My Signature "3 Finger-up" Pose

DO YOU HAVE A SIGNATURE POSE THAT YOU WILL ALWAYS DO WHENEVER SOMEONE TAKES YOUR PICTURE?


Well....I DO!!!

This thought just came to me all of a sudden when I realized that I always put up that distinct hand pose whenever I'm in a picture. That "3 finger-up" hand pose...thumb, index and pinky. The so called "I love you" hand sign. But trust me...I don't mean that at all!! I just happen to put up that hand gesture everytime someone snaps a photo of me.

Here it goes...it starts with a li'l subtle pose like this one!

And then the hand goes higher up with the same pose and blocks someone else's face

And now it's becoming a li'l more obvious!

And here comes with both hands tangled with that 3 finger sign. WHAT IS UP WITH THAT??

And this is my favorite. I was on a bench...trying to prove to my colleagues that I wasn't drunk by trying to walk in a straight line. Obviously I fell after 3 steps! Still managed to snap a shot though. Not bad, not bad!!

As for this one...I think I was caught in between two minds. I didn't know whether to flash the sign or not...so I put up my hand, and flashed the fingers halfway!

Sighh...even when I'm not looking at the camera, my signature pose presents itself!

Oops, what happened to my pinky?

Okay okay...I see where u're getting at...maybe they're just coincidences, and you might think that it's totally planned. Let me assure you of the originality of this pose by showing the next and final picture!



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This picture was taken 3 years ago when we were in Kudat!! 3 years ago baby...I can't be makin' this up, can I????


I can't believe that after so many years, I've only just realized that I have a signature pose! LOLZ...!! I've never really noticed it...coz I really have no frickin' idea. HAVE YOU ALWAYS KNOWN THAT I MAKE THIS POSE WHENEVER I'M IN A PICTURE, AND NOT TELL ME ABOUT IT????!!!

Sighh...I think I'm running out of ideas about this blog thing that I'm starting to post crappy and lame topics....like this one! Anyhoo...I'm gonna have to go now! Later, ppl!!

Crazy-ness

Hi guys, I'm back once again to haunt your cyber life! I'm gonna start with some words, and then some crazy semi-explicit pictures that should only be viewed by mature audiences! It's not porn, you perve!

Soo...my last three days have been quite exhausting. My practical classes were craazzeee...and when I say craazeee...I mean it! I haven't done particularly well in my previous 2 classes...but I'm just glad that it's over for the week. I don't wanna go into details...coz I'm pretty bummed out at the moment that I'm starting to doubt my capabilities as a chef. Ahh what the heck...it's never gonna be an easy journey, that's fer sure.

OKAY...change of topic. Last Saturday, I got so frickin' drunk that I don't even recognize my mom anymore. Ahh...I don't even recognize her when I'm not drunk. BAD ANALOGY! Anyway...it was my manager's bachelor cum bachelorette party. The reason why it's "cummed" is becoz both occasions were celebrated together as a whole. Here are some pictures of me and my crazy ass colleagues.

Lemme just start with something milder...that's me in my work uniform, with two bottles of pineapple juice from the room service fridge. I was bringing pineapple juice into one of the bedrooms. And yes...I committed "theft" and broke a rule that can get myself fired from the job...and this photo is clear evidence! Yea yea...Anyone who wants to rat me out can use this picture against me...or they can simply use it as leverage against me. Damn it....It's just pineapple juice for shit's sake.

This is me and Cheryll in the picture. She's Filipino and she's one of my room service mates. We're pretty tight at work...and damn it...she was so drunk that night that she tipped over my pineapple juice for no reason, and laughed by herself. FACT: "It wasn't even funny!"

This is a little group photo of my colleagues and I. From the top left, it's Margarita and Vilisi. Middle left to right, Edward, Kim, Raghu and Cindy who is one of my managers. And there's Cheryll and I at the bottom. Margarita, Vilisi and Cheryll are from room service and Kim is a chef. Edward and Raghu are the restaurant staff.

Now, to the juicier pictures. That's me with the ever famous LOBSTER FACE when I'm drunk. I was pretty hammered that night even though I had only a couple of beers. Usually two beers is nothin' for me. But I guess I was really exhausted that night after a busy service.

Another picture of my lobster face!

Introducing the craziest guy in the party....JURO LUSTIG!! Yes Yes...it's a dildo down his throat!! And no no...he ain't gay! Juro was just crazy ass drunk man. I bet he couldn't forgive himself for shoving that dildo down his throat after he got sober! Lolz! I wonder is that how they party at Slovakia? He's from there.

That's a picture of me and Juro dancing together. He was just dancing with ALL the gurls throughout the night. ALL of the gurls....ALL AT ONCE!! And the gurls were just crazy 'bout him....except me of course. I'm never crazy 'bout anybody...except for Kiefer Sutherland and Gordon Ramsay! REPHRASE...I'm never crazy 'bout anybody that is actually "real" in my life!

Those two were actually the "main casts" of the night, RAJA and SELINA...but I guess Juro stole all their thunder! Haha! Actually I kinda felt bad for them...coz Raja was constantly telling us to "shush" coz we were making too much noise in the rooms. And someone from the party got so drunk and had to work the next morning...he called in sick and Raja had to arrange for another staff to work the shift. Btw, their both Malaysians. Raja is from Perak and Selina is from Sarawak! She's like cino-Iban. Obviously Raja is Indian.

This is a picture of Raja wearing the "G-string" that has a donkey face on the crotch! Part of the money that we chipped in for his gift was dedicated to that G-string. I thought it was a waste of money.

Now this is a picture of me and Shristi. Shristi is from Nepal and she's also one of my pretty tight mates from work. She's also Raja's housemate. I was so drunk that I could't drive home...so I crashed at her place that night.

These are the guys from work! From the left, it's Brandon...he's an ex-employee of stamford, but he's still pretty tight with us. Then it's Cindy, one of my managers, Tim and Edward. OMG...u had no idea how drunk Brandon was. He claimed to have a whole bottle of Vodka by himself. Anyway, when the party ended, Shristi, Brandon and I were wandering around outside the hotel. Then Brandon said, "I'll walk the two of u home!" And then I said, "OKAY!" Then halfway crossing the road, I had the urge to lie on the road. I asked Brandon, "Do u feel like lying on the road? Lie down with me!" He said, "No Veron...it's dangerous! Don't do it!" Then I was like, "Really???!! And I just fell on the road and lied there for like 10 seconds! It was one of the busiest roads in Sydney...it's on the way to the airport!! WUakakak! And I was like, "See...it's not that dangerous! You should've lied down wit me!" Brandon and Shristi were just laughing at me! And though he was drunk, he wasn't actually that crazy to have lied down on the road wit me. I was actually sobering up at that time...but I guess it's just my craziness that kicked in!

That's Tim and Kim! I love to say their names together! TIM AND KIM...TIM AND KIM...TIM AND KIM!!! Nice! And lookie there....guess who's the third wheel at the back?! Hehe!

Spot Veron in this picture!!! (Hint: Look for the foot!)

Just a picture of Cindy, me and Shristi! I dunno why my eyes are squinted! I guess it's the flash! U know how drunk ppl hate flashin' lights!

I still have lots of pictures...but I'm just too lazy to upload them! But I guess it's enough for your entertainment today! hehe! Wanna know a secret?? I wasn't actually drunk at the party, although everyone thought that I was. They assumed that I was drunk just becoz I was really crazy that night. They don't actually know that I'm actually a natural crazy person, hence that nickname I got from Teacher Dee Dee in primary school...."CRAZY GURL." I just needed a little alcohol to kick start my craziness! I guess my workmates don't know me very well. I mean dude...it was just 2 beers! Veron drunk from 2 beers?? Ya wish!!!

Alright kiddos! I'll see ya next time! Hope u enjoyed the pictures! Have a good one! Cheers!

p/s: I got so into The Eagles and Bon Jovi since the past few days! They are frickin' awesome!!

Happiest moment of my life

Have you ever sat back and think about when was the last time you were so happy that nothing in the whole world could ruin that precious moment?? I mean...not even a single thing could ruin it...not even failing your exams....not even getting fired....not even breaking up with your partner.....not even getting robbed....not even losing every single penny in the casino, and not even getting accused of something that you were not guilty of. I actually thought about this for a long long time...and I found out that the last time I actually felt like I was on top of the world was when I got my Taylor 714ce guitar about two years ago. OMG...can't believe my little Taylor is 2 years old already. Sigh....they grow up so fast.

Anyway, when was the happiest moment of my life, you might ask?

It was on October 17th 2008 at about 4.13pm that defined the happiest moment of my entire life. This was the moment when my guitar teacher, Harry Gusman, said to me in the following words:

"Veron, I wanna propose a challenge to you. I have a gig in March, and maybe I want you to play guitar in my band....only if you want to and only if I think you are ready. I'm going to choose between you and another student of mine through an audition. What do you think?"

These were the exact (not really) words that came out of his mouth. And the only words that came out of mine were "......."! None...nada...zilch. I had trouble processing the words...I mean I understood what he was saying the entire time, but I just had trouble believing and actually making sense out of it. After an awkwardly long pause, I finally muttered, "Cool!" COOL????? Was that all I could think of to say? What the hell is wrong with me???!!! Couldn't I be more excited and go, "OMG...really? You really want me to play your gig? U really think I'm good enough? I'm so happy that you believe in me, Harry! Thanks for the opportunity" But hell no....all I could say was a very cool "Cool!"

Nevertheless, I was soooooo damn happy that he gave me this opportunity. You have no idea how much I've wanted this....you have no damn idea!! All my life, I've only been hoping to perform on stage one more time...just like Talentime in high school. I want that rush back....I need it to gain back my confidence. This is not just some high school garage band gig....this is a professional gig...where I actually jam with professional musicians who can play songs like "Sweet child of mine" by Guns & Roses and "Cocaine" by Eric Clapton without making mistakes. OMG...did I go way over my head?! Can I actually handle this?? But then again, my guitar teacher wouldn't ask me if he didn't think I can handle it. I mean...why the hell did he pick me out of his dozens and dozens of students if he didn't think I was good, right? Right!

Well, truth to be told, I'm actually a favorite student of his. LOLZ!! NO NO...I don't gosok his kasut...or kiss his ass...He just thinks I'm very talented and he wants to teach me the best he could, so that he can get the satisfaction, and so that I will improve on my guitar skills...so it's worth the money I pay every month. It's a lot of money ya know...it's about 40% of my month's pay. Aha...no wonder I don't have much savings....DUH!!!

Anyways, I can truly say from the bottom of my heart that this is the moment I've been waiting all along. You see, my life has been very miserable ever since I've come to Sydney. I've felt lonely, left out, caught in between cultures, stressed out, challenged, and been thru lots of changes. I understand that all of these are part of growing up to be an adult...but I guess there are some parts of my life as a child that I wanna keep in my life, even if it's too childish for an adult. For example, I still love looking and shopping for stationery even if I don't need it, especially colored pencils....I still love looking at kid's toys such as board games, legos, puzzles, etc...I still love reading children's story books such as fairy tales like Cinderella, Hansel & Gretel....I still love eating candy that I've eaten as a child....and nevertheless, I still love to play guitar just like I did back in high school.

It would be such a major turning point of my life if I get to play the gig. OH PLEASE LORD....LET ME BE THE ONE!! I WANT THIS SO BAD!! SOOOOO BADDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!! I WOULD TOTALLY GIVE UP EVERYTHING FOR THIS GIG!! EVERYTHING!!! ALL MY MONEY...MY PRIDE...MY TIME...MY JOB...EVEN COOKING!!

Oh my God...HAVE I MADE THE WRONG DECISION TO MAKE COOKING AS MY CAREER???? OMG OMG OMG!!! Fuck no....VERON, GET THIS THOUGHT OUTTA YOUR HEAD RIGHT NOW!!!! Remember!! You love your hobby more than your career, okay???!!! Which means that you love to play guitar more than cooking...which is why playing guitar should always be your hobby!! Never your career. You can hate your job, but never your hobby! Shove this thought into your brain right now, Veron!

I'm sorry...sometimes I like to monologue! Anyway...to sum up...my guitar teacher offered me to play guitar at his gig. I'm truly honored..and very excited! I really wish I would get this, instead of the other person. I am very motivated to practise three times as hard as I would normally do. Usually I would practise about an hour in two days. So starting today, I'm gonna start practising at least 2 hours everyday...NO EXCUSES!! Doesn't matter if I'm too tired....doesn't matter if I'm gonna miss out on my sleep (I'm insomniac anyway). Bottom line is, I am gonna work very hard to top this audition! Wish me luck, guys....and definitely pray for me! Thanks for sharing my joy...have a good one! See ya next time!

Insomnia

YESSZZ!! It's finally Wednesday, which is the final day of class for the week. You have no idea how much of a relief this is. Getting up at 6am in the morning just isn't a bit of fun at all. As usual, I went to college at 6.30am in the morning, and I made some "Mushroom Chaussons" and "Poached Pear" today. Mushroom Chaussons is just like curry puffs, except that the filling is a mixture of mushrooms, ham, foie gras (duck's liver) and parsley. As usual again, mine wasn't as successful. It didn't puff too well for me this time...the puff folds were too minimal. However, my poached pear was great. My chef was impressed with my pear. She said that the texture is perfect and the apricot glaze was just right. Not too sweet and chunky...just perfect. So I guess today isn't such a bad day after all.

The reason for my title today is because I haven't had much sleep for the past three days. I think I have insomnia...sleep disorder. My body is tired, and yes I do feel sleepy, but I just can't fall asleep. Even after I closed my eyes and thought I'm asleep, I'm actually not...coz I could still hear the bass pumps produced from Bryant's subwoofer in the next room....crystal clear. I wanted to ask him to turn down a notch, but was too lazy to get up. But I knew that wasn't the main reason that I couldn't fall asleep. It was me...purely me.

I HAVE INSOMNIA!!

How to treat insomnia? WTF...I'm no doctor. All I know is I could pop a pill and sleep like a baby. But I don't wanna pop a pill. I wanna sleep naturally. But as I had time to think about it today, I believe this is the beginning of a chef's life. Why do I say that? Coz chefs never have enough sleep...they never do...not that they don't wanna...it's just that they can't. They gotta work like 12-18 hours a day, and that's like 6 hours of sleep? Well...what about taking shower, eat, and shit? That'll probably take another hour. So that's 5 hours of the day left to sleep. It's true...I'm not exaggerating. You can ask any chef in the world...they will tell u the same thing.

I know I know...I haven't reached that level where I work 18 hours a day. But I probably will encounter this in the future. So like I said, this is the beginning of a chef's life. Long working hours, short or no breaks, stressful environment and sleepless nights. That's worse than being an inmate. Except that there's no satisfaction in being an inmate. But as a chef, there's satisfaction to gain every single day after a successful and productive service, no matter how tiring it is. That's why I chose this career.

So when I got back from college today at around 3pm, I crashed straight away until about 10pm. And yet I'm still tired. It's all the accummulated fatigue from previous days. And I still gotta work tomorrow. DAMN IT. Life is hard.

I know life as a chef is very hard...but I've learnt something from an episode of Scrubs last night.

"Anything that doesn't require hard work is not worth having at all."

I think this quote has a strong truth to it. It makes a lot of sense. If something is hard to get, then it must be something very valuable. Same case to being a chef. If it's hard being a chef, then it must a great thing to become one. So no matter how hard it is, I will keep striving on.

That's all for my post today. I'm very tired and my mind is not letting out words. I actually struggled a bit writing this post. I'm just basically very stressed out I need more rest. I'll see you again in my next post. Later.

I MADE QUICHE!!

Okay...No whining today! No complaining today! I just wanna share with all of you out there the joy I'm currently in. I FINALLY DID SOMETHING RIGHT IN THE KITCHEN TODAY!! IN FACT, IT'S AWESOME!!

Today, we made quiche and vegetable couscous. It was quite a lengthy process, coz first we had to make the short cut pastry and let it rest for 30 mins, then the custard and let it rest again for 15 mins. Meanwhile letting the pastry and custard rest, we had to make our vegetable couscous. It was quite fun in the beginning, but we all had to rush a bit at the end. But it was all cool. All of us managed to make the quiche and vegetable couscous successfully.

So...why am I so happy today?? First of all, I managed to finish baking my quiche and cooking my couscous in time, unlike other students in other classes. And the best part is, they're both delicious! Yes indeed, Veron finally did something right!" And I received compliments from my chef too. Isn't it great?

But I still had some down side that I need to improve on. And that's my work flow and organization. Well, let's just say that I'm not exactly famous for being organized. So I guess this is something I have to work on. Okay I'm not gonna keep bragging 'bout how wonderful my day is....but I just wanna tell you guys what happened with my couscous before I put up some photos. Ok...this is how it goes.

I was trying to get my quiche baked, while I left the couscous on a hot stove. I kinda forgot my couscous was still cooking...and guess what? It overcooked and got burnt. I took away the lid and OMG...it smelled so burnt that I decided to close the lid back...coz I didn't want my chef to know that I burnt the couscous. Only the bottom part was burnt, so I took the top parts and stir fried it with the veges. I was kinda hoping that my chef wouldn't be able to taste the burnt taste. I mean...let's face it...not everyone's palate is like Gordon Ramsay's! So after I cooked the couscous, I put it on a hot plate. Then I realized that I didn't put soy sauce. DARN...so I put the couscous back into the frying pan again, this time I added some soy sauce. So from then on I knew that I screwed up...BIG TIME. And when it's time for my chef to taste my couscous....I was so damn surprised that he said, "That's delicious...the flavor is very well balanced and your vegetables are well cut. Good job, Veron!"

Omg...you couldn't believe the width of my smile after that. I was still smiling even when I walked back to my station. I think my classmates saw me and think i'm a little cuckoo. Anyways...so bottom line is...I made a great quiche and a great couscous. Now I'm gonna show you some pictures that you've all been waiting for!!

TADDDAAAAAAAAA!!

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ME IN MY CHEF'S WHITES!!









This is the second most expensive thing I have in my possession. It's my tool kit....everything that I need to be a chef!

This is my delicious luscious "Quiche Lorraine". The sides are made of short cut pastry called "Pate Brisee Salee"(put a dash on top of the 'e'....yes it's french). The middle consists of custard, bacon lardons and grated gruyere cheese. Btw, gruyere cheese smells like dirty socks. Despite that,it's damn delicious. I wish you guys could taste it!

Another picture of my Quiche Lorraine. Oh, if you're wondering why a part of the quiche is missing. Well...hehe...I ate it on my way back home, while driving. That just explains how bad the rush hour is and how hungry I was. I didn't eat the whole day....coz there was simply no time! Damn...being a chef is hard!

Despite that, I really love being a chef. I just love it! Although cooking doesn't come very natural to me, I still love it. I mean...the satisfaction is there when you've accomplished something. And I pay attention to every single thing that chef is saying during his demonstrations and theory classes. If you put a camera in front of me during demo class, you can see that I sometimes don't blink as much and my mouth is wide open. It's because I'm highly amazed with the stuff that chef is doing, and that I'm so wrapped up in the moment. The feeling is almost like watching Slash perform Sweet child of mine when it comes to the lead part. I simply freeze when I watch Slash perform the lead...even if I'm halfway crossing the road.

It's so different from the times when I was still in Uni. When I was still in Uni, I would find every excuse possible to escape class. And sometimes, I didn't even need an excuse. I just skip without feeling guilty. But now it's all so different. I would wake up everyday at 6am sharp and drive 45 mins to college, without feeling laziness or procrastination. It's like I want to go to class! It's like I can't wait til class starts! That's how motivated and determined I am 'bout this course. I think I've made the right choice in changing my course. I don't care what ppl say....I don't care if I will never ever wear a corporate attire anymore....and I certainly don't care if I don't have a degree in my life. All I care right now is to become the best chef I can ever be, and to delight people with my delicious food!

Graveyard shifts

For the past two nights, I've been doing graveyard shifts....from 11pm til 7am. Yeah yeah I know what you're thinking...poor Veron...must've been tiring...blah blah blah. But guess what?? I loved it. It's only my second time doing graveyard shifts and it totally rocks. WHY???? Because I'm all alone in the kitchen and I can do whatever I want.

Just lemme run thru with you a typical graveyard shift. First you sign in at 11pm and just sit in the office and wait for guests to call. And if you don't know already, not many ppl would order room service in the middle of the night. Most of the time, they'll probably order alcohol...and even that comes pretty rare. So basically, the graveyard shift is just a bonus shift man. It's easy peasy...and it's a job for slackers. And that is why I LOVE IT!!!

So, the chef will normally close the kitchen at around 12.30am, and from then on, it's all microwaved food. At around 12.30am when there's not many ppl who would ring up anymore, I would start doing floor check. Floor check is just going up to all the floors and pick up dirty trays that guests leave outside their door after they've finished their meal. At the same time, I gotta collect the breakfast cards for which they hang on their door knob. Most ppl would think that it's a no-brainer job, but just try doing it themselves for once and they'd be surprised that it's actually pretty tiring.

So the whole floor check process will normally take about an hour, depending on how many trays are left outside. After that, I'll start prepping the breakfast orders that I've collected during floor check. Now...this is another time consuming task. This whole process will take about an hour and a half, so by around 3am, everything should be set and done. And meanwhile I'm prepping for the breakfast orders, I listen to my music on my laptop. And YES...I bring my laptop to work! Only on graveyard shifts though! Hehe. Ssshhhh....don't tell anyone!

So...from 3am onwards....I basically just scratch myself to entertain myself. Coz there is absolutely nothing else that I can do. Most ppl would sleep....but I, on the other hand, would watch movies on my laptop!!! So yeah...I have like 2 hours of free time to do whatever I want. And 2 hours is just right for a movie!! How convenient, right??? Damn....I love my job!!

It's funny how I get paid $18 bucks an hour to do absolutely the least....and sometimes even nothing. Very efficient there on handling manpower....thumbs up to my managers! But then again...it is a graveyard shift after all....a shift that nobody would wanna do. So, I'm not gonna feel all guilty about doing nothing and get paid. Coz hey...I'm make a sacrifice here. Look...I wake up on Monday to Wednesday at 6am in the morning and go to college....and on Thursday and Friday, I gotta stay up the entire night for work. It's a huge difference that my body clock has to handle. I mean gosh....I even gotta plan when to sleep so that the timing thing works out right. So once again, I emphasize....I DO NOT FEEL GUILTY RIPPING MY EMPLOYERS OFF BY SLACKING AWAY DURING MY GRAVEYARD SHIFTS!! So bite me!

Well, sometimes it can get pretty lonely during graveyard shifts. Coz there's no one around, except for the janitor, who by the way can speak pretty good malay despite his pure Bangladesh heritage who has never lived in Malaysia for more than a month. But I was impressed when he could say "Apa khabar?" "Sudah makan kah?" "Kau tidak lapar kah?" All that, he could speak very naturally...just as if he's a malaysian. Very impressive I gotta say! That was actually the very first time that I've ever spoken to him....well, I guess it's becoz he does graveyard shifts, so I rarely see him. From the way he talked, he sounded like a pretty smart and educated guy. But I don't know why he's just a janitor. He could do so much better, really. Or perhaps...he's just a simple guy who wants a simple life with a simple job....which btw pays pretty decently. Only in Australia!

Okay...by the time it's 5am...trust me...your eyes will start to feel heavy. But ironically, it's the busiest time of the entire shift, coz that's when breakfast starts. Quite a few guests would want their breakfast delivered to their rooms between 5am and 7am. So...that's when the action really begins....at the end of the shift. It's quite shitty...really. Coz by that time, I'm so dead tired that I just wanna crash on the floor. But I guess adrenaline will always keep pumping and make me stay awake, especially when it's busy.

Another shitty part of my job is....there's lots of orders requested to be sent up at 7am. And guess what? That's the end of my shift. And most ppl would just leave at 7am sharp...I mean...you're allowed to do that from a legal view point. But guess what again? In room service, you can't just leave without having the next person arrive. If the next person is early, then great! But if she's just on time or even a teensy weensy bit late, I gotta deliver all of the 7am orders and by the time I finish those, it's already 7.15am. And guess what again? You don't get paid for the extra 15 minutes. Bugger!

So by the time I reach home, I'll be so tired and go straight to bed. And you know what?? Because I'm overworked...my body is physically tired, but I can't get my eyes to shut. This is what happens to me when I overwork my body. So, I would go online and surf a bit...or even watch an episode of Scrubs until my eyes feel heavy.

Bottom line is...graveyard shift is a great way to earn money for doing nothing...but it just eats up your energy so quickly (despite doing nothing) that it's really bad for your health....which is why I'm not doing it anymore next week!! Next week I'm back to night shifts! Typical 3-11 or 6-11 shifts. Though it can get busy during night shifts, but it's less tiring. It's funny how things can get so paradoxical. Doing nothing can actually make you feel so much more tiring than doing something!

That's all I gotta say in this post. I know it's probably not interesting to listen to me whine about my job...or just merely talking about it for that matter, but I guess I've been so overwhelmed with work lately that I feel the need to talk about it. So...thanks for reading this. I'll be back soon with more whining and complaints! Lolz....later!

What you think is not what you will get

Most of you would've known that I've started my Basic Cuisine Certificate course at Le Cordon Bleu on Tuesday morning. Lemme just bring you back to Monday night. I had to work on Monday night and thank God it wasn't a busy night. Plus...it was a public holiday and I got double paid...Yayy!! Anyway...I got home at around 11.30pm and I had to prepare for my first day of school. You still remember that feeling that you used to get on the night before the first day of school? That was the feeling I had on Monday night. My emotions were just going haywire....I was excited, scared, happy and nervous at the same time. It was really crazy for me...coz it's been a while since I had butterflies in my stomach over something. I remember the last time I had this feeling was the night before my Talentime performance at high school...Form 3 I think it was. OMG...it was the exact same feeling. Except that I was significantly more confident in playing guitar, as compared to cooking....or chopping for this matter. Coz all we did the first day was cutting vegetables!

Nevertheless, all these mixed emotions just drove me up the wall and I just couldn't fall asleep. Occasionally, I would think about the stuff that I'm gonna learn the next day...and how I was going to answer a question that my chef would ask me. And I would think of these scenarios where I become the star in my class, just coz I could do everything right. HAHHA...I know what you're thinking...I know I'm such a day dreamer....but could you say honestly say that you've never thought about stuff like these? Just what I thought! Basically, I felt like I was invincible you know, like nothing could stop me from becoming the best of the best!! So, all these scenes just flashed in my mind. I went to bed at around 1.00am and I had to get up at 6am. But the truth is, I only got a couple of hours sleep coz I think I was still awake at 3.00am. It's been a while since I've felt this way 'bout something. I've never even felt this way on the night before my first day of Uni. Well, I guess I only feel this way towards the things I really care about. Just like Form 3's Talentime.....and now this. I'm glad I felt this way...although it was torturing....but this only gave me greater motivation to succeed in this field.

I woke up the next day as soon as the alarm clock rings. To be honest (some of u may know), I never wake up as soon as the alarm clock rings. I normally lie on bed for an extra 15 mins, and sometimes it goes up to half an hour. It's just an ol' habit that I've never wanted to get rid of. But somehow, I managed to jump out of bed, despite the lack of sleep, feeling really fresh and excited. And invincible....hehe! So, I drove to college all the way at Ryde....it's a 40 minute drive. I reached the college at around 7.00-ish and went to change. It was quite a rush honestly, coz the chef's jacket has so many buttons and it's really difficult to button up. That was a little bumpy start for me...coz I thought if I arrived at 7.00-ish, I would have adequate time to change and get ready for my demonstration class. But I guess not for the first day, coz I spent some time changing, and looking for classrooms.

Anyway, my first demonstration class. It's a little demonstration theatre, where there's a fully equipped little kitchen in front of the theatre, and seats around it. And there are cameras and LCD screens in the theatre as well to enlarge the demonstration. First thing that came to my mind...."Cooking show"! It's more or less like that. I sat at the front row, so I had a pretty good view of the demo. On the first day, we usually learn to chop veges into several forms of cuts...and that's what we did. It looked pretty simple from the demo, but when you actually do it, it's quite difficult. After the demo, we had our practical and we went to our given classes. My class had lots of Brazilians and Koreans...and French! I'm the only Malaysian, and obviously, I was kinda left out. Coz they were all in their little cliques. But I didn't care much, coz we were so swamped with work that we didn't have much time to mingle anyway.

Okay...back to my practical. We were chopping veges. And OMG...it is so difficult. I was doing it so slowly...and everybody was ahead of me! And knowing me, I'm a very competitive person. I wanna be the fastest and best at what I'm doing. Just like playing guitar, I wanna be better than everybody around me. If there's anyone better than I am, I would dislike that person and attempt to improve and be better than he or she. That's why I never liked to "youtube" random unknown ppl who are good at guitar. Coz all I'd feel is envy and bitterness. But there's always something positive that would derive from that....and that's motivation to be better! Okay...so everyone was ahead of me in chopping, and it didn't feel good at all. So basically, I had a pretty shit day. I know that you would think that it's no big deal being a little slow....but trust me...when your expectations towards yourself is so high up above the sky, even a slight disappointment will crush you....and your confidence. And that was what happened to me. And this is a very competitive industry...you absolutely gotta be the best of the best in order to be successful! And I'm not gonna be that mediocre person anymore....not anymore...not ever!! I WANNA BE THE BEST!

So the first day didn't go well, I can scrap that. So today was the second day and I strive to improve. I did improve slightly, I guess. At least now, I wasn't the slowest in class. There're others who were slower than I am....and I'm glad that the vegetable and fish stock that I made was a success. However, I failed at another thing. And this one is truly a failure! We made puff pastry today and fuck me...I failed not just once, but twice!! First time, I had way too much flour...coz apparently, I measured it wrongly. Coz I used the wrong weighing bowl, and therefore, it wasn't measured properly. Okay, fine...I chucked that away and made a second one....while everyone was already finishing with theirs. Second time, fuck me...I had way too little water. And this time is because I calculated it wrongly. I didn't know 1 cup was 250mls....and therefore half a cup is 125mls. I only filled up 1/4 cup...which is obviously insufficient. The dough was way too hard....like a damn rock. My chef was sympathetic and she gave me her dough instead. And knowing me, I'm a person who doesn't tolerate self-pity. I don't like ppl to feel sympathetic towards me...coz it makes me feel like I'm not in control. I hate that. But because we didn't have much time, I took her dough anyway and sucked it up.

After the practical ended, I felt like shit. Even worst that shit. I dunno what's worse than shit...but if I knew, that was what I was. Every story has its lesson...and I think I've learned mine. The lesson is...

"What you think is not what you will get."

And also, "The greater the expectation, the greater the disappointment!"

Oh and another one, Always have breakfast before class so that your stomach doesn't growl and make a fool of yourself!"


So that's how my past three days have gone by. Wasn't that great. I hope yours was better. There are times, for the past few days, that I would think that maybe cooking just wasn't for me. But as soon as I put that thought in my head, I discard it right away. Coz that's just crazy! I know I can do better....and I know I've got what it takes to become a successful chef. I know that this was just a bumpy start of the race, but as long as I put more effort to it, I'm sure the journey will be less turbulent. I know what I'm doing now is the best thing that could've happen to me...and I'm going to take advantage of that. I hope that next week will be a better week...and I certainly hope that I will have the support of all of you...by reading my posts!! Thanks for tuning in. Have a great one!

Blue Mountains Trip

Hey there, I'm back again! Oh God, I'm so sick...I have fever! But it won't stop me from updating my blog...lolz! So...I'm not gonna write too much in this post, coz I'll be uploading lots of photos from the Blue Mountains Trip. So here it goes......



This was at the Jenolan Caves entrance. The building has a very unique architectural build. According to Angela, it's "cute". I wonder what it means...


This was the gang that I went to Blue Mountains with. Plus me of course, who is the photographer for this shot. I think we were inside the railway tour thingy at Scenic World.


Just a picture of Me, Angela and May Ling, while waiting for the cave tour.


Me, sipping on a cup of lousy capuccino, which I gave up on after a few sips. Really....it was a very bad cup of coffee!!! Somehow I still manage to smile for the picture!


Peace out, ya'll!!!


I think I saw a ghost or sumthin'!! Either that, or I saw Kiefer Sutherland....completely naked!! WUakakKAkakaka!!


Now, let me introduce you to one of my oldest friends whom I've met in Sydney. Her name is Ivy! And let me tell you a li'l sumthin' bout this woman. SHE LOVES TO TAKE PICTURES OF HERSELF....WITH EVERYTHING....EVERYWHERE...EVERYTIME!!! And it doesn't matter if no one's taking picture of her....coz she'll shiok sendiri and take it by herself...just like the next few solo pictures she's taken for herself. Very special girl!!


See what I mean?


Now let me shift the focus to another dear friend of mine, whom I met in my first year of Uni. ANGELA CATALAN!!! This gurl is crazy ass funny! Just look at the picture above and you'll understand.



There's a picture of me and Ang. I really love this photo! Very photogenic!! I think we might have a chance to win something like a "dynamic duo picture award." Okaayy...I know it's lame!


Uinahh...Now here's our model bah....my housemate of the year...MAY LING!!! She normally doesn't like to be in pictures. Everytime you snap one, she'll complain about looking fat, etc, etc. But we all gotta agree that this is a pretty good picture! The way she pose bah...bergaya this!


Picture of me....and the cave! Cave Chifley to be exact!!


I really have no idea why I looked so ganas in this picture! I can't recall what I saw that made my face so ganas! Pardon me!! I didn't mean to put on my "what the fuck you lookin' at" face! I normally only show that face at work. Hehe!

More random photos....








Actually, these are only pictures of the second day of our trip! The pictures of the first day are with Angela, which is yet to be uploaded. So I'll upload them as soon as I get them! Basically, I had a lot of fun throughout the 2 days and 1 night at Blue Mountains.

You have no idea how much we've got to know each other throughout this 2 days. May Ling and Ivy have only officially known Angela for 2 days, but it seems like they've known each other for years. And we started talking 'bout politics when we all got a li'l tipsy. Trust me!! BAD IDEA....NUH-UH!!! BAD BAD IDEA!! Listen to my advice, never ever talk about politics when you're drunk....or should I say, never talk about politics with IVY!! OMG...we almost had a physical fight talking bout politics. I almost wanted to throw the glass of Southern Comfort whiskey with Lemonade to Ivy's face! Really...I almost did!!

Nevertheless, it was a great experience. Looking forward to another road trip like this! Except maybe for the politics discussion under the influnce of alcohol. Alright, I realized that I'm way behind my posts. So many things have happened in the last couple of days, that I didn't have time to write em' all down on my blog. So, I'll just make a short summary.

I had my orientation yesterday and my oh my...the college was infested with Asians! Could not believe it until I saw it. Not really a great start, to be honest. But everything's cool....I got my tool kit and uniform, which is awesome! And basically, I'm all up and ready to learn and become a chef!! So I will see you soon, in my next post! Thanks for tuning in!!