Could the third time be the charm?

First of all....I wanna wish one of my best friends in the world a happy birthday.

HAPPY 22ND BIRTHDAY ALEXANDRA MARY CHIN MUI KHIUN

May all your wishes come true...and hope that you will always be happy wherever you are and in whatever you do!! Cheers, bud!

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Have you ever experienced anything that has failed you miserably, hurt you badly, and left you with absolutely nothing but regrets and sorrows??

Well, I have. Twice!

The discussion here is not about "what", it's in fact about "how" and "why" these events occur. I know you must be really confused right now, but just bear with me. These experiences of failure, hurt and regret are all part of life...and it will happen to everyone's life at least once in their lives, almost 100% percent of the time. Like I said, it doesn't matter what it is....what matters is just how and why it happened. So the question here is....How did it happen....and why?

For me, these kinda experiences have happened twice. And both events are so similar to each other, in terms of how and why it happened. I obviously did not learn my lesson the first time around.

Shame on me if you fooled me once...and shame on you if you fooled me twice.

I obviously never understood this saying until after those events have occurred...which was already a bit too late.....

Back to the point...so how did it happen...and why.

1. NAIVITY
I was way too naive when these bad experiences occurred to me. I thought I had it in me...I thought I could handle it....but NO...I was wrong. I couldn't handle even the easiest part...so in the end I just messed it up. I believed that I had what it takes to make it a success....but HELL NO...you didn't, Veron. You were an amateur and the experts screwed you over.

2. STUPIDITY
I thought I was smart enough to understand the stakes at hand...but NO...I was wrong again. I was dwelled so deeply into my own stupidity, that I totally lost track of what was happening...and thus, got screwed over again.

3. DESPERATION
Desperate times call for desperate measures. And I was desperate for a solution to my problems. Desperate enough to sacrifice the most important things in my life. The worst part was...I showed my desperation to my opponents...and they took advantage of it. Bad move once again.

Okay..I'm sure you're totally lost right now....but bear with me for a few more minutes...and I promise you a twisted ending.


These bad experiences are all history now. I've learnt my lessons and will not make the same mistakes the third time....OR WILL I????

So here's the question....Could the third time be the charm?? Could I really pull it off this time?? Could I really make this a success, so that previous accounts can be wiped off my miserable life?

I believe God has given me a third chance....but the thing is...I do not know if he's really giving it to me, or does he want me to work for it?? Either way, I'm grateful...because I get a 50-50 chance to score and completely wipe off the failed attempts in my previous records.

However, these so-called previous bad experiences have given me some form of phobia. I assume that the same shit is gonna happen to me again like previous accounts...and now I don't really dare to commit myself into winning this third chance. I'm so afraid that I would fail again, leaving me with nothing but regrets and misery. So what should I do?

There is an upside to this third chance. The upside is that I hold all the cards at the moment, instead of my opponent. There is more advantage to my side...and if I play my cards right, it could be the turning point of my life. It could change my life drastically...and trust me, I need that!! I guess I really gotta play it cool...and not rush into anything that could jeopardize my chance of success.

Now, I am 100% sure that you have absolutely no fucking idea on what I just said. But like I said...it's not the "what" that's important.....it's the "how" and "why". If you've read til this far...thanks for reading! There's no twist or whatever to this story...it's just my way of expressing my complicated mind in contexts that don't really make sense to you....but if you know me well enough, you'd be able to catch slightly on what I've been ranting about.

Cheers, buds!!