#1 Days home alone: 44 (really dying of loneliness here)
#2 Days without school: 40 (i miss my friends, my dear chefs, my workstation, the route to college, wearing my uniform, writing my work flows, googling for definitions of culinary terms, sleeping and getting up early, eating cereal for breakfast, sharpening my knives at 6am in the morning, hand washing my chef's uniform every Monday night and most importantly, the satisfaction of cooking a complete foreign recipe for the very first time and actually succeeding at it.)
#3 Days without a job: 37 (dying of boredom...losing motivation...a li'l pinch of depression....and definitely running low on cash!)
#4 Weight gained ever since: 1 kilo (I was surprised...I thought it'd be more.)
#5 Time spent at home ever since: Increased by an average of 8 hours a day(Can you believe it? I used to have 8 hours of school 3 days/week and 20 hours of work per week....and now I'm just spending it at home...I really need a job don't I?)
#6 Time spent in front of computer ever since:Increased by an average of 5 hours a day(Yes, I'm a geek now. Online 24/7, googling and wiki-ing everything that I encounter, youtube-ing, downloading, chatting, shopping...the whole shebang.)
#7 Cash flow and savings: Cash flow is DUHHH...negative la!! Savings is going down hill day by day(From $2821.17 to $881.02 over the past 37 days and this does not even include rent and utilities. WTF did I spend it on?? OHhhh...that's right...my new mate, Senor Fender Strat)
#8 Amount spent on fuel:Decreased by 100%(I used to fill it up once every 2 weeks, approx 50 bucks for a full tank....and throughout this break,which has been a month plus now, I've only filled it up once! I guess that explains the lack of traveling...and activities.)
#9 Human contact: Decreased significantly...sometimes even zero contact.(The only ppl I hang with is Angela, Ivy and Vivien...but not very frequently. I see Angela once a week when we go walking along the coast lines, Vivien on weekends if im lucky and Ivy once in a blue moon. Not to forget my guitar teacher every friday for an hour. AND THAT'S IT!!! Me and my pathetic jobless life. And I'm definitely not getting any....not that I ever did when I still had a job...lol.)
#10 Stress level: Very low...almost zero.(I used to be stressed out everyday from cooking in school and work. But I'm so chilled out everyday now...I even go to the beach and just lie on the sands for hours. How chilled out is that? The only thing that I stress about is thinking what I should do everyday....now that's a fucking headache!)
#11 Talking to myself time: Increased by A LOT!!(I've been talking to myself a lot lately....it's starting to freak myself out. Lol...but it still hasn't reached the extent of becoming cuckoo...so I guess I'm alright. But I've been motivating myself a lot....like, "Come on, Veron...get your ass outta bed and get outta the house!" OR "Oh shut up, Veron...u sound like a fuckin mocking bird (usually say that when I sing)" OR "Hey man, u gotta clean up the house today man...everything's a mess and u're living like a freakin' pig!" Yeah stuff like that, u know.)
#12 Sleeping hours: Not as routined as before and increased by 2-3 hours a day.(When I had school and a job, I sleep about an average of 7 hours a day....but now, I sleep about 10 hours a day...and that doesn't even include naps. Lazy mother fucker.)
#13 Life improvement: Became worse.(I thought that after I quit my job, I might be able to get some kinda life back. I guess I was wrong to assume that....it seems like being jobless seems to have taken my life away even more. This is very sad...especially when it means that work was actually a big part of my life before...and I don't have any other exciting stuff happening outside of it. Sigh...life is indeed very empty when you're not doing something that matters.)
Wanna swap lives?
I bet you're thinking..."What the fuck is she complaining bout...she don't need to work, don't need to study and don't have no stress...what the hell does she want more?"
Truth is....the grass is always greener on the other side. The best solution is, embrace what you have...and enjoy it while you can. Coz you'll never know that it might be taken away from you tomorrow.
I'm currently hunting for a job...and I'm really dying to start working again. But if you go back a few months back, I remember complaining bout work in almost every posts. Lol...I guess humans are strange that way. They want what they don't have...and they don't want what they have. I guess at the moment, I want what I don't have....which is a damn J-O-B!!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
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