Oh my god...I'm procrastinating yet again. What am I doing here, when I'm actually supposed to study for my theory exam. Damn it...I'm such a procrastinator. I've been like that for the past few days. I would do absolutely EVERYTHING but study. I would clean the house (which I normally hate), do my laundry, cook, watch movies, grocery shopping, sleep, just lie on the bed, write my blog, etc....but I just wouldn't sit down and study. What the hell am I doing? So help me God.
It's starting to get really quiet and lonely here in Sydney. Everybody's back in KK or their home country. Sigh...
Well, I don't care, but this year, I'm gonna have a big christmas eve dinner feast here. Now that I've learnt lots of cooking skills, I can actually apply it in real life. Christmas dinner would be my first challenge. Actually, we had a feast last year...and it wasn't half bad. Well, Evan did most of the roasting though...but the turkey was a little under-cooked. I guess this year would be a big improvement. This year, I'll be cooking...and the menu is not gonna be boring like last year. This year...I'm gonna create a menu that is simple in preparation, but delicious in consumption. The only problem is...I really hate my kitchen. It's too small and there's not enough space for me to work around on. Well, I guess I just gotta work with what I've got.
This is why Christmas is my favourite holiday, ya know. All the delicious food and wine. MMmmmMmm...I'm drooling already. I wish we could do this back at home...but this is really not a tradition in my family. Plus, everyone's so damn busy with their own shit, that no one's usually home on Christmas. Ppl used to tell me that I should always associate Christmas with the birth of Jesus Christ and all that shebang....but I think I'm starting to become a bit of an atheist. I might have stopped believing...
Anyway...I really gotta sit my ass down and study. I'll be back later. Have a good one!
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Practical exams.....DONE!!!
PhhhHEEeeEWwwWWw.........
Finally, IT'S OVER!! My practical exams are finally over and done with! I just can't explain how relieved I am. OMG...I was so freakin' nervous this morning. I just couldn't stop fidgeting around. I couldn't stop talking...couldn't stop moving. I was restless....it was as if I had a worm up my ass. But anyway...everything went exceptionally well today. Needless to say, I passed my exam. It's just the final mark I'm pretty anxious about. I don't wanna just get a pass or merit. I wanna get a distinction. But due to the bureaucracy in the administration of my college, I'm only gonna know about my results 3-4 weeks after my next semester starts, which is some time in February. How late is that?!? I wanna know now, damn it.
Any-who...my exams was "Beef Consomme" and "Rack of Lamb with Parsley Crust". Beef Consomme is like a clear soup...very very clear soup. There's no sediments, impurities or fat like normal Asian soups have. It's really clear...like tea without the tea sediments. Like water, but with color. The trick with this dish is, you gotta use egg whites to clear up the soup. The egg whites will bring all the sediments to the surface and it'll just float up there the rest of the time. And then when it's ready, it has to be strained thru a filter paper to ensure that there're no sediments, fat or whatsoever in the soup. That's how clear the soup has to be. It really is an amazing science. I did pretty okay with this entree. My soup was really really clear, has the right color and flavor, and it's free of fat. So I guess I did pretty good with this dish.
As for the main dish, Rack of Lamb with Parsley Crust, I didn't do so well. I didn't seal the lamb with the crust properly. So there were a couple of bald spots. And I so regret using the damn thermometer to measure the temp, so that I get the right doneness. Blood came out of the part where I stuck my thermometer needle in, and it ruined part of my crust. Damn the thermometer. But other than that, everything was not too bad. Wasn't great either. But I guess it's pretty good for a person who has only cooked professionally for the past 8 weeks. My sauce was really good...had the right texture and flavor. And my meat was cooked medium rare...which was the required doneness. And my garnish of potatoes, carrots and turnips were great.
Now that my practical exams are over, I'm gonna have to start studying for my theory. Well, to be honest, I'm pretty confident with my theory. It's not very difficult when you have no problems with English. For the international students who don't really know English, it would definitely be a problem. And you gotta pass theory to pass the course. So there's no escaping there. But I'm kinda aiming for full marks for my theory...if not, then at least in the 90s. So...wish me luck on that.
Other than exams, there's also one major thing that happened in my life. I finally pulled the plug on my job. I resigned last Thursday...and OMG...I was so relieved after that. I was so lightened up and...believe it or not...so much happier. Well, it really is about time that I quit my job....been there for a year and a half, and it has kinda reached the extent where there's really nothing left to learn. I'm really gonna miss my colleagues though...they're great...they're the only ones I'm gonna miss in that job. But I guess I gotta move on someday...so why not now, especially when management is getting so chaotic. So my last day will be on December 7th. After that, I'll be jobless.....for quite a while. I'm gonna take a break for a while. But as far as money concerns, it's quite a worry. I wouldn't have steady income after I quit my job. But I do have some savings with me...should be sufficient for the time being. That guitar lesson is really killing me...200 bucks every month just goes away like that.
I was thinking of going back to KK this Christmas, since I've quit my job and I have around 6 weeks of holiday. But when I checked the air tickets, it's so damn expensive...and then the exchange rate is so low now...I decided not to. I'll stay here and explore the country a bit, as well as practise my cooking and prepare for my next semester. You might think that I'm a little uptight about this, but trust me, cooking is different from studying in Uni. If you don't practise cooking, you'll forget the skill easily. So this is like a skill that has to be practised everyday. If I go back to KK, I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna cook at home...plus it's really hard to find good ingredients there. And there's no oven at home too. So I was like...forget it...just wait till the new house is built, then I'll go back.
Hmm..what else is there to say? Well...Nickelback's new album, Dark Horse is fuckin' awesome!! Best album ever!! You guys should listen to it. And I guess that's it. I'll put up some photos of my classmates and chefs in the next couple of weeks. So...until then, goodbye!
Finally, IT'S OVER!! My practical exams are finally over and done with! I just can't explain how relieved I am. OMG...I was so freakin' nervous this morning. I just couldn't stop fidgeting around. I couldn't stop talking...couldn't stop moving. I was restless....it was as if I had a worm up my ass. But anyway...everything went exceptionally well today. Needless to say, I passed my exam. It's just the final mark I'm pretty anxious about. I don't wanna just get a pass or merit. I wanna get a distinction. But due to the bureaucracy in the administration of my college, I'm only gonna know about my results 3-4 weeks after my next semester starts, which is some time in February. How late is that?!? I wanna know now, damn it.
Any-who...my exams was "Beef Consomme" and "Rack of Lamb with Parsley Crust". Beef Consomme is like a clear soup...very very clear soup. There's no sediments, impurities or fat like normal Asian soups have. It's really clear...like tea without the tea sediments. Like water, but with color. The trick with this dish is, you gotta use egg whites to clear up the soup. The egg whites will bring all the sediments to the surface and it'll just float up there the rest of the time. And then when it's ready, it has to be strained thru a filter paper to ensure that there're no sediments, fat or whatsoever in the soup. That's how clear the soup has to be. It really is an amazing science. I did pretty okay with this entree. My soup was really really clear, has the right color and flavor, and it's free of fat. So I guess I did pretty good with this dish.
As for the main dish, Rack of Lamb with Parsley Crust, I didn't do so well. I didn't seal the lamb with the crust properly. So there were a couple of bald spots. And I so regret using the damn thermometer to measure the temp, so that I get the right doneness. Blood came out of the part where I stuck my thermometer needle in, and it ruined part of my crust. Damn the thermometer. But other than that, everything was not too bad. Wasn't great either. But I guess it's pretty good for a person who has only cooked professionally for the past 8 weeks. My sauce was really good...had the right texture and flavor. And my meat was cooked medium rare...which was the required doneness. And my garnish of potatoes, carrots and turnips were great.
Now that my practical exams are over, I'm gonna have to start studying for my theory. Well, to be honest, I'm pretty confident with my theory. It's not very difficult when you have no problems with English. For the international students who don't really know English, it would definitely be a problem. And you gotta pass theory to pass the course. So there's no escaping there. But I'm kinda aiming for full marks for my theory...if not, then at least in the 90s. So...wish me luck on that.
Other than exams, there's also one major thing that happened in my life. I finally pulled the plug on my job. I resigned last Thursday...and OMG...I was so relieved after that. I was so lightened up and...believe it or not...so much happier. Well, it really is about time that I quit my job....been there for a year and a half, and it has kinda reached the extent where there's really nothing left to learn. I'm really gonna miss my colleagues though...they're great...they're the only ones I'm gonna miss in that job. But I guess I gotta move on someday...so why not now, especially when management is getting so chaotic. So my last day will be on December 7th. After that, I'll be jobless.....for quite a while. I'm gonna take a break for a while. But as far as money concerns, it's quite a worry. I wouldn't have steady income after I quit my job. But I do have some savings with me...should be sufficient for the time being. That guitar lesson is really killing me...200 bucks every month just goes away like that.
I was thinking of going back to KK this Christmas, since I've quit my job and I have around 6 weeks of holiday. But when I checked the air tickets, it's so damn expensive...and then the exchange rate is so low now...I decided not to. I'll stay here and explore the country a bit, as well as practise my cooking and prepare for my next semester. You might think that I'm a little uptight about this, but trust me, cooking is different from studying in Uni. If you don't practise cooking, you'll forget the skill easily. So this is like a skill that has to be practised everyday. If I go back to KK, I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna cook at home...plus it's really hard to find good ingredients there. And there's no oven at home too. So I was like...forget it...just wait till the new house is built, then I'll go back.
Hmm..what else is there to say? Well...Nickelback's new album, Dark Horse is fuckin' awesome!! Best album ever!! You guys should listen to it. And I guess that's it. I'll put up some photos of my classmates and chefs in the next couple of weeks. So...until then, goodbye!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
I swear...my chef hates me!
OMG...my practical exams are up next week and the recipe for the exam is gonna be announced tomorrow. I'm so fucking nervous. I hope it's not that chicken dish where I gotta cut the chicken into 8 pieces...coz honestly, I have no idea how. I'm gonna have to cook 2 dishes for my exams...1 entree and 1 main. I just pray that the main is gonna be something like Braised lamb shanks or Poached ocean trout...just as long as it's not chicken! Oh God...you gotta help me this time.
Anyway, I swear...my practical chef hates me. She's a Philippino lady and she likes to pick on me. And it's not like I'm doing anything wrong or what. Like today, she busted me for taking too many containers to my workstation. I was like...I need it woman. I know how many containers I need and what the fuck...it's just containers!! Why the hell does she care? Another incident today...I was looking for strings to tie up my fillet steak..and it's usually placed on the chef's table in front of the kitchen. And since I didn't see it there, I asked her where it was. And then she raised her voice and said, "Look...there's so many strings there. Open your eyes!", as she pointed towards a little compartment next to the whiteboard. Then I was like...what the fuck woman...what's the strings doing next to the whiteboard? It's supposed to be on the table..or anywhere else that is visible to everyone! I mean...dude...she could've just told me in a nice tone that the strings are right there. She didn't have to give me the third degree. She is such a bitch.
That's the reason why I hate Tuesdays the most. Coz first, I have a shit Demo chef, in which I think she revealed her real sexuality by accident in class today. She said, "My partner's husband was bla bla bla...." So by partner's husband, I think her partner should be a woman? So she's a lesbo. Eugghhh...I hate lesbians. Can't stand them...never wanna be around them. I hate gays too...especially the gurl gays aka the fish. They are so fuckin' annoying...and they're total bitches. They're even bitchier than gurls. The funniest thing was...nobody actually realized that she said that....it's either that or they didn't understand her. Hahaha!! Coz my course is full of Asians who can't understand English very well.
And another reason I hate Tuesdays is because of this practical chef that always picks on me for no reason. I don't mind if she kicks my ass for something that I did wrong...but she normally picks on me for no reason. I'm glad that the semester is ending soon. Coz come next semester, I'm probably not gonna have her as my practical chef no more. But if I do, it sure is gonna be a test of my patience. I just gotta learn how not to lose my temper if she keeps getting on my nerves. I'm not exactly a very patient person...or a person who can take up constant ass-kicking. I normally burst after it reaches the limit...and when it does, it's like a volcano eruption that can be difficult to put out.
As for my head chef, Steve, I love him so much! He's the best chef in the world. In my opinion, I think he's better than Gordon Ramsay....oh well, in some ways. He's very strict...but he's reasonable you know. As long as you follow his set of rules, you're fine. And he's always happy to answer our questions, no matter how stupid it is. His demos are always a thrill...very insightful and interesting. You just can't fall asleep in his class, no matter how tired you are. His voice just keeps me awake and his teaching style motivates me to learn. Basically, he's awesome!
Well, he kinda likes to pick on me too...but in a nice way u know. Like during the beginning of the semester, someone asked about what's the difference between calamari and squid. Then he asked me and this dude to stand up for some role playing. He picked me as calamari and the other dude as squid and we had to act like whatever we were. And it was hilarious u know. So from then on, ppl call me Miss Calamari. It was really embarassing, especially during the first couple of weeks. And then there was another time when he picked me again for his role playing. This time, he wanted to explain why goats produce less milk than a cow. So there he goes...he picked me again for his li'l role play. I was the goat...and he picked this huge massive guy to act as the cow. And he said, "Do you see the difference between these two? Not the gender. The size!!!" Everyone was laughing their asses off...even I was laughin' my ass off...but at the same time I was embarrassed to death. Then he said, "So obviously the cow is gonna produce more milk than the goat because the cow is bigger than a goat." And from then on, I became "The Goat"! Random ppl start calling me "Goat", even if I don't know who they are. Way to go to be popular....in a really stupid way.
And then yesterday, Chef Steve picked on me once again in his li'l animal kingdom role plays. We cooked Venison yesterday... and we used the tenderloin part. So some dude asked where the tenderloins are...and Chef Steve was like..."Come come you...stand up!!" He pulled my hand while I resisted. The whole class was laughin' already. And then he pointed at me and said, "Okay...this is Bambi here!" At first, only a few ppl got it, coz u know, freakin' asians don't watch Bambi. Then after some explanation on what it is, they finally got it and laughed. And then he said, "The tenderloin is this part here", while pointing to my back muscles. It was hilarious...I was really laughin' my ass off coz it was so freakin' embarrassing! I mean...wtf...3 times in a row he made me role play an animal. What...he sees me as food or sumthing? And now...my permanent nick name is Bambi! The funniest thing was...there's this Korean guy who never knew what my name was, even though we're pretty chatty with each other. He kept calling me Bambi...and at one stage, he came and ask me..."Actually, what's your name? I never knew it!" I just burst out laughing after that.
I'm glad to finally get some laughs in school...as compared to the first couple of weeks where everyone was so uptight and serious. Even I'm starting to chill a little and let out my true colors. I'm referring to my craziness. And I'm really starting to get the hang of it. I remember when I first started, I was a complete klutz and I was as slow as a snail. But now, I'm really confident at what I'm doing and I'm not the last one no more. In fact, I'm one of the first ones now to finish my dishes. I can't believe I've improved so much. I guess hard work and determination pays well.
Alright, I gtg now. I'm gonna post up another one tomorrow and I'm gonna reveal the exam dishes I gotta make. Have fun guys! Catch you later.
Anyway, I swear...my practical chef hates me. She's a Philippino lady and she likes to pick on me. And it's not like I'm doing anything wrong or what. Like today, she busted me for taking too many containers to my workstation. I was like...I need it woman. I know how many containers I need and what the fuck...it's just containers!! Why the hell does she care? Another incident today...I was looking for strings to tie up my fillet steak..and it's usually placed on the chef's table in front of the kitchen. And since I didn't see it there, I asked her where it was. And then she raised her voice and said, "Look...there's so many strings there. Open your eyes!", as she pointed towards a little compartment next to the whiteboard. Then I was like...what the fuck woman...what's the strings doing next to the whiteboard? It's supposed to be on the table..or anywhere else that is visible to everyone! I mean...dude...she could've just told me in a nice tone that the strings are right there. She didn't have to give me the third degree. She is such a bitch.
That's the reason why I hate Tuesdays the most. Coz first, I have a shit Demo chef, in which I think she revealed her real sexuality by accident in class today. She said, "My partner's husband was bla bla bla...." So by partner's husband, I think her partner should be a woman? So she's a lesbo. Eugghhh...I hate lesbians. Can't stand them...never wanna be around them. I hate gays too...especially the gurl gays aka the fish. They are so fuckin' annoying...and they're total bitches. They're even bitchier than gurls. The funniest thing was...nobody actually realized that she said that....it's either that or they didn't understand her. Hahaha!! Coz my course is full of Asians who can't understand English very well.
And another reason I hate Tuesdays is because of this practical chef that always picks on me for no reason. I don't mind if she kicks my ass for something that I did wrong...but she normally picks on me for no reason. I'm glad that the semester is ending soon. Coz come next semester, I'm probably not gonna have her as my practical chef no more. But if I do, it sure is gonna be a test of my patience. I just gotta learn how not to lose my temper if she keeps getting on my nerves. I'm not exactly a very patient person...or a person who can take up constant ass-kicking. I normally burst after it reaches the limit...and when it does, it's like a volcano eruption that can be difficult to put out.
As for my head chef, Steve, I love him so much! He's the best chef in the world. In my opinion, I think he's better than Gordon Ramsay....oh well, in some ways. He's very strict...but he's reasonable you know. As long as you follow his set of rules, you're fine. And he's always happy to answer our questions, no matter how stupid it is. His demos are always a thrill...very insightful and interesting. You just can't fall asleep in his class, no matter how tired you are. His voice just keeps me awake and his teaching style motivates me to learn. Basically, he's awesome!
Well, he kinda likes to pick on me too...but in a nice way u know. Like during the beginning of the semester, someone asked about what's the difference between calamari and squid. Then he asked me and this dude to stand up for some role playing. He picked me as calamari and the other dude as squid and we had to act like whatever we were. And it was hilarious u know. So from then on, ppl call me Miss Calamari. It was really embarassing, especially during the first couple of weeks. And then there was another time when he picked me again for his role playing. This time, he wanted to explain why goats produce less milk than a cow. So there he goes...he picked me again for his li'l role play. I was the goat...and he picked this huge massive guy to act as the cow. And he said, "Do you see the difference between these two? Not the gender. The size!!!" Everyone was laughing their asses off...even I was laughin' my ass off...but at the same time I was embarrassed to death. Then he said, "So obviously the cow is gonna produce more milk than the goat because the cow is bigger than a goat." And from then on, I became "The Goat"! Random ppl start calling me "Goat", even if I don't know who they are. Way to go to be popular....in a really stupid way.
And then yesterday, Chef Steve picked on me once again in his li'l animal kingdom role plays. We cooked Venison yesterday... and we used the tenderloin part. So some dude asked where the tenderloins are...and Chef Steve was like..."Come come you...stand up!!" He pulled my hand while I resisted. The whole class was laughin' already. And then he pointed at me and said, "Okay...this is Bambi here!" At first, only a few ppl got it, coz u know, freakin' asians don't watch Bambi. Then after some explanation on what it is, they finally got it and laughed. And then he said, "The tenderloin is this part here", while pointing to my back muscles. It was hilarious...I was really laughin' my ass off coz it was so freakin' embarrassing! I mean...wtf...3 times in a row he made me role play an animal. What...he sees me as food or sumthing? And now...my permanent nick name is Bambi! The funniest thing was...there's this Korean guy who never knew what my name was, even though we're pretty chatty with each other. He kept calling me Bambi...and at one stage, he came and ask me..."Actually, what's your name? I never knew it!" I just burst out laughing after that.
I'm glad to finally get some laughs in school...as compared to the first couple of weeks where everyone was so uptight and serious. Even I'm starting to chill a little and let out my true colors. I'm referring to my craziness. And I'm really starting to get the hang of it. I remember when I first started, I was a complete klutz and I was as slow as a snail. But now, I'm really confident at what I'm doing and I'm not the last one no more. In fact, I'm one of the first ones now to finish my dishes. I can't believe I've improved so much. I guess hard work and determination pays well.
Alright, I gtg now. I'm gonna post up another one tomorrow and I'm gonna reveal the exam dishes I gotta make. Have fun guys! Catch you later.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Friends Never After
Hi guys, yet again. This is gonna be a short one. Today was great...I was great in class. I was fast and most importantly, on time. I was one of the first ones to serve the food up to my chef and she said I did great today. She's glad...I'm glad. So anyway, I had a great day.
You ever wonder 'bout all this friends forever shit? Well, I did...today. There's this friend I've known since kindergarten and he was my best friend back then. We were great together as friends, up until primary 4 when we started hanging out with other friends. Then we were friends again in form 3 and we even played in a band together. We talked about everything...God, relationship, problems, music, yada yada. I loved it. The friendship was real...it almost felt like it was unbreakable.
Then comes high school graduation, we went our separate ways. We never contacted each other after that, unless we were back home in KK. Even that, we never really preserved that sorta bond....that friendship like it was before. We were more like long lost friends trying to get to know each other again. I was okay with that back then, coz at least we still msn each other once in a while or even talk on the phone.
But when time goes on and on, we stopped doing that. We were out of each other's life. We were like strangers to each other. We're worse than hi-bye friends...mainly becoz we never contacted each other at all. But every once in a while, I would send him an email asking him how he was doing....but I will never ever ever get a reply from em'. Not even a late one. So from then on, I stopped emailing him.
Then one fine day, he sent me an email to an address which I rarely use and he asked how I was doing and shit like that. Then I go, Okay...he's reaching out to me and I guess he wants to know how I'm doing and all. So I replied his email and told him about the changes in my life. Like how I dropped outta uni and am going to culinary school. And how I've been taking guitar lessons for a year now and it's been great. You know...catch-up stuff. To be honest, I got really excited hearing from him, coz he was one of my closest friends and I really missed the times we shared as friends. The jamming, the arguments, the annoying stuff he did, and everything else.
So I was kinda expecting him to reply my email and perhaps even tell me how his life had been. I actually checked my inbox that I rarely use EVERYDAY...which I normally don't. I usually check that inbox on a monthly basis. So after about 2 weeks, I gave up. I didn't check that inbox ever again for his reply....up until today. I was kinda crossing my fingers about it. But once again, I was disappointed.
It's been more than a month now since I replied his email, and there's no sign of him anywhere. Frankly, I am very upset about it. Because...what the fuck...we've been friends for like...more than a decade!! Like 16 years man!! And is this how you treat a friend?? Well, I don't expect gifts and flowers....and hell no, I don't even expect him to wish me happy birthday on my birthday, but what I hope at least is for him to reply my fuckin' emails.
So just a while ago, I sent him quite a short but in-your-face kinda email. Basically, I told him that he shouldn't send me anymore emails out of the blue and when I reply, he's just gonna disappear like a ghost and not reply to it. I know it's quite a random sorta email to send to him, but I just want him to know that he shouldn't forget about his friends so quickly. It took us 16 years to build our friendship, but just a couple of years to kill it. It really does start to sound like a cliche.
I don't know why it's such a big deal to me. I know I sometimes do it to my own friends as well. Sometimes I forget about them. I think last year I forgot 'bout Jacq's birthday...but then I did remember it a couple of days later. But once again...I'm not expecting him to remember my b'day or anything like that. But I just wanna keep in touch and update ourselves with each other. But he's like this phantom that comes and goes whenever he wants. I really hate that. It's either you come or you go. I don't care if it goes either way....just don't pretend and ask about me and then ignore it.
So I guess friends are not forever after all. And life still goes on after that. So there's no point to be grieving about it. And I'm not in grief. I'm just a li'l upset 'bout it. Anyway, that's all I gotta say today. I'm sure some of you would know who I'm talking about...and I'm sure you guys have had the same experience. But life goes on anyway. So I'll catch you guys later! Bye!
p/s: It's not a short post, I know. But it's the shortest among all of my posts! Hehe! *winK*
You ever wonder 'bout all this friends forever shit? Well, I did...today. There's this friend I've known since kindergarten and he was my best friend back then. We were great together as friends, up until primary 4 when we started hanging out with other friends. Then we were friends again in form 3 and we even played in a band together. We talked about everything...God, relationship, problems, music, yada yada. I loved it. The friendship was real...it almost felt like it was unbreakable.
Then comes high school graduation, we went our separate ways. We never contacted each other after that, unless we were back home in KK. Even that, we never really preserved that sorta bond....that friendship like it was before. We were more like long lost friends trying to get to know each other again. I was okay with that back then, coz at least we still msn each other once in a while or even talk on the phone.
But when time goes on and on, we stopped doing that. We were out of each other's life. We were like strangers to each other. We're worse than hi-bye friends...mainly becoz we never contacted each other at all. But every once in a while, I would send him an email asking him how he was doing....but I will never ever ever get a reply from em'. Not even a late one. So from then on, I stopped emailing him.
Then one fine day, he sent me an email to an address which I rarely use and he asked how I was doing and shit like that. Then I go, Okay...he's reaching out to me and I guess he wants to know how I'm doing and all. So I replied his email and told him about the changes in my life. Like how I dropped outta uni and am going to culinary school. And how I've been taking guitar lessons for a year now and it's been great. You know...catch-up stuff. To be honest, I got really excited hearing from him, coz he was one of my closest friends and I really missed the times we shared as friends. The jamming, the arguments, the annoying stuff he did, and everything else.
So I was kinda expecting him to reply my email and perhaps even tell me how his life had been. I actually checked my inbox that I rarely use EVERYDAY...which I normally don't. I usually check that inbox on a monthly basis. So after about 2 weeks, I gave up. I didn't check that inbox ever again for his reply....up until today. I was kinda crossing my fingers about it. But once again, I was disappointed.
It's been more than a month now since I replied his email, and there's no sign of him anywhere. Frankly, I am very upset about it. Because...what the fuck...we've been friends for like...more than a decade!! Like 16 years man!! And is this how you treat a friend?? Well, I don't expect gifts and flowers....and hell no, I don't even expect him to wish me happy birthday on my birthday, but what I hope at least is for him to reply my fuckin' emails.
So just a while ago, I sent him quite a short but in-your-face kinda email. Basically, I told him that he shouldn't send me anymore emails out of the blue and when I reply, he's just gonna disappear like a ghost and not reply to it. I know it's quite a random sorta email to send to him, but I just want him to know that he shouldn't forget about his friends so quickly. It took us 16 years to build our friendship, but just a couple of years to kill it. It really does start to sound like a cliche.
I don't know why it's such a big deal to me. I know I sometimes do it to my own friends as well. Sometimes I forget about them. I think last year I forgot 'bout Jacq's birthday...but then I did remember it a couple of days later. But once again...I'm not expecting him to remember my b'day or anything like that. But I just wanna keep in touch and update ourselves with each other. But he's like this phantom that comes and goes whenever he wants. I really hate that. It's either you come or you go. I don't care if it goes either way....just don't pretend and ask about me and then ignore it.
So I guess friends are not forever after all. And life still goes on after that. So there's no point to be grieving about it. And I'm not in grief. I'm just a li'l upset 'bout it. Anyway, that's all I gotta say today. I'm sure some of you would know who I'm talking about...and I'm sure you guys have had the same experience. But life goes on anyway. So I'll catch you guys later! Bye!
p/s: It's not a short post, I know. But it's the shortest among all of my posts! Hehe! *winK*
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Born a musician, made a cook...
I'm really tired today...after a long long day of class. Today we made soup and soup and.....soup again! We made 3 types of soups today. Pumpkin soup, Crab Bisque and Cold pureed Beetroot soup. I thought the pumpkin soup was kinda unique, coz we served it in a little pumpkin, instead of a bowl. Forgot to take a picture of it...actually my camera is fucked, so I can only take pictures with my cell, which is a lousy piece of shit. My Crab Bisque was the best!! It had the right texture, color and flavor. Chef said it needed more seasoning...which is true...but coming from my family, we normally have bland food...so my palette still needs some work in identifying whether or not the food is bland or just right. I was one of the 5 ppl in my class who managed to produce a "pass" crab bisque. So I was really proud of myself. The only flaw was...I was too slow.
Chef had a small talk with me, mainly about my work flow and speed. She said the food that I cook is really good, but it's way past the service time. She's kinda worried that I'm gonna run outta time during the exams because I've been so slow since Day 1. Actually, that's kinda a big worry for me too and that's why I've been so stressed out about my exams. I'm not worried bout my theory at all, although it's a 13-page written exam. But I am worried about my practical part. I'm so scared that I'd screw up, panic, and flunk my practical.
Honestly, I have no frickin' idea why I'm so damn slow in completing the dishes. I mean, I got started pretty quickly and then it just sorta died off...I don't know how...don't know why. Actually, I still can't accept myself for being slow. Coz I'm normally quite fast in doing stuff...anything...I drive fast, eat fast, walk fast, write fast, etc. My reflex is pretty fast, that's what I realized. But the only thing is...I'm such a slow thinker. MY BRAINS...MY FUCKIN' BRAINS are so fuckin' slow that sometimes, I just feel like smashing it against the wall. And damn it...I just can't remember stuff anymore, like I used to. Am I getting fuckin' old or what?
But then again, I guess this is the difference between having talent and not having talent. People who have talent in something just picks up fast and becomes very natural at what they do. I, for one, do not have talent in cooking, whatsoever! Finally, I'm admitting this. I have no fuckin' talent in cooking. All I have is desire and passion. Sometimes I do wonder if that's enough in order to be successful. I'm just not born for this shit,...I know that. I'm no Gordon fuckin Ramsay. I'm more to Slash or Jimmy Page...or Bonnie Raitt. I was born to play music, not fuckin' cook.
I sometimes hate it when my guitar teacher compliments me bout my playing. It feels good at that moment, but when you think about it afterwards, it makes me wonder whether I've made the right decision in becoming a chef. It makes me feel like...why the fuck am I in culinary school? I should be in a fuckin' music school for shit's sake. With all the shit that I can play, and with my talent and determination, I could be a rockstar. I could be recording in a studio in Hollywood right now, with famous ppl and shit.
But then again, it could go the other way. I could become a rockstar-wannabe...who keeps on dreamin' and dreamin' 'bout being one that I just throw my whole life away. Some ppl just keep chasin' n chasing their dreams....but never capture them. Just like heroin. You just keep chasing the fuckin' dragon...but you can never catch it. Then it all becomes like an addiction. An addiction to chasing dreams that can never be captured. And I guess this is why I'm in culinary school.
I'm not saying that I'm gonna give up on music...hell no baby! I'm still hoping that one day, I could be in the music business. Or at least one day when I'm filthy rich, then I can open my own record company, scout for talent and become the producer for these talented artists. Or...I could just play gigs on weekends or special functions as a part-time thing, ya know. Something like that. Or maybe even teach...I don't know...it might happen! My point is...I just don't wanna spend all my time and money chasing and chasing for something that might turn into an addiction. Like devoting into something that might not yield any positive results.
However, I won't deny the fact that I was definitely born to be a musician! I'm definitely meant for that. I mean...I sure as hell wasn't born to draw....HAHAHA!! A fuckin' cow-dog?? Anyway...it's just a shame that I didn't have the opportunity to actually become one. If you ask me...hell yeah, I'm a li'l bitter about it...but what can I do about it, right? And then again, cooking isn't so bad after all. Maybe it'll take me twice as much hard work to be successful in it, due to the lack of talent, but it'll do. It'll happen for me. I know it will...someday. I can see myself running a kitchen in the future. I can see myself running my own restaurant someday. And I can definitely see myself happy in being a chef.
A friend said to me a few days ago...
"A person should change careers for at least 2 times in his/her life. This way, they get to know themselves better and achieve different experiences in life, and they won't have to wonder what's it gonna be like if they were somethin' else."
I reckon this statement is so true. I mean...how the fuck can you just be an accountant throughout your whole life? Or how the hell can you just be a cop forever? Or a teacher? A doctor? An engineer? Don't u sometimes wonder what's it like to be somethin' else other than what you are right now? Well, if you don't, then you're either a very contented person or you're just too afraid to think about it. I honestly think that this question definitely pops up in every adult's mind...maybe not yet, but definitely in the future.
Alright, I guess that's enough philosophy for the day. I hope all these don't sound too gibberish to you...coz if you understand what I mean, there's some truth to what I've been saying. Okay...I'll see u again in the next post.
Chef had a small talk with me, mainly about my work flow and speed. She said the food that I cook is really good, but it's way past the service time. She's kinda worried that I'm gonna run outta time during the exams because I've been so slow since Day 1. Actually, that's kinda a big worry for me too and that's why I've been so stressed out about my exams. I'm not worried bout my theory at all, although it's a 13-page written exam. But I am worried about my practical part. I'm so scared that I'd screw up, panic, and flunk my practical.
Honestly, I have no frickin' idea why I'm so damn slow in completing the dishes. I mean, I got started pretty quickly and then it just sorta died off...I don't know how...don't know why. Actually, I still can't accept myself for being slow. Coz I'm normally quite fast in doing stuff...anything...I drive fast, eat fast, walk fast, write fast, etc. My reflex is pretty fast, that's what I realized. But the only thing is...I'm such a slow thinker. MY BRAINS...MY FUCKIN' BRAINS are so fuckin' slow that sometimes, I just feel like smashing it against the wall. And damn it...I just can't remember stuff anymore, like I used to. Am I getting fuckin' old or what?
But then again, I guess this is the difference between having talent and not having talent. People who have talent in something just picks up fast and becomes very natural at what they do. I, for one, do not have talent in cooking, whatsoever! Finally, I'm admitting this. I have no fuckin' talent in cooking. All I have is desire and passion. Sometimes I do wonder if that's enough in order to be successful. I'm just not born for this shit,...I know that. I'm no Gordon fuckin Ramsay. I'm more to Slash or Jimmy Page...or Bonnie Raitt. I was born to play music, not fuckin' cook.
I sometimes hate it when my guitar teacher compliments me bout my playing. It feels good at that moment, but when you think about it afterwards, it makes me wonder whether I've made the right decision in becoming a chef. It makes me feel like...why the fuck am I in culinary school? I should be in a fuckin' music school for shit's sake. With all the shit that I can play, and with my talent and determination, I could be a rockstar. I could be recording in a studio in Hollywood right now, with famous ppl and shit.
But then again, it could go the other way. I could become a rockstar-wannabe...who keeps on dreamin' and dreamin' 'bout being one that I just throw my whole life away. Some ppl just keep chasin' n chasing their dreams....but never capture them. Just like heroin. You just keep chasing the fuckin' dragon...but you can never catch it. Then it all becomes like an addiction. An addiction to chasing dreams that can never be captured. And I guess this is why I'm in culinary school.
I'm not saying that I'm gonna give up on music...hell no baby! I'm still hoping that one day, I could be in the music business. Or at least one day when I'm filthy rich, then I can open my own record company, scout for talent and become the producer for these talented artists. Or...I could just play gigs on weekends or special functions as a part-time thing, ya know. Something like that. Or maybe even teach...I don't know...it might happen! My point is...I just don't wanna spend all my time and money chasing and chasing for something that might turn into an addiction. Like devoting into something that might not yield any positive results.
However, I won't deny the fact that I was definitely born to be a musician! I'm definitely meant for that. I mean...I sure as hell wasn't born to draw....HAHAHA!! A fuckin' cow-dog?? Anyway...it's just a shame that I didn't have the opportunity to actually become one. If you ask me...hell yeah, I'm a li'l bitter about it...but what can I do about it, right? And then again, cooking isn't so bad after all. Maybe it'll take me twice as much hard work to be successful in it, due to the lack of talent, but it'll do. It'll happen for me. I know it will...someday. I can see myself running a kitchen in the future. I can see myself running my own restaurant someday. And I can definitely see myself happy in being a chef.
A friend said to me a few days ago...
"A person should change careers for at least 2 times in his/her life. This way, they get to know themselves better and achieve different experiences in life, and they won't have to wonder what's it gonna be like if they were somethin' else."
I reckon this statement is so true. I mean...how the fuck can you just be an accountant throughout your whole life? Or how the hell can you just be a cop forever? Or a teacher? A doctor? An engineer? Don't u sometimes wonder what's it like to be somethin' else other than what you are right now? Well, if you don't, then you're either a very contented person or you're just too afraid to think about it. I honestly think that this question definitely pops up in every adult's mind...maybe not yet, but definitely in the future.
Alright, I guess that's enough philosophy for the day. I hope all these don't sound too gibberish to you...coz if you understand what I mean, there's some truth to what I've been saying. Okay...I'll see u again in the next post.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
The Fear
What is Fear? According to the dictionary, "fear" is defined as a feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the presence of imminence and danger. Therefore, I fit into this verbal expression. I'm currently in fear. Of what, you might ask?
Answer: EXAMS!!!
However, after long scrutiny, I found out that Exam is not the main thing that I'm fearful of. It's the consequences of the exam that I'm fearful of. You know how consequences can go both ways. Either good or bad. I'm afraid of failure. I'm afraid of doing something that has an unpredictable consequence. I wouldn't do something unless I have at least 90% confidence that I will be successful in that field.
For example, back in high school, we were all forced to take Art as an SPM subject. Thanks to that muthafuckin' biatch by the name of Wong Mee Kiong aka Mrs Soon!! Whoops sorry..I mean Dr Soon. WTF...until now I still dunno she holds a phD in what??? Maybe phD in mentally abusing high school kids! LoLz!! Anyway, back to the subject, the commerce stream class were forced to take Art as an SPM subject. And if you know me well enough, I draw like an elephant with a pencil. Most of you probably didn't know 'bout this. I had a talk with that bitch in her office. That was in Form 5, and my attitude didn't stink as much as when I was in Form 3 and 4. Back in Form 3 n 4, I would've just barked and yelled at her and demanded for what I want. Just like the accounting subject incident. I was a dog that doesn't bite back then.
But in form 5 when I grew up a li'l, I had a very mental conversation with her. When I say mental, I mean like an intense choose-your-words-carefully kinda convo. She was telling me that I should try and work hard on Art so that I can get good marks. But I told her that Art isn't something that you can just work hard and be good at. It requires talent. It's like music...and crafting...and even cooking. You need talent in Art to Ace in that. And obviously back then, I was aiming for fuckin' straight Aces. And maybe some occassional Bs. But sure as hell, I wasn't aiming for a C or D or just a fuckin' Pass. And I was sure as hell that I wouldn't do good in Art. So I told her that I didn't wanna take that as an SPM subject. We were both stubborne mules...so none of us gave in. But somehow...I was still very calm. I didn't lose my temper like I would've. So I told her that she can enrol me in whatever subjects she wants, but I won't attend the exams for Art. I told her that I would be absent in that subject. And she tried to threaten me and say if I'm absent, I will get a fail for my SPM. But I knew better back then. All I would get in my cert is just an X for absent...just for that subject. And X is not a fail. It just simply means absent.
Do you know the reason for telling this story? No..not because I want you to hate Pauline Soon. Coz I know you guys hate her already. Lolz. This story tells you how FEARFUL I am towards failure. I am so afraid of failure that I would be absent (which is something far worse than failure) for an exam that I'm enrolled in. I don't take failure very well. I remember the first time I failed in something, was when I was in Foundation...I failed math. I got 2 or 3 out of 20. You have no idea how that affected me. I couldn't tell nobody...coz I'm ashamed of my failures. So I kept it inside...and today I'm spilling it out. Not because I want fuckin' symphathy....don't even think of sympathizing me thru your comments...I'll just resent it more.
I keep count of my failures...or at least those that affect me. And according to my count, I have failed so many times that I've hit rock bottom. I'm not gonna name em'....coz obviously I don't want you to know. Lolz. But, all I can say is, another failure in my life means nuthin' to me no more. I've heard one say before, "When you've hit rock bottom in your life, you've got nuthin' to lose no more!" That's actually from "Two and a half men"...the comedy series. Haha...but it makes sense, no?
But I can tell you honestly that I'm so fearful that I would fail my exams for this course. Yesterday, my chef was talking about the exams, and trust me, it's not a walk in the park. It's very very hard. I can say that Uni exams are easier than this. Because with Uni exams, you can study hard..and if you don't, it's your fuckin' fault. But with cooking, you only got one shot. Once you screw up the damn chicken or fish, you won't get another and they fail you immediately. So I'm very very nervous about the exams, although it's 2 weeks away. I just hope that when the day comes, it'll be a good day for me. But if I fail, I'm not gonna be as affected as before like in Foundation when I fail math, because now, I'm totally immuned with that feeling of failure. But I know I won't fail...I've worked hard, God is not that mean to me.
Alright, laptop is running out of batt. Will put up the next post when something interesting comes up. Have a good one. Later....
Answer: EXAMS!!!
However, after long scrutiny, I found out that Exam is not the main thing that I'm fearful of. It's the consequences of the exam that I'm fearful of. You know how consequences can go both ways. Either good or bad. I'm afraid of failure. I'm afraid of doing something that has an unpredictable consequence. I wouldn't do something unless I have at least 90% confidence that I will be successful in that field.
For example, back in high school, we were all forced to take Art as an SPM subject. Thanks to that muthafuckin' biatch by the name of Wong Mee Kiong aka Mrs Soon!! Whoops sorry..I mean Dr Soon. WTF...until now I still dunno she holds a phD in what??? Maybe phD in mentally abusing high school kids! LoLz!! Anyway, back to the subject, the commerce stream class were forced to take Art as an SPM subject. And if you know me well enough, I draw like an elephant with a pencil. Most of you probably didn't know 'bout this. I had a talk with that bitch in her office. That was in Form 5, and my attitude didn't stink as much as when I was in Form 3 and 4. Back in Form 3 n 4, I would've just barked and yelled at her and demanded for what I want. Just like the accounting subject incident. I was a dog that doesn't bite back then.
But in form 5 when I grew up a li'l, I had a very mental conversation with her. When I say mental, I mean like an intense choose-your-words-carefully kinda convo. She was telling me that I should try and work hard on Art so that I can get good marks. But I told her that Art isn't something that you can just work hard and be good at. It requires talent. It's like music...and crafting...and even cooking. You need talent in Art to Ace in that. And obviously back then, I was aiming for fuckin' straight Aces. And maybe some occassional Bs. But sure as hell, I wasn't aiming for a C or D or just a fuckin' Pass. And I was sure as hell that I wouldn't do good in Art. So I told her that I didn't wanna take that as an SPM subject. We were both stubborne mules...so none of us gave in. But somehow...I was still very calm. I didn't lose my temper like I would've. So I told her that she can enrol me in whatever subjects she wants, but I won't attend the exams for Art. I told her that I would be absent in that subject. And she tried to threaten me and say if I'm absent, I will get a fail for my SPM. But I knew better back then. All I would get in my cert is just an X for absent...just for that subject. And X is not a fail. It just simply means absent.
Do you know the reason for telling this story? No..not because I want you to hate Pauline Soon. Coz I know you guys hate her already. Lolz. This story tells you how FEARFUL I am towards failure. I am so afraid of failure that I would be absent (which is something far worse than failure) for an exam that I'm enrolled in. I don't take failure very well. I remember the first time I failed in something, was when I was in Foundation...I failed math. I got 2 or 3 out of 20. You have no idea how that affected me. I couldn't tell nobody...coz I'm ashamed of my failures. So I kept it inside...and today I'm spilling it out. Not because I want fuckin' symphathy....don't even think of sympathizing me thru your comments...I'll just resent it more.
I keep count of my failures...or at least those that affect me. And according to my count, I have failed so many times that I've hit rock bottom. I'm not gonna name em'....coz obviously I don't want you to know. Lolz. But, all I can say is, another failure in my life means nuthin' to me no more. I've heard one say before, "When you've hit rock bottom in your life, you've got nuthin' to lose no more!" That's actually from "Two and a half men"...the comedy series. Haha...but it makes sense, no?
But I can tell you honestly that I'm so fearful that I would fail my exams for this course. Yesterday, my chef was talking about the exams, and trust me, it's not a walk in the park. It's very very hard. I can say that Uni exams are easier than this. Because with Uni exams, you can study hard..and if you don't, it's your fuckin' fault. But with cooking, you only got one shot. Once you screw up the damn chicken or fish, you won't get another and they fail you immediately. So I'm very very nervous about the exams, although it's 2 weeks away. I just hope that when the day comes, it'll be a good day for me. But if I fail, I'm not gonna be as affected as before like in Foundation when I fail math, because now, I'm totally immuned with that feeling of failure. But I know I won't fail...I've worked hard, God is not that mean to me.
Alright, laptop is running out of batt. Will put up the next post when something interesting comes up. Have a good one. Later....
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Got issues?
So...I did yet another graveyard shift last night, and another one again tonight, and damn it....I didn't know frickin' Aussies celebrate Halloween's?? I thought it was just in the American culture to celebrate Haloween's. Anyway...It was a damn busy night and as usual, I lost my temper, swore and threw stuff around. Cutlery, plates, trays, etc...you name it!! You see...I'm a person who manages stress by throwing stuff around...and if I could, I would throw that stupid stewarding guy who splashed a bucket of water right in front of me and wet my shoes all around. Fuck that Indian-bangladeshi guy! He's a "bokka chotta", which means "sister-fucker" in the Bengal language. I don't mean to be offensive or discriminative towards them...it's just that most of the time, they don't use their frickin' brains which the Almighty God has gifted us. Or perhaps it's "Allah" to them!
And the worse thing was, there was nobody doing room service in the morning shift that day, and normally, the morning shift person stocks up everything in preparation for dinner and overnight service. So, there was NOTHIN' stocked up for the entire day. No wine glasses, no water glasses, no milk, no juices, no nuthin'!! This is all the works of my great hard-workin' piece of shit restaurant manager (who is an Indian) who couldn't find anyone to cover the morning shift when another "Indian" colleague of mine who was supposed to work that shift, but called in sick the night before. And I don't think he's sick at all! He's probably just having too much action with his gay partner and didn't wanna come in to work. Got fucked too hard up his ass, y'know wat I mean?! Anyway, I don't wanna talk about work no more. I think I'm finally getting enough of Stamford. I have decided to start looking for a new job! A chef job.
NEW TOPIC: RANDOM SHIT GOING THRU MY MIND
So, lots of stuff has been going around in my egg shaped head(that's what they say). I read this article the other day and it was about a man who got arrested for hitting and abusing his kids at home. Like corporal punishment u know...just like the good ol' days where the leather belt or the cane is the solution to all problems with kids at home. I'm sure you know what I mean. I was reading the article and there were lots of opinions on corporal punishment, and personally, I think parents whacking their kids is just the perfect way for kids to associate fear and pain with them. Oh don't get me wrong, I think it's a great idea to hit your kids to make them listen to ya...but possible side effects would be...hhmmm lemme see...they probably would hate you and will never be as close to you as you'd wish to be. And don't even expect them to tell you anything going on in their lives becoz why the fuck do they wanna talk about it with ppl who would hit them? Am I right or what??!!
Oh don't even get started with the, "Your father hit you becoz he loves you" piece of shit jargon. Or, "Your mother hit you with a cane becoz she doesn't want you to be bad" piece of irritating statement. I often find it sooooo funny when ppl say that you know....and I practically LAUGH OUT LOUD whenever the parents themselves say this to their kids! I mean...REALLY....I LAUGH SOOOOOO LOUD whenever I hear this. And after I laugh, I just go, "Fuck off!" Like "Get outta here!" kinda response u know...because I find this impossible to be true. Lemme give you a reality check...there are only a handful of reasons why parents hit their kids.
1. They're drunk and high when their kids piss em' off.
2. The kids really annoyed and pissed the hell outta them and BOOOOOMMMMMMM...there you go...Hiroshima bomb!
3. The parents are extremely short-tempered and are too fuckin' lazy to search for other methods to handle their kids. So they hit em'! You know...always the easy way out with human beings! Temporary solution. Just to shut em' up.
4. These parents have a very unhappy marriage and they take it out on their kids!
5. And finally, these parents are not fit to become parents at the first place.
AM I FUCKIN' RIGHT OR WHAT???!!! Huh?? Tell me.....AM I FUCKIN' RIGHT??!!
Soo...whenever these fuckin' clueless and mindless morons come and tell ya the "Your parents hit you becoz they love you" piece of script, I urge you to SHOW THEM THE FINGER AND TELL THEM TO FUCK OFF AND GO FUCK THEMSELVES, alright? Becoz there is no such thing as that!!! NO SUCH THING!!! NADA!!!
So after reading that article, I felt soooo relieved for the kids who were the victims. And serves him right for doing that at the first place. And may he stay in jail for as long as it takes to drive him nuts. But I don't think they're gonna put him in jail though...coz you know the Australian legal system...it's so fuckin' lenient. It's not like fuckin' Asia or America where the sentences are usually brutal. I always say this to ppl, "If you wanna commit a crime, do it in Australia!"
I realized that I used lots of "Fucks" today in my blog. Ah well...I've been watching "The Sopranos" lately and let's just say that the tv show makes you say fuck like it was the word, "I". Plus, I've been under a lot of stress lately as well. So I curse my heart out whenever I'm stressed out, but I really hope that one day I can learn to handle my stress and anger in the proper way. I just might go to yoga or tai-chi...stuff like that u know...just to calm the soul a li'l. Or maybe just play a bit more jazz music...lolz! If not, I think I might die of a heart attack by age 40...which I don't mind, as long as I've accomplished all my dreams!
By now, you might think that I'm probably an angry biatch who can't stop being mad at the world. Well, truth be told, YES I AM VERY ANGRY AT THE WORLD. Frankly, I wish that I weren't brought into this world at all...becoz if I wasn't here, I wouldn't have to witness all the terrible things that are happening...BOTH IN MY LIFE AND IN THE WORLD!!! But what the fuck can I do about it, right?? All I can do is do my li'l teeny weeny part and get on with it. Fuck me...I just realized that I've wasted one hour of my time doing something that wouldn't matter at all....which is writing this post!! AHhhh forget it....life is definitely not something worth thinkin' too hard about. I'm out...Later!
And the worse thing was, there was nobody doing room service in the morning shift that day, and normally, the morning shift person stocks up everything in preparation for dinner and overnight service. So, there was NOTHIN' stocked up for the entire day. No wine glasses, no water glasses, no milk, no juices, no nuthin'!! This is all the works of my great hard-workin' piece of shit restaurant manager (who is an Indian) who couldn't find anyone to cover the morning shift when another "Indian" colleague of mine who was supposed to work that shift, but called in sick the night before. And I don't think he's sick at all! He's probably just having too much action with his gay partner and didn't wanna come in to work. Got fucked too hard up his ass, y'know wat I mean?! Anyway, I don't wanna talk about work no more. I think I'm finally getting enough of Stamford. I have decided to start looking for a new job! A chef job.
So, lots of stuff has been going around in my egg shaped head(that's what they say). I read this article the other day and it was about a man who got arrested for hitting and abusing his kids at home. Like corporal punishment u know...just like the good ol' days where the leather belt or the cane is the solution to all problems with kids at home. I'm sure you know what I mean. I was reading the article and there were lots of opinions on corporal punishment, and personally, I think parents whacking their kids is just the perfect way for kids to associate fear and pain with them. Oh don't get me wrong, I think it's a great idea to hit your kids to make them listen to ya...but possible side effects would be...hhmmm lemme see...they probably would hate you and will never be as close to you as you'd wish to be. And don't even expect them to tell you anything going on in their lives becoz why the fuck do they wanna talk about it with ppl who would hit them? Am I right or what??!!
Oh don't even get started with the, "Your father hit you becoz he loves you" piece of shit jargon. Or, "Your mother hit you with a cane becoz she doesn't want you to be bad" piece of irritating statement. I often find it sooooo funny when ppl say that you know....and I practically LAUGH OUT LOUD whenever the parents themselves say this to their kids! I mean...REALLY....I LAUGH SOOOOOO LOUD whenever I hear this. And after I laugh, I just go, "Fuck off!" Like "Get outta here!" kinda response u know...because I find this impossible to be true. Lemme give you a reality check...there are only a handful of reasons why parents hit their kids.
1. They're drunk and high when their kids piss em' off.
2. The kids really annoyed and pissed the hell outta them and BOOOOOMMMMMMM...there you go...Hiroshima bomb!
3. The parents are extremely short-tempered and are too fuckin' lazy to search for other methods to handle their kids. So they hit em'! You know...always the easy way out with human beings! Temporary solution. Just to shut em' up.
4. These parents have a very unhappy marriage and they take it out on their kids!
5. And finally, these parents are not fit to become parents at the first place.
AM I FUCKIN' RIGHT OR WHAT???!!! Huh?? Tell me.....AM I FUCKIN' RIGHT??!!
Soo...whenever these fuckin' clueless and mindless morons come and tell ya the "Your parents hit you becoz they love you" piece of script, I urge you to SHOW THEM THE FINGER AND TELL THEM TO FUCK OFF AND GO FUCK THEMSELVES, alright? Becoz there is no such thing as that!!! NO SUCH THING!!! NADA!!!
So after reading that article, I felt soooo relieved for the kids who were the victims. And serves him right for doing that at the first place. And may he stay in jail for as long as it takes to drive him nuts. But I don't think they're gonna put him in jail though...coz you know the Australian legal system...it's so fuckin' lenient. It's not like fuckin' Asia or America where the sentences are usually brutal. I always say this to ppl, "If you wanna commit a crime, do it in Australia!"
I realized that I used lots of "Fucks" today in my blog. Ah well...I've been watching "The Sopranos" lately and let's just say that the tv show makes you say fuck like it was the word, "I". Plus, I've been under a lot of stress lately as well. So I curse my heart out whenever I'm stressed out, but I really hope that one day I can learn to handle my stress and anger in the proper way. I just might go to yoga or tai-chi...stuff like that u know...just to calm the soul a li'l. Or maybe just play a bit more jazz music...lolz! If not, I think I might die of a heart attack by age 40...which I don't mind, as long as I've accomplished all my dreams!
By now, you might think that I'm probably an angry biatch who can't stop being mad at the world. Well, truth be told, YES I AM VERY ANGRY AT THE WORLD. Frankly, I wish that I weren't brought into this world at all...becoz if I wasn't here, I wouldn't have to witness all the terrible things that are happening...BOTH IN MY LIFE AND IN THE WORLD!!! But what the fuck can I do about it, right?? All I can do is do my li'l teeny weeny part and get on with it. Fuck me...I just realized that I've wasted one hour of my time doing something that wouldn't matter at all....which is writing this post!! AHhhh forget it....life is definitely not something worth thinkin' too hard about. I'm out...Later!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)