the beginning. But when the cheese starts to kick into your palate, you will find that it tastes like aerosol. Really!! Even Fiorn agrees! She actually suggested it first!!

This is a pre-dessert, according to the waitress. It's called "Sauternes Custard." I hated this dessert. It's too damn sweet. I had two spoons of it and I gave up on it. The caramel on top was too sweet. The custard was very smooth, though. But I'm not a big fan of custards...so I couldn't enjoy it anyway.

The final dish of the day, "Poached Strawberries with Raspberries, Liqourice, Yoghurt Sorbet, and Vermouth." Now this is a dessert I could never get sick of. The yoghurt sorbet was marvellous. They only served us a little scoop. I almost wanted to ask the waitress if I could have some more. Mmmmm....yummy!!!

This is a menu that they gave to us at the end of our meal. It's funny...they only showed the menu to us at the end of service, instead of the beginning. They said they wanna give us a surprise. But what the hell, they've already explained every dish each time they serve us a dish. There's no surprise whatsoever. Plus, we've already checked the menu online before we came.

Vivien and me - Dinner @ Marque's

Bryant and Fiorn - Dinner @ Marque's

So..those were all the dishes we had for dinner at Marque's. It was a great experience for me....and quite a funny one at the beginning. Coz me and Viv were figuring how to dress up. Since it's a fine dining restaurant, it's kinda common sense to assume that a dress would be a minimum requirement. But then again, I guess we over-estimated our common sense...there's no need to wear a damn dress to that place. It's has a semi-formal setting and ambience...a dress might be a little too grand for a dinner out with friends. But of course if it was a romantic date, then a dress would be a minimum requirement. Imagine me in a dress....kekekekekekek!!!

The most painful part of the night....was when the waiter handed us the check. OUCCCHHHHHHHHH!!!! It was brutal...very brutal!! But then again...not unexpected. This dinner cost me my entire week's pay. But no matter what you say...it was worth every dime.

Oh ya...did I also mention that while we were waiting for Bryant and Fiorn to arrive at the restaurant, me and Viv saw a Karaoke bus! OMIGOD....it's sooo hilarious!! Hahahah!! The bus is actually equipped with karaoke necessities, such as mics, TV, karaoke player, etc. And these ppl were just singing on the bus! And might I add...they were "sumbang"! And you know what the funniest part was?? The bus driver had a microphone in front of his mouth, and he had to sing along too!! LOLZ!! And that driver was actually so into the song, he honked according to the beat of the song that was playing. So damn hilarious man!!! OHHhh...they were singing "Behind these hazel eyes" by Kelly Clarkson!! AHAHHAHAHAHHA!! Funny laaaa!!!

So basically, that was the best Saturday night I've ever had....since a really long time. Coz I had to work during most Saturdays...so it's been a while since I had such a great time. Looking forward to another night like this.

I guess I should stop now. Tune in again next time. Cheers!

Why fcukin' bother??

2008-09-26T00:28:00.002+10:00

I can only spend a maximum of half an hour to write today's post, coz I still gotta practise for my guitar lesson tomorrow at 9am in the morning. Damn it...who the hell takes guitar lessons at 9am in the morning. Plus, it's normally about half an hour drive to my guitar teacher's place, and considering the rush hour in the morning, it'll probably take an hour. Sigh...the things I'm willing to do to become a musician.

So..I just came back from work a while ago...and today was a pretty bad day at work. Well, it's not bad bad...but it's bad. Well, I actually realized today, that I have a "chef's temper". When things go bad, I throw tantrum and swear my lungs out. Somewhat like Gordon Ramsay. Hah...I'm a big fan! Anyway...this is what happened today. Some guests ordered food from my colleague and when I delivered it, they said that it's not what they wanted. Typical scenario in the food and beverage industry. Well, it's usually no big deal in these scenarios, coz we could tell the chefs to make another one for the guests. But I don't know why I got so pissed off about this today, and I just kept swearing and throwing stuff around....well, like what Gordon Ramsay does in his kitchen when things don't go his way. Okay...lemme make this clear...I wasn't trying to imitate him. It really affected my nerves and I got so mad when this happened. Everyone could see that I was damn pissed off...and nobody has ever seen me like that before....everyone was actually afraid of me. Even my manager didn't dare to come near me.

For the entire time, I just kept adding the word "fuck" in every single sentence I say. My colleague told me afterwards, when I calmed down, that it was the first time she heard me swear so much. Haha...I laughed out loud. It's true. I don't normally swear so much. So afterwards, when I calmed down, I was thinking to myself, why the hell did I get so angry? There was no particular reason that I had to be so angry about. It was just a common miscommunication between my colleague and the guest, and the matter can be easily resolved. But why was I still so angry?

Well...I've got 2 theories. First one, I am a very short-tempered person, which may or may not have been a result of genetic inheritance from my father. But who am I kidding...o'course it's genetic! My dad has the worst temper in the whole family and amongst his siblings...and I probably will top him in the next few years, when I start workin' in a professional kitchen with maximum pressure from the heat and getting all the food cooked in perfection. Trust me...my temper will be as bad as Gordon Ramsay's(a Scottish man, I might add) in the next few years.

Second theory, I have anger issues. This is more of a bigger problem, coz this time, it's not genetic....it's psychological! I do not wish to mention where the source of my anger issues come from, but most shrinks will tell you that it probably is a result of your childhood. 'Nuff said.

So...whether or not it's genetic or psychological, I gotta admit that I've got a temper problem. I'm not saying that it's all bad....but if only I could transfer all these anger and temper into running a professional kitchen in the future, I SWEAR...I can be as good as Gordon Ramsay by the time I'm 30 years old. I don't know if you understand what I mean, but all I'm saying is that, if only I could transfer all these negative prospects of my life into something that yields positive results, this temper problem will still remain...but it will remain as a positive aspect of my life! You get it??!! I'll give you an analogy. For example, a man who has been in a wheelchair for most of his life. So being a crippled man is the negative aspect of his life. But if he could use his crippled identity to join the Paralympics in basketball (something that he loves to do), he'll still be a cripple, no matter what, but the positive aspect of this now is that he's turning this negative aspect of his life into something positive. Well of course this is not the perfect analogy to explain my theory...coz temper is something that can be changed, but being crippled cannot be changed. But still, the point remains.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that, why bother to change your negative aspects of life if you can turn it into something positive? Like, why bother learning to control my temper, when I can use it to run a professional kitchen in the future when I become a head chef? Why bother to walk again, when the man can play basketball (something he loves doing) in an international level? So why fuckin' bother to change, you tell me!! Why fuckin' bother???????

Home Sick Home

2008-09-24T00:59:00.005+10:00

Hatred is something that I feel,
Towards a group of people who steal,
There's nothing I hate more than thieves,
Who never strive to achieve.

These people live in a country,
That appears to promote peace and banish poverty,
I hear it all the time on TV,
But none of these I ever see.

This is a place I used to call home,
Which now I find entirely gruesome,
Freedom, justice, peace and love,
I receive none of the above.

They say they would be our leaders,
And lead our lives for the better,
But all they've done is rip us off,
In ways you can never think of.

Why bother living in such a place?
Where there's other causes to embrace,
All I ever feel is disgrace,
If I continue to stay on base.

This is not an act of rebellion,
This is not a way of oppression,
It is only a method of expression,
To release my deepest emotion.

What is this place, I could never say,
For it would be something I will have to pay,
I guess all I can do is pray,
That someday, God will make a way.

By: VeRoN

New place, new life, new beginning.

2008-09-22T19:10:00.009+10:00

I've just moved into a new apartment two days ago and that was the craziest day I've had all year. Moving during the day and work during the night. And it had to be one of the busiest nights ever. By the time my shift ended, I was exhausted. I couldn't even move a single muscle and I ended up just sitting on the couch for hours, chatting away with my manager and colleagues. And when I got home, the whole place was a mess...coz I didn't have time to unpack my stuff. And guess what...I managed to fix up my table when I came back from work...and that was near to 3am in the morning. Man...I wonder where I got all the energy from.

Oh...did I mention who I moved in with? I moved into Bryant Wong's place. Great place...I love it, although the room is slightly smaller than my previous room. Finally, no more carpet. Have you got any idea how much I hate carpeted floors? It's very unhygienic and it's a chore keeping it clean.

My bedroom as you approach from the door. And no...I don't make up my bed. I find it a waste of time and energy. Say...it takes you 30 seconds to make up your bed, this means you're wasting 30 secs a day, 3.5 minutes a week, 3 hours a year, and 30 hours a decade, just in making up your bed. Don't know bout you, but that is sure as hell a lot of time wasted in my opinion

That's my workstation. One Dell Desktop, one Dell laptop and a pair of kick-ass state of the art Altec Lansing speakers, not to forget the subwoofer under the table. And my beautiful slippers that I just bought off a discount store for 2 bucks. Guess it doesn't fit in the background.

A blurry reflection of my bedroom.

That's the living room. I love the couch...it's not mine though. Bryant bought it when he first moved in last year.

And yes, that's a plasma TV. Compliments of Bryant Wong.

That's the kitchen. A little small for my liking, but it's workable. But it could've come with a couple more cupboards...and a gas stove, instead of electrical. Not complaining though...just suggesting.

I could really get used to this new home. It's so much cozier than the previous one. Now I understand why some people prefer less spacious homes...coz it's really so much cozier. I could get used to my new housemate too...as in Bryant. Now, I get to cook a lot of food, without having to worry 'bout leftovers. He'll manage to finish it no matter what. Plus, I get to experiment my new recipes on him...my guinea pig. Haha. Bottom line, I'm so much happier and comfortable now.

This is just a little something that I cooked today. It's Penne Pasta with chicken, baby rocket and tomato paste, garnished with grated parmesan cheese. It's not the first time that I've made this dish...but it is the first time since I aspired to be a chef that I've made this dish. I could see the difference between this and my previous attempt...and honestly, it's done so much more professional this time. Before that, I don't add any garnish to my dish, and the portion was always more than I could take. Now, it looks so much more proportionate and well presented. I think I'm on the right track here. I cooked for Bryant as well and I'm glad he liked it. I just hope he doesn't get food poisoning...haha! That would be such a blow to my self-confidence in cooking.

From now on, I'll be taking pictures of the dishes I've cooked and post it on this blog. This way I can share my passion for cooking with all of you guys out there. I really hope that one day, every single one of you out there will be able to taste the food that I invent and cook. And I wish to make it happen when I establish my own restaurant in the future. It's a dream....an achievable one I might add, as compared to the rockstar dream. LoLz!

I guess it's time to stop again. Til next time my dear friends. Adios!

What's a Tag?!?

2008-09-21T16:53:00.003+10:00

Okay...I'll be honest...I have no freakin' idea what a "tag" is...but I guess there's something to do with answering this little quiz requested by my dear friend, Alexandra Mary Chin Mui Khiun!

Wedding tag from Alex

1. how old are you?~
21 years old.

2. are you single?
Yes...but I'm working on a "project" if ya know what I mean. LoLz...

3. in what age do you think you’ll get married?
If I'm not married by 35, I don't ever wanna. My guts tell me that I'm never gonna get married....EVER!!

4. do you think you’ll be marrying the person you are with now? '
Who?!

5. if not, who do you want to marry?~
OoHhH...This is the best question so far. Hmm lemme think. First I wanna marry Kiefer Sutherland, but maybe just for a couple of years...coz you know, he's kinda ageing. Then, I'm gonna divorce him, requesting for half of his assets (if I haven't already signed a pre-nup before I got married), which means half of his vintage Gibson guitars will be mine! MuAhahahHAHHAhha!!!

6. do you want a garden/beach wedding, or the traditional church wedding?~
Hmm...probably beach wedding...on an island! Not just some beach like Tg Aru or Tg Lipat.

7.your ideal motif?~
Honestly...I don't have an ideal motif for a wedding. Coz getting married isn't something that I would be thinking at the moment...or perhaps in the future.

8. where do you plan to go on a honeymoon?~
One of those unknown and deserted little islands in the Caribbean.

9. how many guests do you think you’ll invite?~
Not many. Just my parents, brothers, grandparents, high school mates, and a few of my mates here in Sydney. Oh yeah...not to forget my dogs: Kimmy, Peanut and Butter. And of course the groom's family and friends. Basically just the ppl I care about. I mean...why the hell do you wanna invite ppl who you don't even know? Ppl like my grandparents' sister's cousin's brother's daughter in-law? Or my aunt's cousin's husband's son? What...are they even related to me?

10. do you want an extravagant wedding or a simple wedding?~
Simple, but meaningful and unforgettable.

11. do you want the traditional vows or something you’d make up on your own??~
'Course my own. It has to be original, special, meaningful and from the bottom of my heart.

12. how many layers of cake do you want to have?~
Seriously...do ppl actually think about this?

13. do you prefer having your reception at a hotel or at a simple place?~
Simple but well-decorated place.

14. when do you want to get married, evening or morning?~
Midnight!

15. you’d rather have your reception outdoors or indoors?~
Outdoors. I like the sun, the rain, the wind, the snow, and other elements of the earth.

16. do you like a grand entrance for your groom?~
I don't mind...but as long as it's not over the edge and it becomes lame.

18. name the song/tune you’d like played at your wedding??~
Somehow...I would want my groom to sing and play "Wonderful Tonight" by Eric Clapton...acoustic version...on a grand piano.

19. are you a morning person or a night person?~
Definitely night.

20. do you want a solemn ceremony or a light one?
Light

21. what age do you want to get married?~
No preference. I really don't care.

22. describe your ideal husband/wife.~
Someone less successful than I am. I can't stand a partner more successful than I am. I will feel useless and dependent on him. I can't live with that. I'd feel insecure. I guess someone who loves food, so that I can feed him everyday with my original recipes. Haha! Personality wise, I guess he should be funny, easy to be around with, a man of his word, and a man who stands within his principles. Oh well...honestly, I really don't care, as long as we get along well.

23. do you prefer fine dining or just the normal spoon & fork/knife?~
I enjoy both you know...so what about a fusion? Fine dining food in a normal spoon, fork and knife setting?

24. champagne or red wine?~
I'm really more of a beer person.

25. honeymoon right after the wedding or days after the wedding?~
Days after the wedding. I'll be too tired straight after the wedding.

26. money or hosusehold item?~
Money to buy the household item that I like.

27. who will pay for the bills?~
U kidding me? I ain't gonna pay for the wedding. What...I gotta pay to commit into a relationship now?

28. are you ready for married life?~
Fuck no. May never be.

29. do u think you will still be a virgin until u get married?
Fuck this question!

30. will u always be true to your wife/husband?~
Yes...to a certain degree. I mean...I won't cheat on him with another guy, if that's what you mean. But, I would always choose work over my husband...unless I'm already very successful in my career.

31. how many kids do u like?~
Don't even attempt that question on me. ZILCH...NIL...NADA! NO KIDDOS!! YOU UNDERSTAND ME???

32. a new house for a newly wed or an old one?~
New of course. New house for a new beginning.

33. will u celebrate silver wedding, gold wedding, or diamond wedding?~
Diamond!!

34. what kind of cuisine would u like for ur wedding?~
Now lemme see...I would definitely love a fusion between the east and the west. Maybe something like Thai and French fusion cuisine? Not really sure how that will work out. Maybe like stir fry foie gras? Or Tom Yum Goong with Cognac Shrimp? You know...something like that would be cool. I definitely don't want the Chinese Style...dishes in the middle on those rotatable glass. I hate those. I'd prefer like a 5 course meal. 2 entrees, 2 mains, 1 dessert.

35. will u record ur honeymoon in a cd or dvd?~
Yeah, I guess.

Work sucks...I know!

2008-09-17T16:20:00.003+10:00

Have you ever felt like walking over to your boss' office and throw a resignation letter to his face and then say "Fuck you...I'm done with you! You're the shittiest boss in the world, that even my dog could manage your work a whole lot better!" The whole day at work today, I was just playing these images in my mind over and over again...experimenting on different phrases and scenarios that could sound meaner and more demeaning than the one above.

For example,

"Hey boss...listen..there's just something I've been meaning to tell ya. No offence but, you are just absolutely incapable of doing your job properly. And I think I know why. Coz you're just a LOW LIFE SONNAVABITCH!!!"

"Boss, I knew that you were just a pussy when you first stepped into that door. I never doubt that.....not even once!"

And there's more.....

Pheww...can you believe that deep inside my heart, I'm actually that EVIL??? Dude...are u kidding me? I couldn't even believe that I made up those crap by myself. Damn it...is there really that much hatred in me? Oh well, I guess when you work in that Stamford shithole for that long...you're bound to think of stuff like that.

Now, what was I saying...so yeah...today was such a boring day that I had so much free time to think of stuff like that. You know...I never felt this way before. When I first started this job as a room service attendant...I was so excited and so willing to learn. I took pride in my job, carried out the tasks responsibly, joke around with my colleagues, respect my managers and all the great values an employee can simply possess...you name it. But NOW, the feeling's gone...just gone with the wind. Now I simply feel the opposite. I don't take pride in my job anymore, in fact I think my job is demeaning. Taking orders and delivering food...and then clearing up their mess...it's okay if they eat like princesses. But what if they eat like pigs?? Who's gonna have to clear it? Ding dong...ROOM SERVICE ATTENDANT!! Sometimes you even find used condoms on the plates...and say you didn't realise it and touched it by accident. EWWWWW....trust me...it has happened before! Thank God not to me!

I also don't perform my tasks responsibly anymore...now I just do whatever I think is "enough". And for God's sakes, I don't really talk to or hang out with my colleagues anymore. We used to be so tight that everytime after work, we would go over to AV8 bar and have a drink, play pool and just go crazy. Now, I tend to just go straight home after my shift. I also don't respect my managers as much as before. I used to always say "YES" to my managers...no matter what. But now...I never fail to say "NO" or at least, I never agree to do something for them without putting up a fight. Sighh...I just wish everything was still like before, when I worked for fun, experience and of course money. But now, I'm just working for MONEY, MONEY and MONEY!!

When am I ever gonna get out of this shithole. My friends just say "Quit it if you don't like it no more!" Hah...is it that simple? Is it??? NOOOO!!! If I quit, where am I gonna get money for my guitar lessons? I still wanna be a musician someday, somewhere, somehow. And if I quit, how am I gonna pay for my gym membership...which I never go to! DAmn it...I really gotta start going to gym...I'm paying for the membership every week, but I never go. I haven't been to gym for approximately 3-4 months now....and yet I'm still paying for it. And if I quit, how the hell am I gonna pay for fuel? It's not like the price of fuel is getting cheaper by the day. And finally...if I quit...HOW THE HELL AM I GONNA EVER SAVE ENOUGH MONEY FOR MY VERY FIRST HOME...IN WHICH I INTEND TO OWN BY THE TIME I'M 25 YEARS OF AGE!! Now tell me my dear friends....HOW????!!!!

Alright, I'll get off this topic. So...despite all these negativity, I managed to think of something really cool. An awesome idea....not original...but still awesome!! I'm going to set up my own food diary very soon! What is food diary? Well, if you google "Food diary", most of the results will come out as diet methods. It's for ppl who care a lot about their weight, and they use a food diary to keep up with the food they eat. BUT...my food diary will be absolutely different. It's AWESOMER!! Is there such a word? Anyway, my food diary will feature any good food that I eat in restaurants and I'm going to write about how I like or dislike about the dish. Something like what food critics do....except that mine is just for the sake of increasing my knowledge about food and ingredients, and of course it can be useful for my future reference, when I have the opportunity to create my own menu. Now you see how I excited I am about food...

However, I'm still thinking how I should run this food diary idea. Should I create a blog especially for it, and this way ppl can give me comments or should I keep it discrete? In case someone steals my ideas! Haha...I'm not gonna worry 'bout that. It's not like I'm that great anyway. ALright...I guess I'll probably stop now. I'll catch you later in my next post. Thanks for reading. Bye!

Pilot

2008-09-16T02:23:00.002+10:00

It's my first post here on my new blog and I have spent the last 30 minutes thinking what to write...yet I'm still clueless. I don't exactly know what is supposed to be written on a blog....so I'm gonna start by introducing myself.

Hi, my name is Veron, 21 years of age, currently studying in Sydney, Australia. I'm a gurl with 2 passions...first one is playing the guitar ('duh)...and the second one is cooking. Hah...surprised?? Well...the truth is, I really do love cooking as much as playing the guitar...except that I'm so much more talented and natural in the latter. Ironically, I'm actually gonna be cooking for a living in the near future...Hah...wonder how's that gonna turn out. Imagine me in my whites, blue striped apron, chef's hat and a wok in front of me....in contrast to me, wearing hippie jeans, rock n roll t-shirt featuring Slash, while rockin' on a Gibson Les Paul electric guitar. Now tell me....which sounds more like me??? You'd be surprised that sometimes in life, you can't be who you truly are. Or at least in my life.

In a nutshell, I'm a university drop-out, aspiring to be a professional chef, while still dreaming to be a musician.....somehow, somewhere, someway...just like the Kenny Wayne Shepherd song. Somehow, I find it pathetic. I find it even more pathetic whinging about it. Alright, I'll stop!

Now I feel like talking 'bout something happy. Like the other time when I went for a ski trip at Snowy Mountains. I went with one friend...and four other strangers...who turned out to be pretty cool...and became friends. They were Bobby, Karen, Tony, Wen and Kitty. Oh thank God I still remember their names....u know me with names, right? I can never remember them. Actually, I kinda struggled a little there. One time, I almost forgot my boss' name...so in the end I just called him 'Boss'. Thank God he likes it when ppl calls him Boss.

Okay now, back to the trip. We were there for 3 days 2 nights. Overall, the trip was pretty awesome except for the speeding ticket from a real "El Stiffo" cop and a near-death experience we had when Tony skidded the van and almost turned the van over. Alright...I'll stop it with the negativity. Oh... not to forget that we nearly ran out of fuel coz someone was too stubborn to stop for fuel, just becoz he thinks that Caltex fuel is shit. Oh come on...it's just friggin' fuel. Okay okay...I'll drop it now! Promise!

So we were there...didn't ski on the first day coz we were all exhausted from the drive. Instead, we decided to have a nice hot pot dinner a.k.a steamboat and get drunk. Actually, only Bobby got drunk...and OMG...he just won't shut up when he's drunk! He just went on and on and on....'bout his so-called shit life...his relationship with his parents...etc. My God...it was horrible!! The worst part is...he won't let us talk! Everytime when one of us wants to say something, he'll just interrupt and continue on with his point. That was annoying! Really...it was! I mean...what...we're not entitled to our opinions just becoz you're drunk?? Anyway...it was cool.

Bobby, Kitty & Me

Bobby & Me - my face is red as usual...after a couple bottles of beer

Bobby, Kitty & Wen

The next day, we woke up early, collected our gears and took a train to Blue Cow Mountains. We had to wear our boots before catching the train coz it's gonna be slippery once we reached Blue Cow. So basically, we were walking like penguins...or ducks...whichever you find more amusing. I feel like I was wrapped like a wonton...literally! But trust me...it was worth it! When we reached there, it was so cold!! It was minus 2 degrees. And did I tell you I was a snow virgin?? For the first time in my life...I saw and touched snow! Like real snow that fell out of the sky...not the once that freezes into ice above the ground. It was actually snowing...

That's me! Looks like I just conquered Mt Everest.

Oops! Beanie came off.

Who took all these pics?? How come I was so candid?

See what I mean by "wonton"?

SKIING....damn damn damn....I am such a loser for skiing! The only thing that I was doing gracefully....was FALLING ON MY ASS!! If I had a picture of myself falling down, you'd know what I mean. We had lessons...and it's not like the instructor was any help. Our instructor was a great looking British guy....but he sucked in teaching...big time. What was his name again?? Damn I forgot...see what i mean? Joe or somethin'....or Dave....or some common dude name. Whatever. OH!! It's James! Or Jamie? Damn it...I give up!

So yeah...our instructor was shit...so we didn't learn much in our first lesson. We had a different instructor on the next day and he was so much better. Don't remember his name too! But damn it...he said I was still not ready to take the next slope...so I had to go back to that Jamie guy! What a drag. But guess what...that Jamie guy didn't really care much and let me take the steep slope anyway. HAHAHA....and not surprisingly, I fell on my ass after I went a little to speedy and lost balance. The thing about me is...once I fall, I can't get up on my own....coz my legs are too stiff...they don't exactly bend easily like a gymnist, okay? So...the instructor had to help me up everytime. Not that I was complaining or anything....I mean....he is good looking....and hot. Hmmm....

Alright....'nuff said!! Here are some more pictures.

That little person there is Bobby!

That's it for now my dear readers! Don't you think that's enough for today? Alrighty then, I hope that you enjoyed the pictures...and the occasional subtle jokes that I hope you guys get. I guess I'll catch you later!